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  1. #1
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Default Fatties cause global warming

    Fatties cause global warming.

    So say the oracles: Fatties cause global warming | The Sun |News

    Don't you feel the slightest pang of remorse for being a dreadful strain on an already overstrained planet?

    Polar bears fall into the sea like giant white penguins. And you tuck into another burger.

    So Morrissey was wrong -

    YouTube - Morrissey - You're the one for me, Fatty (hq)

    And... How the obesity epidemic is aggravating global warming - environment - 27 June 2007 - New Scientist

  2. #2
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Our combined weight is crushing the earths crusts down, causing heat to escape through the rifts, melting the polar caps!

    *cough*

    (I think there is no one particular thing responsible, but rather a giant pile of tons of things, amongst which is also nature itself. :P )

  3. #3
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Even though this is a joke, people may find it offensive.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #4
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    My fellow INTJ...*takes aside*

    There may be logical proof, but to post such a thread, to have such stories in the news, it's not necessary.

    You might find that it is offensive, whether you believe so or not.

    I know it goes against the TJ type, but try to understand and sympathize. This will just make such a person upset, and we don't want that.
    Sorry.

    Edit: You gotta be quick, OWS. Clarification: the tone is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. No offence to polar bears or penguins is intended. Or fatties.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bananatrombones View Post
    Sorry.
    I now realize this is a joke. I had only glanced at the news page. No harm
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    As official spokesman for all fat people (weighing in at a svelte 300 pounds), I would like to say congratulations thus far to all fat people on our conspiracy to make the northern United States warmer than the south. Through mere virtue of our prodigious girth, I feel that we have managed to make excellent progress thus far, especially when compared to those pussies who run the power plants. They think they're doing damage? Hah! Our combined efforts alone spill out more waste in 34 minutes than 20 power plants do in one hour!

    We shall make Ohio the next Florida! Just believe.

    </end sarcasm>

    I really am pretty fat, and I find this news story hilarious. I read it and just sort of facepalmed.
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

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  7. #7

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    Gotta love Sun headlines.

    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Our combined weight is crushing the earths crusts down, causing heat to escape through the rifts, melting the polar caps!

    *cough*

    (I think there is no one particular thing responsible, but rather a giant pile of tons of things, amongst which is also nature itself. :P )
    The only thing responsible for global warming is the immensity of human ignorance that burns hotter than the flames of hell and consumes the species in an insatiable inferno, destined to spread into the destitute darkness of eternity.

    Another funny note, only 30% of Americans now believe in man made global warming. It is the lowest item of concern on people's minds. If you want a cure for your fictitious man made global warming problem, just wait til winter comes again.

    Bunch of @^$#%# @$#@# (#&# science molesting, #$#@^ @()# fact obscuring global warming believers.

  9. #9
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    well maybe faties they should be more of the solution rather than contributing to the problem by overconsumption. And hey...they'll loose some weight in the process.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  10. #10
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Even though this is a joke, people may find it offensive.
    Let them.

    Too many people get offended at minutiae.


    This is a funny thread, bananatrombones. Carry on, good fellow.

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