Do you think the developed world is over-sexualised?

[Chthonic]

I wasn't sure where to put this. At first I thought the adult forum, but actually I'm wanting to discuss more the effect on society rather than the act itself. If it's in the wrong place, by all means, please move it.

Do you consider this blatant emphasis on sex in our society is an issue or not? Do you think it makes people more focused on materialism and hedonism and less focused on higher ideals? Or do you just think it's an innocuous thing, completely harmless and a natural part of the human psyche?

For me personally, while I see it as a natural human process of affection, I do think it's over-used as a motivation in our society. I think it puts a lot of undue pressure on people to perform by being seen as desirable, successful and worthy in terms of this one human activity, rather than in terms of other activities. There seems to be this implicit ideal that one is successful when one has money and a desirable partner. I think it's what drives people to post thousands of selfies all over the internet, in a bid to receive attention and be compared to others doing the same thing. Online dating becomes a competitive process of attempting to procure the most popular person or the most msgs to an Inbox. And I think most damaging of all, it distracts people from finding growth and achievement by failing to reach for ideals beyond just these two things.

I've been doing a lot of internal processing lately, and this subject has come for me, hence my various competing thoughts on the subject. But I'm interested in how others view this too.

 

[Obsidius]

I think it's a problem when a sexualised actress/actor or singer gets a massive amount of success by exploiting their sexual appeal, but there are those in the same profession making less money and getting less recognition, despite them being arguably far more talented.

 

[á´…eparted]

I don't think it's a problem. In reality though, it's more that I just don't care.

So long as I am not forced to expected to act sexualized then it's "meh" to me.

 

[linear_ringlets]

I think it's a problem when a sexualised actress/actor or singer gets a massive amount of success by exploiting their sexual appeal, but there are those in the same profession making less money and getting less recognition, despite them being arguably far more talented.

I agree with the premise of the OP, and with this.

One of the things that bugs me is the expectation other women are supposed to support female celebs who are scantily clad as a selling point. KimK did it, Ariana Grande's now doing it, etc. When we as women aren't supporting it, we're anti-feminist, pro-evil "patriarchy", and what other crap.

 

[21%]

Do you consider this blatant emphasis on sex in our society is an issue or not? Do you think it makes people more focused on materialism and hedonism and less focused on higher ideals? Or do you just think it's an innocuous thing, completely harmless and a natural part of the human psyche?

Yes and no on all questions, I guess. I believe there are people who are self-aware, who will not fall prey to materialism no matter how much it's promoted. I also think there are people who are not self-aware, who will be very affected and will try to emulate what they see on the media. I think it's more important to teach young people to be self-aware and know real self-worth from the beginning.

 

[Nicodemus]

Considering that, as animals on earth, our only purpose in life is to procreate, I would say the developed world in particular is almost comically desexualized.

 

[INTP]

Yes, and i think it fucks up people, some more than others.

 

[Qlip]

I don't feel so much that the 'developed world' is over-sexualized, since sex is a large part of the human experience. I just feel like I feel like most other things blaring in my face, that it's blaring in my face and I get bored by it, and enforcing an image of any human experience in the way that we do, in the attempt to mass sell something must have harmful effects.

 

[indra]

Considering that, as animals on earth, our only purpose in life is to procreate, I would say the developed world in particular is almost comically desexualized.

 

[five sounds]

i have a lot of thoughts about this topic.

sex itself of course is, at worst, neutral. it's a part of humanity and a beautiful part of it.

culturally, i understand the importance of it as well. it's a universal and it's intimate as hell. it can connect people through art or discussion. it can help a young person or a person in an oppressive enviornment feel understood and validated.

commercially, however, is where i start to have a huge problem. when natural human sexual desires are exploited in order to market products on a large scale, there is a very negative shift. now those same young people who need to see and hear about sexuality in order to understand their own are given a message that they are an object. or that sex is this glamorous, heightened experience that is to be desired above all else. that sex makes you happy, cool, loved, respected, desirable. and those are all lies. those are lies that our culture tells us to prey on our basic desires and turn them into insecurities, into a drive to consume products to obtain it or whatever glory it promises.

and that's the fucked up part to me.

 

[Lark]

I think it is what it is.

There's other things in life and I dont even think that sex is the most important, the way the culture and social attitudes have fixated on sex is a little like some pre-adolescent which has heard big things but is yet to have sufficient experience to tell the reality from the fantasy.

So I think there's too much fantasising and fixating, part of its sexual, a lot of its other things too, I think capitalism, libertarianism, trying to validate minorities through constant reform of anything displeasing them are fantasies too, examples of the same shit.

 

[Coriolis]

I don't think it's a problem. In reality though, it's more that I just don't care.

So long as I am not forced to expected to act sexualized then it's "meh" to me.

I think expectations for women in this regard are much stronger, especially in superficial matters like dress, appearance, and casual social behavior. Women who do not follow suit can be judged quite harshly, even/especially by other women. This judgment can serve as a forcing function, especially when something important is tied to it like one's livelihood.

commercially, however, is where i start to have a huge problem. when natural human sexual desires are exploited in order to market products on a large scale, there is a very negative shift. now those same young people who need to see and hear about sexuality in order to understand their own are given a message that they are an object. or that sex is this glamorous, heightened experience that is to be desired above all else. that sex makes you happy, cool, loved, respected, desirable. and those are all lies. those are lies that our culture tells us to prey on our basic desires and turn them into insecurities, into a drive to consume products to obtain it or whatever glory it promises.

I agree with this. Exploiting sexuality in this manner is just emotional manipulation.

Considering that, as animals on earth, our only purpose in life is to procreate, I would say the developed world in particular is almost comically desexualized.

You're funny. As if sexuality could ever be decoupled from procreation.

 

[Blank]

I think about this topic kind of often too. It's kind of hard for me to articulate my thoughts clearly on this, but if you'll bear with me, I'll try to explain my response as concisely as I can.


I think, for the most part, the developed world is sexually repressed. This repression in turn causes sexual frustration which creates a demand for sexual stimulation; however, much of this stimulation is based upon releasing the sexual tension. To do so, a person is likely to look at an object of desire--not as a person, but as an object. When people cease being people and become objects, it becomes pornography. Idols aren't people. They're objects. What we do to celebrities by taking away their personhood seems more pornographic to me than a hardcore film, but I digress from this tangent.

What's worse is that if what one desires is considered taboo or even if it's just outside of the norm, it can create a lot of psychological stress, damage, and baggage for that person. These people can become even more repressed, more obsessed, and even more sexually frustrated, especially when they are bombarded with 'pornographic' images that don't appeal to their base nature. Many people in this group can come to resent themselves and/or others because of how highly sexual normalcy is placed upon our society's pedestal. For those interested, there's a really interesting VICE report (coming out) about gay conversion centers here.




Maybe I can refine my thoughts into this statement: I think the developed world's notion of sex and sexuality is unhealthy. Perhaps it's not over-sexualization, but "pornogrification," or objectification of both sex and people that's the problem, so spreading the idea of unhealthy sex can qualify as being over-sexualized for this thread.

 

[kyuuei]

Maybe I can refine my thoughts into this statement: I think the developed world's notion of sex and sexuality is unhealthy. Perhaps it's not over-sexualization, but "pornogrification," or objectification of both sex and people that's the problem, so spreading the idea of unhealthy sex can qualify as being over-sexualized for this thread.

This. Exactly this.

~~~

I don't think people typically, as a society, ever get sex truly right. Individuals seem to.. but then when we pull together, we come up with some crazy shit--like we can show butts and boobs galore as long as we don't show nipples and assholes, we can see men raping women but no females having pleasurable sex plz. We cannot show ankles and must be covered, but we'll marry and must be 'bedded' when we marry a man twice our age and barely out of childhood (I'm looking at you ancient rulers of the world). We should hook up and expect people to have sex before marriage, but if we're discovered we're suddenly whores. I never understood why society drew the lines it drew.. ever. I still don't.

There was always something attractive to me about shows with these.. other civilizations lost, in another universe, planet, etc. where they are openly sexual without being bananas about it. Like it's a natural force not to be ashamed of, but still to be done with some responsibility. As a teenager, one of the biggest things that drew me to Paganism and Wicca was the freedom of TALKING about sex as if it was something awe-inspiring, wonderful, and useful to us both physically and spiritually beyond procreation or damnation of what-ifs and what-could-be's. It gave a great amount of weight in the responsibility of it, without shoving fire and brimstone down my throat, and also giving me a lot of hope of enjoying myself, and my partner. I was pretty thankful for that, and I still honor a lot of Wiccan schools of thought to this day merely because my roots in my sexuality started there. I was pretty lost before then.

Do I think it's oversexualized? Yes. But not because the sex being shown is bad.. because the way they portray it is awful. Boobs are sex objects, and it's disgusting to see a mom breast feeding somehow in America? In Uganda they never gave it a second thought.. and no one just stared down a woman breastfeeding a kid--except my immature american buddies. Yet in America as long as they're shown for the pleasure of others it's fine. I don't see why the nipple is such an oversexualized part that needs protecting somehow as if the whole figure isn't a part of that. There is something dangerous about this very random emotional picking and choosing of what is acceptable or not on others. Why two women kissing on an award show is cool and risky and hot, but two men probably would not risk it. We show sex on TV on the daily.. but we don't want our children exposed to it somehow, as if they haven't been getting subtle signals for ages now. (In the show Vikings, it was a funny point in the show for the kid to say to his Uncle 'Oh, yeah.. they're not available right now, they're having sex.' so bluntly. But it is actually, to me, a really healthy thing. I think this stupid drama where kids are 'traumatized' by their parents partaking in sex is so silly and part of the prudish perversion pick-and-choose mentality that actually hurts everyone.) I cannot quite explain it, but I find it harmful and degrading for everyone the general atmosphere of the way people treat sex as a whole. And, usually, I find people are much much more reasonable as individuals.. yet in group settings it all goes bananas.

... However. I will say I prefer the way we have things now to puritan thoughts of women needing to cover up, men not being able to hold hands with each other, etc. etc.

So in short. I am all for memes. I think they are truth telling, tiny snapshots of the state of mind on situations and they offer a lot of insight into situations. I like them, and generally support them even if the message is stupid. I particularly like SJW memes.

 

[draon9]

No, the world is full of perverts

 

[Luke O]

Hmm. I'm thinking about breasts.

You know those parts of women's anatomies which evolved to feed babies, with a secondary function of being sexually alluring to others? In our world, it's not seen as a secondary function any more.

I've met a few new mothers who refused to breastfeed because they think it's wrong, dirty, disgusting because they see their own breasts as sex objects above anything else. I know formula milk is good but it still doesn't compare to the real thing. Is this culture harming our children?

 

[Frosty]

No not particularly. Sex is a natural biological function that I think just changes along with the times. Early civilizations had their own unique forms of it, their own restrictions, and their own processes, and as development occured and measures of acceptability changed, so did the degrees of sexualization.

So I think that more or less that the levels in different civilizations are appropriately fluxuating- there is a certain unstated distinct window of standards that suits.

 

[Poki]

People assign more to sex then they should. It's fun, enjoyable, feels good, creates a connection, etc. Its not immoral, status quo, make you a man, etc. To each their own, it's something between the people involved, not the world. Issue is it has been risen to a "this is how all of society should see sex" level instead of a to each their own and moved to a "social" level. It's overly controlled which makes it overly exploited.

 

[ceecee]

I think about this topic kind of often too. It's kind of hard for me to articulate my thoughts clearly on this, but if you'll bear with me, I'll try to explain my response as concisely as I can.


I think, for the most part, the developed world is sexually repressed. This repression in turn causes sexual frustration which creates a demand for sexual stimulation; however, much of this stimulation is based upon releasing the sexual tension. To do so, a person is likely to look at an object of desire--not as a person, but as an object. When people cease being people and become objects, it becomes pornography. Idols aren't people. They're objects. What we do to celebrities by taking away their personhood seems more pornographic to me than a hardcore film, but I digress from this tangent.

What's worse is that if what one desires is considered taboo or even if it's just outside of the norm, it can create a lot of psychological stress, damage, and baggage for that person. These people can become even more repressed, more obsessed, and even more sexually frustrated, especially when they are bombarded with 'pornographic' images that don't appeal to their base nature. Many people in this group can come to resent themselves and/or others because of how highly sexual normalcy is placed upon our society's pedestal. For those interested, there's a really interesting VICE report (coming out) about gay conversion centers here.




Maybe I can refine my thoughts into this statement: I think the developed world's notion of sex and sexuality is unhealthy. Perhaps it's not over-sexualization, but "pornogrification," or objectification of both sex and people that's the problem, so spreading the idea of unhealthy sex can qualify as being over-sexualized for this thread.

This and especially the bolded.

 

[Poki]

On the same note. I feel bad when someone hooks up and doesn't get as much or the sex they want. Just as i feel bad when someone does not get the social interaction they want. Or whatever else they want. Its all about finding people who mesh in regard to what's enjoyed the most in life, not judging people on what they enjoy.

As someone who has went through periods...months and months...of having sex 3, 4, 5 times a day I am far from materialistic, hedonistic, and all the other things people pin on those who like sex. I still have a life outside of sex. It's actually the people who lack what they want that cause more issues, not the people who are content and happy. Prefer binge sex to binge TV watching.