It was like 6 years ago, I have been attending for the last time in my religion class. The teacher we had, everybody loved. He gave good grades and was a man of the people. Pretty sure he was ENFP. On every party we had, when a class made their exam, he was given the "golden toilet brush" that was given to the best teachers. His teaching were like this: he presented a topic, we started arguing in class. He delivered inputs until the point, when all input was met. Like for example abortion, you reach a point in a discussion, when you have two sides with good arguments and when you are stuck and need to decide for one side. Everytime that happened, he presented the religious view and it often naturally gave explanation to the things.
Well he hated me. In every exam he denounced me with bad grades. Never had something else than a 4 that is on a scale from 1(good) to 5(failed) and 6(dumbass). He once gave me a 3- didnt know if he wanted to provoke me.
Then I had my final exam. In germany you choose 5 topics in 13th grade. With me it was physics, math, biology, english and religion. It is not a free choice, the topics need to be of certain fields. Like for example philosophy or religion as society science. I scored in religion 1 out of 15 points. That is a 5- and had it been 0 points I would have failed my whole exam.
I have no problems with people. I get along with everyone, you can get along with. At least it is not my impression that I am difficult. So I did not understand, why that man hated me so much. By the time in school, I was living my life like Jesus. Until today I have never cheated on any human, I am god damn proud of. I have not killed someone. I try not to destroy life, I try to make life. And I try to protect the innocent. So what was so different in my beliefs about religion ?
In school I have been a sample child. Did my work, was a great and easy boy and I was dependable. After school, as it is with all great boys, I collapsed my wavefunction. I started heavy drinking and ended up with pot. Never did any hard drugs though. By that time, I needed to choose my field in university and I choosed religion, because that question from school so much bugged me. I got into that for one year and never really attended any classes and eventually after this bad year, I recovered, became healthier and started to study engineering, what I have by now finished with a B.Sc. and still work on my M.Sc.
It was not my teachers fault, I wasted this year. That was a natural thing, I needed for my personal development. That I choosed religion was out of a spontaneous idea, I had when I subscribed.
I just need to know to understand, why I could be that far away from religion, even if I think I am not.
In my eight thread I have posted:
Another view on the 8
While ones are sample childs, eights are bad boys. Their self-perception is: "I am upsetting". And they even like it to be "upsetting". One can imagine, how much problems eights have with church, where you are told: "Be nice and honest and good and pious". That makes no sense to an eight. The good guys are to eights sissies or cowards.
An eight woman explained, she needed 40 years to develop confidence in Jesus. Because like Jesus was portraied - as blond, blue-eyed softie, who looks down smilieing on children - he did not tell her anything. This Jesus was not worth of her loving. Eights need someone, who get with them engaged into an altercation.
Eights do have, by factory design, a sense for justice. They see the dumbness and injustice in the world and they love to unmask it. They want to put mischief down. Without the eight the world would probably never change. One would get along with the dumbest systems.
This is a crucial thing that is part of my personality.
If you have read this now, thank you for doing so and something else. I do not want to be analyzed. I am looking for the thing that could make someone religious or better what it is that defines religion.
To come to the definite answer, why I am so far off with religion.
I guess "definite answers", is a good word to start with...