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  1. #31
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Emotional cruelty is normal on Typology Central and it is taken for granted.
    This place is cruel? You should have visited the old INTP forum in 2008.

    And what is telling is that emotional cruelty is thought of as fun, as clever, and even cool.
    Now you're starting to understand the bigger picture.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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  2. #32
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I also think you try to get under people's skin, not that you'll ever cop to that, and that even though you do this, you really dislike it when someone does it to you.
    And when the first line of psychological defence is exposed, we fall back onto the second line of defence.

    And the tried and tested and time honoured second line of defence is to blame the victim.

    And in an enviroment where emotional cruelty is accepted, psychological defence mechanisms flourish and grow like an evil garden.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    This place is cruel? You should have visited the old INTP forum in 2008.

    Now you're starting to understand the bigger picture.
    Common decency stands against emotional cruelty, no matter how widespead, no matter how normal it appears.

    The only condition necessary for emotional cruelty to succeed is for us to do nothing.

    And a classic way of doing nothing is the psychological defence of flat affect.

  4. #34
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    And when th[INDENT][INDENT]e first line of psychological defence is exposed, we fall back onto the second line of defence.

    And the tried and tested and time honoured second line of defence is to blame the victim.
    And so, in trying to peel back psychological defenses, you are not engaged in acts of cruelty, or at least attempts at such? I suppose you convince yourself that you are engaging in healing.

    And in an enviroment where emotional cruelty is accepted, psychological defence mechanisms flourish and grow like an evil garden.
    I love evil gardens. Where else can someone get evil tomatoes, and evil apples and evil bananas?
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
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  5. #35
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Common decency stands against emotional cruelty, no matter how widespead, no matter how normal it appears.
    There is nothing decent about common decency. There is no sense in common sense.
    The only condition necessary for emotional cruelty to succeed is for us to do nothing.
    I worry less about what you call "emotional cruelty" than the "banality of evil."

    And a classic way of doing nothing is the psychological defence of flat affect.
    What do you do?
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
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  6. #36
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default From Surviving to Thriving Through Full Affect

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    And so, in trying to peel back psychological defenses, you are not engaged in acts of cruelty, or at least attempts at such? I suppose you convince yourself that you are engaging in healing.

    I love evil gardens. Where else can someone get evil tomatoes, and evil apples and evil bananas?
    When we attend a qualified psychotherapist, we start to discover our psychological defence mechanisms that have enabled us to survive but are holding us back from thriving now.

  7. #37
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    When we attend a qualified psychotherapist, we start to discover our psychological defence mechanisms that have enabled us to survive but are holding us back from thriving now.
    Hypothesis confirmed: Bully.

    What do you know about anything? You like to poke and prod for weak points, but I don't buy your rationalization that this is because you're that kind and generous of a person. I think it stems from personal insecurity, frankly. You did this starting from one of the very first posts I made here. I'm not going to listen to life advice from such a person. I accept advice from people who I deem trustworthy, who actually demonstrate good intentions and good faith. These include family members, lovers, real-life pals and cyber buddies. You are not one of those people.

    Folks like you do an excellent job of confirming the need for emotional distance to begin with.You kind of help to reinforce what myself and others were saying about complete emotional openness not being a good thing, or at least not a workable way to live.

    This is the last time I'm going to be honest with you. Future attempts to convert me to what you think will "save me" will produce only mockery.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
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  8. #38
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The problem is that as we maintain our psychological defences, we feel comfortable with those who also maintain their psychological defences, and after a while it seems natural, second nature. And it becomes a vicious circle, just as we become emotionally vicious and emotionally cruel.
    So you advocate unilateral disarmament in the emotional realm? Is this how you operate yourself? How has it worked for you?

    Also, what do you consider to be emotional cruelty?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #39
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I think the 'flat affect' might be a cultural thing, and I can understand why it's encouraged in a stressed-out society. If one person starts screaming in panic, everyone will start screaming as well, and there will be chaos.

    I've experienced a politically stressful period, where the society was tense, and every one was very agitated and angry. It only takes one little shout to cause mass panic, which then leads to violence.

    I think trying to be 'hardened' is psychologically harmful, but I think it's the result of an already harmful environment.

    I don't have any direct experience with 'hardened' societies. The cultures I know subscribe to a lot of gender roles but not the 'hardened males' bit. Yes, men are expected to be rational, but still 'warm' -- kind to others, compassionate.

    There's expectation for everyone to show 'only positive emotions', but I guess that's a slightly different issue.
    4w5 sp/sx EII
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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    So you advocate unilateral disarmament in the emotional realm? Is this how you operate yourself? How has it worked for you?

    Also, what do you consider to be emotional cruelty?
    Not too bad.

    I attended an Encounter Group for two years, run by the professional psychologist, Bob Hay, once a week at the University of New South Wales, Sydney, Australia, which changed my life.

    Then even more importantly I studied Reichian Therapy leading to a Reichian Therapy Group run by the professional, Lara Amber, who was trained at the Radix Institute, Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA, click on Radix - Live Fully!

    It is not surprising we still ask, what is emotional cruelty? Perhaps the best answer is provided by Alice Miller in her books including, For Your Own Good, click on http://playpen.icomtek.csir.co.za/~a...licemiller.pdf

    And for the thoughts of Alice Miller click on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpD2...s&spfreload=10

    And for, The Drama of the Gifted Child, by Alice Miller click on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K83D...U&spfreload=10

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