User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 14

  1. #1
    . Blank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Posts
    1,202

    Default Are We Just Shit at Death?

    Are We Just Shit at Death? | VICE | United States

    In 2014, a survey by the spine-tinglingly titled Dying Matters Coalition discovered that 80 percent of people felt that death is an uncomfortable subject to discuss, and that only 21 percent of British adults had discussed their end of life wishes with another person. A similar survey in California found that 76% of respondents had not planned their end-of-life wishes, despite recognizing the importance of doing so.
    I feel like this article hits right on the nose about some things. How many of you have had end-of-life discussions with your loved ones?

    It's gotten me into thinking that in Western society (speaking as an American,) we don't do a great job at reconciling ourselves with death--we don't talk to our loved ones, we don't plan for it adequately, we just like to think "out of sight, out of mind." We sweep away our old people into nursing homes like dust under a rug and spend billions prolonging our suffering leading to the inevitable. Most people want to die in their homes, yet most spend the last few months of their lives linked up to expensive machines for weeks in a hospital before they exit the stage.

    Makes me wonder how I'll end up. Will I make it into old age? If I do, would I have the wherewithal to stubbornly die in my own home and refuse medical treatment?
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ni = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    -----------------
    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand
    Likes Julius_Van_Der_Beak liked this post

  2. #2
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,984

    Default

    I have no interesting talking to my parents about it. I'll have a note on my computer that can be accessed. If I did talk about it they'd both get huffy over things (but very different things) and I'd ultimately see it as non-productive.

    TBH I don't all that much care what happens when I am dead. I won't exist anymore, and therefore be unable to fret or be concerned with what's going on. As such, it's just kinda pointless to care beyond divving up personal belongings and such, which can easily be done on paper.

    As for conditions, if I am paralyzed, suffer TBI, or are in anyway rendered insufficient to function more or less as I do now, I will not want to live, and I have instructions to take me somewhere for assisted scuicide, and I have explicitly pointed out to bar ALL of my family from having any say, because all of them will want to keep me alive for their own personal reasons. Nuh uh, that's not happening.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

    Likes robowolf, Cellmold liked this post

  3. #3
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    4,805

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Blank View Post
    Are We Just Shit at Death? | VICE | United States



    I feel like this article hits right on the nose about some things. How many of you have had end-of-life discussions with your loved ones?

    It's gotten me into thinking that in Western society (speaking as an American,) we don't do a great job at reconciling ourselves with death--we don't talk to our loved ones, we don't plan for it adequately, we just like to think "out of sight, out of mind." We sweep away our old people into nursing homes like dust under a rug and spend billions prolonging our suffering leading to the inevitable. Most people want to die in their homes, yet most spend the last few months of their lives linked up to expensive machines for weeks in a hospital before they exit the stage.

    Makes me wonder how I'll end up. Will I make it into old age? If I do, would I have the wherewithal to stubbornly die in my own home and refuse medical treatment?
    Remember that this is a fairly recent phenomenon. People used to be reminded of their dead relatives and their own mortality when they saw the church graveyard every Sunday.

    There is a fascinating short story by Wendell Berry about a boy who "steals" his grandfather from the hospital and takes him to his old barn to die as he wished. I might try to dig it up later. I'm not a fan of prolonging the inevitable with pointless intervening treatment, but I'm also conscious of the fact that any direct act that leads to death is murder.
    Take the weakest thing in you
    And then beat the bastards with it
    And always hold on when you get love
    So you can let go when you give it

  4. #4
    Senior Member Doomkid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Blank View Post
    "out of sight, out of mind."
    yeah, I just started to wonder why do I have the grim reaper like my avatar picture if ...I don't like death very much?

  5. #5
    Super Ape Luke O's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    954
    Posts
    1,742

    Default

    I'm talking to my 5 year old daughter about death regularly. Her grandparents on mum's side had a dog that recently died, so had to explain that. Plus same grandparents are in their seventies, and said grandad has type 2 diabetes that he doesn't even try to manage (apart from insulin) and still puffs away on cigars, so there's a chance it could be any day soon that he dies.

  6. #6
    . Blank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Posts
    1,202

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Doomkid View Post
    yeah, I just started to wonder why do I have the grim reaper like my avatar picture if ...I don't like death very much?
    I'm going to assume this is sarcasm. As such, I will rebut your comment with:

    Death, skulls, and the grim reaper in a way have been fetishized. To me, it seems like while these things obviously represent death, the way people use these images is pretty far from actually representing death. Instead, people want to seem like a "badass" and use images that would shock others into taking them more seriously since few people would actively confront the concept of mortality. I mean, how often do you see someone with skull tattoos, a Tom Hardy shirt, or something of the like? Then how often do you think, "Holy shit, this sonuvagun is dangerous?" It's just a front. To be frank, I don't really take these people seriously. They just remind me of middle school atheists who shun religion just to piss off their parents.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ni = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    -----------------
    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand

  7. #7
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    PORG
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    9,049

    Default

    I think the Irish and the Mexicans have a much healthier attitude towards death than Americans do. I'd love to expand on this, but I'm writing on my phone.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  8. #8
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,968

    Default

    I want a sky burial.

    I somehow doubt that'll happen in the US of A
    Likes Julius_Van_Der_Beak liked this post

  9. #9
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,132

    Default

    I have a living will set out and have discussed it's terms with the people who I have chosen to make decisions on my behalf... not that I'm giving them many choices to make since I went out of my way to try and be as specific as possible as to what conditions I want to be left to die in and what conditions I want to be left living under. I've also already done up all of the paperwork for donating my body to science and turned it in... work has a good program for end of life preparation and all of that legal stuff, so I took advantage of it (as did the man since he's my benefits +1)

    a coworker and I were discussing the warped view that the average american seems to have about death and funerals a while back while we were discussing that our families both tend to prefer funny eulogies and have big pitch in neighborhood parties after the funeral. it's a celebration of the fact that the person lived, not a mourning-fest of the fact that they're now dead... be happy you knew them! it's doubtful that they'd want everyone to be all depressed on their account

    of course, my family has always had an odd love of hanging out in cemeteries and picnicking there and such anyway (to the point where I'm getting ready to schedule a cemetery tour with my dad's side of the family for the summertime!)... they're all countryfolk going back for centuries, so there's probably a stronger tie to birth and death when you live close to livestock
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #10
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    2w5 sx
    Posts
    5,782

    Default

    Honestly I've never been that scared of death. Even if there is no afterlife, we will go to the way things were before we existed. There were billions of years before me, and I don't remember any of them being particularly unpleasant, so why would the ones after me be scary?

    I think that Americans are just likely on a whole to put off on thinking about death and living their lives, of course the occasional question comes up to them, but for the healthy person I really do not think that they let thoughts of death control their here and now.

    But I do suppose that if people are going to wonder about anything they would wonder about death. I mean it is the mysterical place where EVERYONE is headed, no exceptions.

Similar Threads

  1. Despite All Our Rage: Are We Still Just...
    By Cloudpatrol in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-14-2017, 03:07 AM
  2. Are we culturally just the product of our physical environment ?
    By Virtual ghost in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-15-2016, 11:33 AM
  3. [INFP] What skills are we best at than other types?
    By INFPtheQuietOne in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 05-20-2015, 07:24 PM
  4. [SJ] Are we the best at driving vehicles?
    By istj86 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 11-28-2011, 08:19 PM
  5. We are, all of us, at a hypothetical party! :D
    By Nillerz in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 01-17-2009, 01:02 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO