User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 23

  1. #1
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    300

    Default Are you an advice giver? Do you like receiving advice?

    On the nature of advise. Those who seek it consistently and the other extreme, those who give advise whether it is asked for or not.blessAre you an advice giver? Do you like receiving advice?


    “On the receiving of unasked advice I would look at intentionality. Are they saying this because they are generally concerned? In which case their expressed sentiments can be overlooked or more easily digested. This versus a person you know is not genuine in which case it can come off as a slap across the face. Now how do you deal with them? I generally ignore them or as non-committal as possible. Because I know I am not going to change them. I can be a role model. Live up to my principles plus walk my path. In return I will let them continue to stumble and walk across their path."

    “Empathy is the gel of the human species. Without empathy and emotion we would be at constant war, I do not know if the human species could work together and if you say that is the current state of affairs, it is because we have not learned the art and skill of empathy, yet, in our home life, school as well as professional environment (yet). There is no emphasis in the school system we have as of now but a paradigm shift shall come . We are part of one. The empathy is the gel that binds us so that we can work together on mutually exclusive goals, yet get our independent needs met as well.”

    “One day we will awaken and understand the profound nature of empathy versus a projection of one’s own being thus to truly and with a sincerity learn to work with that person rather than putting up a roadblock of expressing, thus keeping a person in a painful condition far more than if they would but learn to work together in harmony as well understanding as in a symbiosis. Friend shall hold another hand but shan't rage, holler, humiliate, or have any given advice. When I experience a union of synergistic healing I am thankful and now I can breathe, relax and heal because another understood and allowed the needful venting. A friend who does possess some living enlightenment does know this fact. So some few gifted ones have awareness.”

  2. #2
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,024

    Default

    I like advice that is useful. to be useful, it must be relevant, and tell me something I didn't know. Ideally, it will take into account specifics of the situation, including what I already know and perhaps things I have already tried. If, for instance, I am looking for advice on what kind of tablet to buy, I don't appreciate someone sending me reviews of desktops, unless they accompany it with a strong case for why I shouldn't be buying a tablet to begin with. If I am looking for advice on how to deal with a personal loss, I don't appreciate advice that encourages something strongly against my nature ("go out and get drunk with your friends") or lists the half-dozen options I have already tried, without success.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #3
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,420

    Default

    I believe strongly in autonomy, so I don't think of advice as something to give or take with the expectation of it being followed. If someone asks for advice, I'll do my best, or if I ask for advice I'll listen to the responses. I try to frame advice by describing a problem and resolution that worked for me and let the person decide whether or not it applies to their life and situation.

    Context can impact the problem and solution in such a way that there aren't always simple answers. Sometimes there are simple principles that can be applied in a variety of ways based on different contexts.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    Likes MDP2525 liked this post

  4. #4
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    17,296

    Default

    I often seek other people's opinions. Advice is too strong a word though. As to me giving it to others I would say that I do but sparingly. If I do the person should probably listen.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    9,421

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I often seek other people's opinions. Advice is too strong a word though. As to me giving it to others I would say that I do but sparingly. If I do the person should probably listen.
    This. I'm pretty reluctant to give advice as time goes on. Most don't actually want it, aren't going to follow it or simply want to vent at someone. No thank you.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #6
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    This. I'm pretty reluctant to give advice as time goes on. Most don't actually want it, aren't going to follow it or simply want to vent at someone. No thank you.
    Very true. I rarely say things. I only may get to the point if the person is in the same place months later and I am still listening. So I might say something eventually but I don't really expect it to be heard. Sometimes it is though. And if someone explicitly asks I will give my thoughts.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  7. #7
    Black Rose Krim13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,407

    Default

    I can and have given advice based off rationale or caution.. nowadays, idk. I haven't had much opportunity to bother.

    Otherwise, I am the one seeking opinions to add to my own thought process if need be. Maybe I'll come to a greater understanding or notice something.
    "A life that lives without doing anything is the same as a slow death." - Lelouch Vi Britannia

    Alignment: True Neutral/Chaotic Neutral (Rational Neutral - Rebel Neutral)

    Eclectic Oddball, that I am

  8. #8
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,364

    Default

    I usually try to get someone to explain things and then try to put myself in the situation in my head or recall a time I've been through it myself. I find it's often just a matter of listening and asking questions. Just by bringing a different mind into the process allows them to think with renewed flexibility. A lot of times people become stuck in a particular pattern of thought. Kind of like driving by the same location so often you always focus on the same things. Then one day you bring a friend and they notice things that you never have, things that were there the entire time. So often times I don't supply advice but help people redirect to find the answers. Sometimes attempting to advise someone is like trying to help a mountain become a tree. No advice will budge the person from their ways.

    The funny thing is I'm awful at receiving advice. I politely listen but seldom follow it. Of course I don't usually ask for any in the first place. I think it's usually out of not wanting to bother someone as opposed to believing I'm above advice. I seldom ask friends for any help really. It can be a weakness I suppose.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

    As per orders of the No likes experiment I am not liking posts for the duration.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Crystal Winter Dream's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI Fe
    Posts
    797

    Default

    I seek other people's opinions if I feel very close to them, otherwise I prefer to be independent. This other opinion is usually my own mother.
    I rarely ask for advice, usually I try to vent my frustrations on something and then people try to GIVE me advice that I did not ask for. XD Sometimes it IS helpful but other times I am like "stop."

    As for me, I have had a lot of people in my time ask me for advice. I get upset though when people ask me for help and then ignore my suggestions entirely, or it is useless to their final assessment. I probably shouldn't be that way, but it feels like you wasted my time when you don't follow through on any suggestions. If people are arguing, I usually become this magic center median to try and resolve the conflict. It becomes really stressful if it is a heated fight though. Particularly with two emotional people who are name calling each other now and trying to get it back in hand. Then they both get mad at you for being an unbias mediator. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT.

    this turned into a vent of stop making me mediate your relationship drama. XD

  10. #10
    Senior Member tchudak's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    144

    Default

    I have no problem giving advice because I like to analyze pretty much anything, so I don't mind analyzing a situation and giving advice to someone, but if the person just want to vent instead of actually listening to what I say, then I just stop trying to contribute.
    ''I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal" - Groucho Marx

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO