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  1. #41
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Hypothesis confirmed: Bully.

    What do you know about anything? You like to poke and prod for weak points, but I don't buy your rationalization that this is because you're that kind and generous of a person. I think it stems from personal insecurity, frankly. You did this starting from one of the very first posts I made here. I'm not going to listen to life advice from such a person. I accept advice from people who I deem trustworthy, who actually demonstrate good intentions and good faith. These include family members, lovers, real-life pals and cyber buddies. You are not one of those people.

    Folks like you do an excellent job of confirming the need for emotional distance to begin with.You kind of help to reinforce what myself and others were saying about complete emotional openness not being a good thing, or at least not a workable way to live.

    This is the last time I'm going to be honest with you. Future attempts to convert me to what you think will "save me" will produce only mockery.
    Ad hominem attacks are a psychological defence that ensure psychological survival at the expense of a thriving psyche.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The problem is that as we maintain our psychological defences, we feel comfortable with those who also maintain their psychological defences, and after a while it seems natural, second nature. And it becomes a vicious circle, just as we become emotionally vicious and emotionally cruel.
    If you're going to spew the omnipotent Molosophy, at least check your conclusions for logic.

    This:

    "And it becomes a vicious circle, just as we become emotionally vicious and emotionally cruel."

    Does not logically follow this:

    "The problem is that as we maintain our psychological defences, we feel comfortable with those who also maintain their psychological defences, and after a while it seems natural, second nature."

  3. #43
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Ad hominem attacks are a psychological defence that ensure psychological survival at the expense of a thriving psyche.
    Perhaps then, instead of wasting my time on forums devoted to psuedoscience, I should start working on acquiring orgone energy. I should build an accumulator. I should be careful not to sell it to people, though, I could get busted for fraud.

    Maybe I can also use my orgone accumulator to get a snow day on Monday. I haven't had any this year.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar
    If you're going to spew the omnipotent Molosophy, at least check your conclusions for logic.
    I think if I could follow the train of thought in a Mole post, I'd worry that he'd been replaced by pod people.

    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee
    I agree with that. And it isn't about treating/being treated badly. I treat people very well, it just doesn't come along with an emotional response or cause me to have empathy to the point of feeling their misery myself. But I have heard that I need to change the way I think and approach things, in terms of emotions, my entire life. *shrug*
    Ditto; it may have been even worse for you. I don't see the utility in changing my approach, and at best, I find it annoying that some people are so set on getting me to do so. I tend to mistrust their motivations and am inclined to think they really don't have my best interests at heart. This is usually how I feel when someone proposes a "path" or "advice" and can't stand the idea of me questioning that, not that they really address any of my criticisms. The most positive spin I can put on it is that they're just like to go on about things they know nothing about because they like the way such advice "sounds."
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78
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  4. #44
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Our Royal Commission into Child Abuse has shown that flat affect is result of child abuse.

    This is a tragedy but it is very wide spread and can only be accounted for by child rearing practices.

  5. #45
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Our Royal Commission into Child Abuse has shown that flat affect is result of child abuse.

    This is a tragedy but it is very wide spread and can only be accounted for by child rearing practices.
    Evidence?

    I don't believe that this is the only reason for flat effect. It could just be a personality trait inborn to someone without any external influence.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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  6. #46
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Yes, it is interesting that flat effect is cool, or as you say, glorified.

    Flat effect is an emotional disability. Flat effect is the sign of an emotionally impoverished life.

    This is too painful to face so it must be denied. And the best way to deny an emotional disability is to valorise it, or glorify it.

  7. #47
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Flat effect is an emotional disability.
    No, by definition it is not. It can be a symptom of a mental disorder yes. Isolated by itself though with no context to the person it is simply what it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Flat effect is the sign of an emotionally impoverished life.
    Sure, it can be a sign, but it doesn't mean that someone who uses it has had an emotionally deficient life. Further, it sounds like your vilifying these kinds of people, which is very unfair because you don't know what the reason for doing is, or if they even have control.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    This is too painful to face so it must be denied. And the best way to deny an emotional disability is to valorise it, or glorify it.
    Why are you villanizing this? I should be clear, I am not trying to justify it; I see it as something that simply is. It could be good, neutral, or bad depending on the individual. This isn't something to villanize.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
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  8. #48
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    For a couple years (maybe even as many as 10) , I tried engaging in complete emotional openness (contrary to my nature), and it did not go well. People are adverse to being around negative emotions, and would prefer to not know that they exist. Positive emotions can also get you in trouble, too, if they aren't in sync and aren't about the things you're "supposed to" feel positive about. It's socially very risky to passionate about something. There are rewards for conforming to a group, and punishments for not conforming.
    @bold lol I've been finding this out too. Surprisingly.

    I'm trying to figure out how I wanna deal with all of this though. I like the heavier side of the emotional spectrum - not necessarily sad, but heavy - and powerful disclosures. It's like that line, you know, you're entitled to your opinion / freedom of speech but you are also obligated to their consequences. It's all fine and dandy to buck a social rule you might see as fake or suppressive, but how you buck it sticks to you, and I have to weigh whether feeling "authentic" in the social sphere is worth the baggage of being viewed as a victim, depressive, etc, in the same place. It's not possible to maintain that sense of emotional empowerment once your environment may begin to reflect back to you - act towards you as if there's nothing but - disempowerment.

    It's never as romantic as it sounds in theory.
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  9. #49
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    people who do not know you care too much, that's what i'm gathering from this thread. let your face do its thing, if some person you don't really know gives a fuck kick them or you know just snarl either way, they'll probably leave you alone
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    @bold lol I've been finding this out too. Surprisingly.

    I'm trying to figure out how I wanna deal with all of this though. I like the heavier side of the emotional spectrum - not necessarily sad, but heavy - and powerful disclosures. It's like that line, you know, you're entitled to your opinion / freedom of speech but you are also obligated to their consequences. It's all fine and dandy to buck a social rule you might see as fake or suppressive, but how you buck it sticks to you, and I have to weigh whether feeling "authentic" in the social sphere is worth the baggage of being viewed as a victim, depressive, etc, in the same place. It's not possible to maintain that sense of emotional empowerment once your environment may begin to reflect back to you - act towards you as if there's nothing but - disempowerment.

    It's never as romantic as it sounds in theory.
    We are told America is rich in social capital and we are poor in social capital.

    Social capital is built on the false self called the personality. And indeed here we are devoted to the cult of the personality, the cult of the false self.

    Many of us here have failed to build an socially acceptable false self so we have come here to find an acceptable false self. We crave a false self that will enable us to belong to our society. And mbti provides ready-made false selves. What a relief! We are now OK.

    But what a choice we are faced with: to be acceptable with a false self, or unacceptable with our true self.

    And tragically we lose sight of our true self and so lose sight of ourselves.

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