Death: What's the problem?

[Xander]

Oay serious question, what's the whole problem with death?

I keep seeing people claiming that a person cannot understand what happens at death and there's an intrinsic need for an afterlife for people's psychological wellbeing.. why?

I've always thought the same thing, when you're dead you're dead. It stops. Nothing happens. A total absence of you. You're not there, you're dead.

What's the problem with that?

[colmena]

I'm with you, Xander. Soil nourishment; that's better than any afterlife. Simple, practical, beautiful.

[Gen]

Pain, lost dreams, the psychological wellbeing of those who love you, and the unknown.

Have you ever tried to put yourself in the place of someone who loves you that you care about if you died? Its one of those empathy things.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by colmena

I'm with you, Xander. Soil nourishment; that's better than any afterlife. Simple, practical, beautiful.

Gee, I can't wait to put "Compost / Worm Fodder" on my resume!

Like Gen says, it's all about fear of loss [and thus fear of emotional pain].
For those who have been left behind, since the dead feel nothing.

Sometimes values take part in it.
(Some people feel they need to have "accomplished something" with their lives and suffer pain if they feel they haven't.)

[Jack Flak]

I had a dream last night about someone I loved possibly dying, and it sucked big time. Death is a pain in the ass, but as I've said, "if it didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent it." It's the key to the survival of the species above the individual. The cosmic joke.

[Xander]

Originally Posted by colmena

I'm with you, Xander. Soil nourishment; that's better than any afterlife. Simple, practical, beautiful.

Exactly. And a darn sight more likely than nirivana or whatever (sorry whatever).

Originally Posted by Gen

Pain, lost dreams, the psychological wellbeing of those who love you, and the unknown.

Have you ever tried to put yourself in the place of someone who loves you that you care about if you died? Its one of those empathy things.

Um I've lost people I love.. I do partially wish that I did believe I'd see them again. However I refuse to allow my own needs warp my perspective (well I'm at least going to try to be objective... I did say try...).

I refused to cry when I lost my mother because basically if she was still alive then she'd still be in pain and all because her son cannot let her go. I refuted that. I refused to crumble and instead I'm as happy as I can be about it. I knew her and that's what I hold dear. To try to pull her back or have her waiting around for me somewhere smells of selfishness to my nose.

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Gee, I can't wait to put "Compost / Worm Fodder" on my resume!

Well use a shovel dummy.. jeez you get it laminated so it won't spoil not so you can use it to clean out the garden!

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Like Gen says, it's all about fear of loss [and thus fear of emotional pain].
For those who have been left behind, since the dead feel nothing.

Sometimes values take part in it.
(Some people feel they need to have "accomplished something" with their lives and suffer pain if they feel they haven't.)

All I usually see is someone who wants more as pretty much everyone does. The question is, how much is enough?

[Xander]

Originally Posted by Jack Flak

I had a dream last night about someone I loved possibly dying, and it sucked big time. Death is a pain in the ass, but as I've said, "if it didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent it." It's the key to the survival of the species above the individual. The cosmic joke.

But no one comes up with something to believe in that explains say cancer in an irrational way and forms large groups on it (as far as I am aware). Sure death sucks, so what? There is a lot of suckage out there... you can't keep it all at bay especially not by closing your eyes and wishing real hard.

[colmena]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Gee, I can't wait to put "Compost / Worm Fodder" on my resume!

Oh joy, a purveyor of sarcasm.

Originally Posted by Jennifer

(Some people feel they need to have "accomplished something" with their lives and suffer pain if they feel they haven't.)

Sounds like they need a better grasp of autonomy. Knowing everything is in life is to better understand how we effect each other and the world around us. This kind of guilt deterrent is selfish.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Jack Flak

I had a dream last night about someone I loved possibly dying, and it sucked big time. Death is a pain in the ass, but as I've said, "if it didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent it." It's the key to the survival of the species above the individual. The cosmic joke.

Well, true.

It's the kick in the ass to get the old imperfected models off the conveyor belt so the new model can come into vogue.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Xander

I refused to cry when I lost my mother because basically if she was still alive then she'd still be in pain and all because her son cannot let her go. I refuted that. I refused to crumble and instead I'm as happy as I can be about it. I knew her and that's what I hold dear. To try to pull her back or have her waiting around for me somewhere smells of selfishness to my nose.

Actually, I'd cry because it hurts, not because I'd be saying I'd "want them back."
It's okay to express emotion, without it being any sort of demand or intellectual statement. It just "is."

I'd cry because I loved them, and now they're gone.

And then I'd get over it and move on with my life as best as I could.

btw, I'm sorry about your mom, but I'm glad you can see it as a positive thing.

All I usually see is someone who wants more as pretty much everyone does. The question is, how much is enough?

Again, I don't necessarily see that. I think fear of death is just part of being human and fearing pain, loss, disability, lack of control, whatever. Why deny it? Why pretend we're invulnerable? It's a lie.

I do agree that the most spiritual/strong people are those who learn to accept their death -- the fact that everything that has a beginning has an end, that there's a time for it all and then a gracefulness in allowing things to move on -- and thus use that bookend to frame their lives now even more brilliantly.

Death defines life. (see my tag: "Only in silence the word; only in dark the light; only in dying life; bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.")

You run from death? You'll be running from life too.