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    Senior Member cogdecree's Avatar
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    Default 4 Out of 10 People Are Born Out of Wedlock.

    Out-of-wedlock births hit record high - CNN.com

    (CNN) -- Had she been born a generation earlier, Kim Hoffman might have had a shotgun wedding. As it turned out, she and Steve Miller took the time to plan their dream nuptials -- outdoors, on an organic farm, and with their 10-month-old daughter in tow.


    Kim Hoffman and Steve Miller pose on their September 2005 wedding day with 10-month-old daughter, Sadie.

    1 of 2 A pre-marriage birth certainly wasn't what her father wanted for his only daughter, said Hoffman, of Oakland, California. But seven months into her relationship with Miller, the unplanned pregnancy simply changed life's course.

    "We would have headed down this path. The pregnancy just accelerated things," she said of the couple's cohabitation, the birth of Sadie and their 2005 wedding. "It was the way it was meant to be."

    Along with magazine-cover grabbers like Angelina Jolie and Bristol Palin, Hoffman, today a 39-year-old mother of three, is part of a now record-breaking trend of women who give birth outside of wedlock.

    Nearly 40 percent of babies born in the United States in 2007 were delivered by unwed mothers, according to data released last month by the National Center for Health Statistics. The 1.7 million out-of-wedlock births, of 4.3 million total births, marked a more than 25 percent jump from five years before.

    Statistics such as these, which include for the second year in a row a bump in teen pregnancies, after a 14-year decline, leave Sarah Brown concerned. She worries about the children born to unwed parents -- about the disadvantages they often face, including increased likelihood of poverty and greater high school dropout rates. See the number of out-of-wedlock births by race and age »

    "I wish people spent as much time planning when to get pregnant, with whom, under what circumstances as they do planning their next vacation," said Brown, the CEO and founding director of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "The stigma [of out-of-wedlock births] has eroded, and these numbers made me feel perhaps it's disappeared altogether."

    That stigma Brown speaks of, however, isn't one that LaShanda Henry, 28, or the women in her family before her, would have known. Her parents never married. And her grandmother only had a wedding when she was in her 60s.

    So when Henry, of Greenville, North Carolina, and her boyfriend of now five years, Jean Paul, had Christopher two years ago, there was no pressure to race down the aisle.

    "Culturally speaking" taking vows wasn't expected, said Henry, who runs the Black Moms Club, an online social network, and the Web-only Mahogany Momma Magazine. "Do we want to spend that money on a wedding or a house? ... I guess it's about priorities. I was never one of those girls that dreamed about the wedding dress."

    What she said about cultural differences and expectations might help explain some of the numbers. Other data released last month showed the percentage of unwed mothers differs from race to race. While 28 percent of white women gave birth out of wedlock in 2007, nearly 72 percent of black women and more than 51 percent of Latinas did.

    "With the publicity of our first family," meaning the Obamas, Henry said in a discussion group entry, marriage might "slowly become more of a norm for all."

    Henry's experience also echoes what Paula England, a Stanford University sociology professor, learned when she co-edited "Unmarried Couples with Children," which was published in 2007. That book traced for four years 50 unmarried couples, the majority of them black or Latino, that had babies in 2000, and the findings shot down some of her predictions.

    England assumed many of the fathers would have high-tailed it out of the picture by the sixth month of pregnancy, leaving single mothers "truly single," the sociologist said. Instead, she found that in 80 percent of the non-marital births, parents stayed romantically involved and in 50 percent of the cases they were living together.

    Still, the bulk of responsibility often falls to the mother. According to a 2008 survey by the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 9.8 million single mothers versus 1.8 million single fathers.

    Support groups, such as Sisters Helping Sisters, exist to help single moms, providing them with resources, tips and empathetic ears.

    Founded in 1997, the Kansas City, Missouri, program was the brainchild of Teri Worton Brooks, now 39. She was in her early 20s when she found herself with a baby boy to take care of on her own.

    "I had no clue how to raise him and no clue how to better my life," she said. "But I knew there was a sisterhood among women. ... We could learn from one another."

    The bulk of babies born to unwed mothers may be unplanned, but that doesn't take into account lesbian couples or women who've decided to go it alone. For many of them, the decision is the result of years of thought and emotional soul-searching.

    When California Cryobank, which claims to be the world's largest sperm bank, opened its doors in the late 1970s, 99 percent of its business catered to couples grappling with male infertility, spokesman Scott Brown said. Now, that market in the sperm donor world accounts for less than 14 percent, according to projections by Charles Sims, the organization's co-founder and medical director.

    About 50,000 women delivering babies each year are single moms by choice, said Mikki Morrissette, author of "Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide," and founder of the online resource Choice Moms.

    Many of these mothers choose to tap known or anonymous sperm donors as the biological clock begins to pound. Perhaps they are like Morrissette, who divorced in her early 30s, wasn't in a hurry to jump into another relationship and decided to have kids on her own.

    While she and many other single mothers by choice can afford this option, David Popenoe worries about the example they're setting in a society where children still benefit most from married parents, he said.

    Other women might look at these single mothers by choice and say, "'So many people are doing it, why shouldn't I just go ahead?'" said Popenoe, founder and co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey. "It's part of a slippery slope."

    Janet Kaufman wasn't looking to influence anyone else; her personal decision, after loads of research, became a "practical matter."

    The University of Utah English professor was in her mid-30s, single and figured even if she met someone immediately it might be a couple years before she'd feel comfortable having a child with that man.

    Her parents offered encouragement. In fact her father proposed the idea of a donor. And her friends stepped up in ways she described as "just extraordinary."

    "I had some concerns and fears," said Kaufman, 44, who ended up marrying one year after she had a second child by the same anonymous donor. "But I felt like with the right kind of support ... somehow I would make it work."

    After her daughter's arrival came the question of how to discuss this situation with a child. She found her answer -- talk about it early and often -- through someone in the widespread network, Single Mothers by Choice.


    Kaufman began explaining before her daughter, and later son, could talk. She found books, bearing titles such as "A Family Like Yours," which she read frequently, and even penned a story of her own. She knew from the start that she would always be honest.

    "I'm sure they'll have a lot of feelings as they grow up, but I don't want it to be complicated by my not being open with them," she said. "In communicating with them about their origins, I'm also communicating with them about me -- the hopes I had, the dreams I had ... It's important for them to know how much they were wanted."

    __________________________________________________ ______

    Nearly 4 in 10 U.S. babies born out of wedlock - Pregnancy- msnbc.com

    Nearly 4 in 10 U.S. babies born out of wedlock
    Government report says hike happening despite steady drop in teen births
    Most popular


    updated 4:47 p.m. PT, Tues., Nov . 21, 2006
    ATLANTA - Out-of-wedlock births in the United States have climbed to an all-time high, accounting for nearly four in 10 babies born last year, government health officials said Tuesday.

    While out-of-wedlock births have long been associated with teen mothers, the teen birth rate actually dropped last year to the lowest level on record. Instead, births among unwed mothers rose most dramatically among women in their 20s.

    Experts said the overall rise reflects the burgeoning number of people who are putting off marriage or living together without getting married. They said it also reflects the fact that having a child out of wedlock is more acceptable nowadays and not necessarily the source of shame it once was.

    The increase in births to unwed mothers was seen in all racial groups, but rose most sharply among Hispanics. It was up among all age groups except youngsters ages 10 to 17.

    “A lot of people think of teenagers and unmarried mothers synonymously, but they are not driving this,” said Stephanie Ventura of the National Center for Health Statistics, a co-author of the report.

    Climbing number of C-sections
    The government also reported that the rate of births by Caesarean delivery continued to climb in 2005 to a record high, despite efforts by public health authorities to bring down the number.

    Many experts believe a large number of C-sections are medically unnecessary and done only for the convenience of the mother or her doctor.

    The government report includes information from 99 percent of U.S. birth certificates filed last year. The information for 2005 is considered preliminary, but officials said it is not expected to change much.

    About 4.1 million babies were born in the United States last year, up slightly from 2004. More than 1.5 million of those were to unmarried women; that is about 37 percent of the total. In 2004, about 36 percent of births were out of wedlock.

    Out-of-wedlock births have been rising since the late 1990s.


    Several factors may be contributing to the trend, said Dr. Yolanda Wimberly, an adolescent-medicine specialist at Atlanta’s Morehouse School of Medicine.

    More women in their 30s and 40s, hearing their biological clock, are choosing to give birth despite their single status. Younger women are not as worried about being unmarried, either, she added.

    “I think it’s more acceptable in society” to have a child without getting married, she said.


    Just because a mother is not married does not mean the father isn’t around, Ventura noted. She cited 2002 statistics that showed that about 20 percent of all new mothers under 20 were unmarried but living with the father at the time of the birth. That same was true of about 13 percent of all new mothers ages 20 to 24.

    According to census figures, the median age at first marriage was 27 for men and 25 for women last year, up from 23 and 20 in 1950. Meanwhile, the number of unmarried-couple households with children has been climbing, hitting more than 1.7 million last year, up from under 200,000 in 1970.

    More findings
    Other findings in the report:

    The birth rate among teenagers declined 2 percent in 2005, continuing a trend from the early 1990s. The rate is now about 40 births per 1,000 females ages 15 to 19. That is the lowest level in the 65 years for which a consistent series of rates is available.

    The U.S. teen birth rate is still the highest among industrialized countries.

    Births to women in their early 20s rose slightly, to 102 births per 1,000 women ages 20 to 24. Births to women in their late 20s — the most productive group in terms of childbirth — was about the same from the previous year, at about 116 per 1,000 women ages 25 to 29.

    The C-section rate rose to 30.2 percent of all births in 2005, an increase of 1 percentage point from the previous year. The rate has risen by nearly half since 1996.

    “It is clear that the procedure is being overused,” Tonya Jamois, president of the International Cesarean Awareness Network, said in a statement. ICAN is a California-based nonprofit organization focused on lowering C-section rates."




    What do you think has changed or is changing in society, weakening marriges? Teen pregnacies? Lax on social norms (or redefining)?

  2. #2
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Should say 4 out of 10 people are bastards.

    This is all the result of birth control. Birth control is a net negative for society for one simple reason: it makes people take sex less seriously, a sacred act in marriage, for procreation, with serious consequences both physically and emotionally.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    so?
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    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Should say 4 out of 10 people are bastards.

    This is all the result of birth control. Birth control is a net negative for society for one simple reason: it makes people take sex less seriously, a sacred act in marriage, for procreation, with serious consequences both physically and emotionally.
    I'm not sure I follow. Birth Control more than likely allows for people to take the risk of pregnancy less seriously, but then wouldn't there just be less kids, because of birth control?



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    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    This is all the result of birth control. Birth control is a net negative for society for one simple reason: it makes people take sex less seriously, a sacred act in marriage, for procreation, with serious consequences both physically and emotionally.
    Yah, I agree. You end up with a lot of... less socially desirable... people who won't take birth control, and the ones that are capable of restraint and pre-planning and get them not to have children. It's completely upside down.

    Wait... that's probably not what you meant. I just figured you wouldn't be talking about birth control being responsible for more uncontrolled pregnancies. Cause that's not the case outside the US (it's not the case in the US either, but... whatever.)

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    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I'm not sure I follow. Birth Control more than likely allows for people to take the risk of pregnancy less seriously, but then wouldn't there just be less kids, because of birth control?
    Birth control means people enter into sexual intimacy without building emotional intimacy. This leads to half-assed relationships, which are more likely to not end in marriage as who wants to commit to a half-assed relationship? These half-assed relationships can, however, persist.

    Plus, accidents can happen and women can unilaterally go off birth control pills and get pregnant, etc.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Yah, I agree. You end up with a lot of... less socially desirable... people who won't take birth control, and the ones that are capable of restraint and pre-planning and get them not to have children. It's completely upside down.

    Wait... that's probably not what you meant. I just figured you wouldn't be talking about birth control being responsible for more uncontrolled pregnancies. Cause that's not the case outside the US (it's not the case in the US either, but... whatever.)
    Oh, I'm talking more about people just having kids without getting married first. No one really wants to have bastards. They just settle.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Oh, I'm talking more about people just having kids without getting married first. No one really wants to have bastards. They just settle.
    I didn't see any mention of marriage in your post... but regardless, the concept of marriage is in decline and your view is archaic.

    Ironically, the responsible use of birth control would prevent what you are describing, and does. It's actually those that want marriage that are 'less responsible'. Probably relates to marriage being a blanket permission for kids, while those that do not want to get married need have more incentive to seek other ways of being 'responsible'.

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    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    I didn't see any mention of marriage in your post... but regardless, the concept of marriage is in decline and your view is archaic.
    Marriage is an important institution. It is responsible for our economic success and the promotion of capitalism-friendly middle-class virtues.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    Member lexiphanic's Avatar
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    I'm thinking this is more a response to high divorce rates (among other things, of course).

    People are waiting longer before getting hitched, if at all.

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