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  1. #1
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Exclamation Raccoon bites off perverts penis

    Raccoon bites off perverts penis

    A raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he was trying to rape the animal.

    Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified animal.

    "When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

    Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

    "He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off.

    "That's gone forever so there isn't going to be much for them to work with," said one friend.

    Austrian Times – Home > Around the World > Raccoon bites off perverts penis
    Haha, sorry I had to share this, it was too funny lol he got what he deserved.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Hey, BerberElla. Think now. Coulda happened to any of us.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Respect for the Raccoon, way to stand up for yourself. Seriously, wtf was that dude thinking?
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  4. #4
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Hey, BerberElla. Think now. Coulda happened to any of us.
    No it couldn't........hold on let me check something........WTF.......I think it must have, my penis is gone.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  5. #5
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    I thought raccoons only lived in North America.. ok so the story is pretty sad all round, but at least I now learned they were released in Russia and now live wild. How fun!

  6. #6
    The Unwieldy Clawed One Falcarius's Avatar
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    This thread made my day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I thought raccoons only lived in North America...
    They were but they got released, mostly over Central and Eastern Europe over the last century, much the same way the Gray Squirrels were earlier to the UK.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalassa View Post
    Oh our 3rd person reference to ourselves denotes nothing more than we realize we are epic characters on the forum.

    Narcissism, plain and simple.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Oopsie. Not meaning to kill the thread. I'm personally satisfied at the outcome. Poor little racoon.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #8
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    No it couldn't........hold on let me check something........WTF.......I think it must have, my penis is gone.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #9
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    Always court the animal first!

    Amateur mistake.

  10. #10
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Oh, great, it's the raccoon who was wearing the mask, but it's the human who gets punished. How unfair!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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