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  1. #91
    Senior Member Lucifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Experience has taught me that I'd have to or live the rest of my life with unbelievable hurt and rage. And I don't care to haul that kinda load around with me.

    No one has control over, or responsibility for, my emotions but me, after all. Inconvenient fact, but true. Otherwise I am at the mercy of every mean-spirited person in the world. And I don't care to give people free rent in my head and heart.

    More, Uber. You've overlooked my question about valuing peace of mind.
    The truth of the matter is that the initial reaction you have is what you should stand by (except for obvious exceptions: find out later (s)he didn`t do something). Your initial reaction represents you, when you overthink such a thing you are in fact breaking down who you are to make exceptions for who you are. Forgiveness is the ultimate surrender of who you are, it is accepting something that you don`t believe and have convinced yourself is ok. Don`t forgive, don`t regret and don`t forget who you really are.
    This world is mine - in time.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacuss View Post
    This is one of those platitudes that had an air of plausibility when I was your age but whose b.s. now never fails to irritate the fuck out of me.
    Rest assured, hatred of a thing or person need not "come from" any form of love whatsoever. Sure, indifference is no more the opposite of love than it is of hate, since both loving and hating are a form of caring. Injection of the concept of indifference here is little more than a hokey escape hatch.
    Actually, disregard's statement is a valid concept in the mental health business. Your statement is a personal opinion.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #93
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
    The truth of the matter is that the initial reaction you have is what you should stand by (except for obvious exceptions: find out later (s)he didn`t do something). Your initial reaction represents you, when you overthink such a thing you are in fact breaking down who you are to make exceptions for who you are. Forgiveness is the ultimate surrender of who you are, it is accepting something that you don`t believe and have convinced yourself is ok. Don`t forgive, don`t regret and don`t forget who you really are.
    No need to "overthink," Lucifer. I am speaking about my own experience and what I've learned I need to do.

    As an INFP, I learned the hard way not to act on my impulsivity. Then, I guess, most everybody does the same.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #94
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Actually, disregard's statement is a valid concept in the mental health business. Your statement is a personal opinion.
    Well, that appeal to questionable authority settles it. It pleases me that you cited it as a business.

    Lots of concepts are "valid" without being accurate. You can create a concept around precious little. (pssst... It is also mere opinion.) This is why they are compared to people's "personal" experiences and debunked where appropriate.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  5. #95
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post



    You spelled guarantee wrong.
    Thanks for the reminder. Better get your grammar perfect from now on, kid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacuss View Post
    Well, that appeal to questionable authority settles it. It pleases me that you cited it as a business.

    Lots of concepts are "valid" without being accurate. You can create a concept around precious little. (pssst... It is also mere opinion.) This is why they are compared to people's "personal" experiences and debunked where appropriate.
    Doesn't matter, it's still your personal opinion and not a directive. But I'm not here to argue about arguing. . .

    Waiting for Jennifer to get us back on track. . .
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #96
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Doesn't matter, it's still your personal opinion and not a directive. But I'm not here to argue about arguing. . .
    But they are all opinions. And you know what they say opinions are like.

    Do you mean to submit that it is a consensus in the mental health business - contrary to my "personal opinion" - that hatred comes from love?

    I'm trying to get the point of your pointing out that my observation is my "personal opinion".
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
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  7. #97
    Senior Member Lucifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    No need to "overthink," Lucifer. I am speaking about my own experience and what I've learned I need to do.

    As an INFP, I learned the hard way not to act on my impulsivity. Then, I guess, most everybody does the same.
    I was suggesting the opposite of what you believe. and it is why I explained my reasoning. I was aware of your willingness to forgive and was trying to give an example of my perspective on the matter. I also understand that you have learned to forgive as a defense through experience. When I have forgiven someone it is only because someone has twisted my arm. I have an immense feeling of cheating myself when this occurs.This was merely the point I was trying to elaborate, to not cheat yourself.
    This world is mine - in time.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Actually, disregard's statement is a valid concept in the mental health business.
    No wonder psychology is still considered pseudoscience.

  9. #99
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    *Anja INFP-like awards "The Last Word" trophy to her conversants.*
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #100
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    lol i figured that quote would piss some people off. he might be dead but he did a crapload for india and didn't raise a single fist/weapon. like it or not, anything can be forgiven. that doesn't mean not punish though.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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