What is a friend to you?

[The Ü™]

I'm asking from a philosophical point of view. In your own words, how do you define a friend?

I will not respond to this thread. I'm just interested in different viewpoints.

 

[Owl]

A friend is someone who shares your deepest concerns in common.

 

[Athenian200]

I'm asking from a philosophical point of view. In your own words, how do you define a friend?

I will not respond to this thread. I'm just interested in different viewpoints.

Someone with whom I enjoy conversations, share mutual interests, and whose perspectives I can relate to. And of course, them being able to say the same about me. It has to be mutual.

 

[Colors]

Someone I willingly spend time with to seek companionship.

Someone who will lend me an ear to listen to my problems- and be sympathetic- while also doling out the verbal smackdown when I'm totally in the wrong (and I can't see it). Someone with whom I'm comfortable returning this favor. Because we both know we've got each other's interests in mind. Tough love.

A friend is trustworthy.

 

[kyuuei]

That's the person I can punch in the face, yell at, get pissed, and any other crazy thing I can think up.. It's someone I'm never worried about losing in my life. I know they're always going to be there.. there's a deep sense of security in that. And whatever dumbass thing I do, I know they'll still be there when the dust settles. That's more important to me than anything else, is the loyalty. It's what sets friends from aquaintances.

 

[GZA]

Someone who I can just sit there comfortably with and have a good time. I was camping with my best friend of 9 years and we hardly even talked. We just sat, or walked around, and it was a lot of fun because we really don't even need to talk to eachother to have fun, we both just sort of get it, know what I mean? We don't even really agree on everything or have similar perosnalities, but our personalities click in a unique way where it all works perfectly.

Kyuuei's description is quite good on this one.

 

[Giggly]

A friend is someone who is supportive and desires what's best for you, and you for them.

 

[lastrailway]

I've answered in a similar thread at INTPc some time ago and it was then when I realised that I have the lowest standards ever regarding friendships.
People that I can have fun with and they don't wish to harm me in some way. And that's about all of it.

 

[ajblaise]

*goes to dictionary.com*

..I actually think this definition is nice and short and accurate:

"a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."

 

[Magic Poriferan]

For someone to be a friend, I must have gathered sufficient reason to believe that:

They want what is best for me.
They would put my needs higher than that of a stranger.
I can confide in them.
I can presume their honesty with me.
They want to have me as a friend (seems kind of obvious, and yet, none of the other factors actually guarantee this one).
And lastly, they must be able to understand me to some minor extent. I still can't define what the exact extent is, but it's a problem when someone wants to do all of the above things for you, but can't comprehend your personal goals.

For me, friends are rare. I would not expect anyone to be my friend if they doubted my capacity to meet the above requirements, just as I would be wary of befriending them.

 

[Giggly]

*goes to dictionary.com*

..I actually think this definition is nice and short and accurate:

"a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."

Nice. I wonder though, if this were between two people of the opposite gender, would this turn into romantic feelings?

 

[ajblaise]

Nice. I wonder though, if this were between two people of the opposite gender, would this turn into romantic feelings?

I think, if affection is involved, and they are both physically attracted to each other, there is a decent chance of those feeling developing, at least on one end of the relationship.

 

[Salomé]

*goes to dictionary.com*

..I actually think this definition is nice and short and accurate:

"a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."

That's an F friend. I prefer T friends. Someone who calls me on my shit. Who values the truth above the friendship. That's priceless, and rare.

 

[ajblaise]

That's an F friend. I prefer T friends. Someone who calls me on my shit. Who values the truth above the friendship. That's priceless, and rare.

You think a T can't have personal regard for someone and still call them out of their shit? Same with affection? (Though if there is affection involved there will be a possibly higher chance of them being less hard on each other)

 

[Salomé]

You think a T can't have personal regard for someone and still call them out of their shit? Same with affection? (Though if there is affection involved there will be a possibly higher chance of them being less hard on each other)

Sure, I'm just placing the emphasis on what's important to me, which wasn't covered by your def. I have mostly F friends, but I get sick of all the niceness.
Sometimes you just wanna hear it unvarnished, raw and real.

 

[01011010]

Sometimes you just wanna hear it unvarnished, raw and real.

Yes. I trust an individual that will give me blunt truth far more than flowery discourse.

Friends to me are select people I've gotten to know over a long period time. We share common interests, experiences, and an emotional connection. They never heckle me if I disappear (communication wise) for a month or more, and I them.

 

[Salomé]

Yes. I trust an individual that will give me blunt truth far more than flowery discourse.

Friends to me are select people I've gotten to know over a long period time. We share common interests, experiences, and an emotional connection. They never heckle me if I disappear (communication wise) for a month or more, and I them.

Must be an NT thing.

 

[soleil]

Someone genuine, loyal, and honest.

 

[Nonsensical]

someone who has their heart wired like your own.

 

[helen]

I consider someone a friend when:

We care about eachother's well being.

There is a high level of trust and comfortableness in the relationship.

We can and do talk about personal struggles and concerns.

We actively seek each other's company and conversation and our friendship exists independently of circumstances throwing us together.

I have often pondered what pre-existing conditions are necessary for these dynamics to come into play between me and another individual. Sometimes it seems so random, you go through life, meeting people, trying to be somewhat pleasant, and some folks just stick around while others don't. I'm not sure what makes the difference. *shrugs*

Another observation: friendship is not like family affection or romance or general benevolence. It has little survival value, but it is one of the things that makes survival most worthwhile.