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  1. #11
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    I couldn't say it better than you have.
    What it comes down to is this: Do you want to be popular, or do you want to be true to yourself? If you are a T, the two are frequently mutually exclusive.

  2. #12
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    I couldn't say it better than you have.
    What it comes down to is this: Do you want to be popular, or do you want to be true to yourself? If you are a T, the two are frequently mutually exclusive.
    At the basic foundation, I agree with you.
    I used to think the exact same way, but what I found out as I have gotten older, and been exposed to people who are naturally diplomatic, I have learned that there are times when I should not speak the "cold hard truth" especially if it's actually not fact, but merely my opinion. In those times, I have learned it's not necessary to speak. I get more pleasure in being diplomatic and treating the other person the way I would want to be treated, than in spouting my critical comments which may cause who knows how much hurt - and for what good purpose?

    For instance, every one is complimenting someone's new hair do. I hate it. I either say nothing at all or I find something else to say that is still the truth, but not, "I hate it." What good would it do for her to know I hate her new do? Can she go to the hairdresser and get her hair put back the way it was? It just seems cruel to criticize at that point.

    In the pleasure I receive from being more diplomatic, I am being true to my new self.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    im waiting for the prequel, "why you need people"

  4. #14
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    @Mom
    right, but you've reinvented yourself to make yourself more socially acceptable. If other people weren't so sensitive, you wouldn't have to. You'd still be your true self.

  5. #15
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Maybe my old self was a witch.

  6. #16
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    ^ Witches are people too!

  7. #17
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    im waiting for the prequel, "why you need people"
    You often need their cooperation at work, if not in your social circles, and so it's not so much a matter of just "wanting to be popular" but wanting to get something done, or done a certain way. This has been my experience anyway.
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuranes View Post
    You often need their cooperation at work, if not in your social circles, and so it's not so much a matter of just "wanting to be popular" but wanting to get something done, or done a certain way. This has been my experience anyway.
    fair enough, but cooperation doesnt necessarily require them to like you, just respect you.

    anyways, even if they dont, there is always plenty of alternatives to asking nicely

  9. #19
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I think I want to read this.

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