User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 44

  1. #1
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,909

    Default When do you "win" an argument? What do you expect to get out of an argument?

    The purpose of the thread is pretty much the title, but I'll be a little more thorough.

    How would you define winning an argument, or do you even define it at all? Do you expect to win an argument? Do you hope, or seek to? When you decide to engage in an argument, what motivates you to do so, and what makes you decide to end one? What do you expect to have gained when it's over?

    I have my answers, but I'll hold off because OP answers have a way of shaping threads.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,781

    Default

    when I've changed the mind of the other person. usually ends in a stalemate. no i don't expect to win, but if it does happen, that's nice
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #3
    ಠ﹏ಠ Glint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    TiNi
    Enneagram
    5 sp/so
    Posts
    107

    Default

    I try to avoid getting into arguments in the first place. Even if I disagree with someone, I prefer to keep my opinions to myself unless its a threat to me/will have an immediate impact that must be addressed. Basically, the danger must greatly outweigh the stress of confrontation in order for me to step up to the plate.

    I don't really define winning an argument. I am not motivated by the prospect of 'winning' or exerting my will over another person. When I enter an argument I'm usually not the initiator, and I fall into the role of laying out my opinion (rationally) or trying to clear up any misconceptions that caused the argument to happen in the first place. I consider an argument to have been successfully conducted/defused when I've cleared things up enough for the other person to understand what I meant*, and/or agreed to disagree. From an argument (or any sort of discussion) I hope to gain a better understanding of differing viewpoints (and/or the thought processes behind those views), and.. well, I'm just happy it's over!



    * occasionally this just doesn't happen. I consider it a lost cause and end up walking away from the argument instead.

  4. #4
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sp
    Posts
    2,760

    Default

    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz
    Likes prplchknz liked this post

  5. #5
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    One person wins the argument, the other wins life. Learn a little!

  6. #6
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default

    I don't know, but when I do "win" I always feel worse than I thought I would feel... I actually don't know if I really like it that much.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  7. #7
    cool cat Freesia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    MBTI
    Meow
    Enneagram
    :0) so/sp
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    252

    Default

    I really, really dislike getting involved in conflict with other people, and will only do so whenever I can't hold it in any longer. With that being said, I don't enter the argument with the intent of "winning"; I just want the other person to acknowledge my position.

    "Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high.
    Then life seems almost enchanted after all."
    - Vincent van Gogh






    johari/nohari

    infp 4w5 ?w? 9w? so=sp>sx

  8. #8
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,839

    Default

    When I'm done talking.

    Or when I'm told, "whatever."

    I'm not invested in "winning" I'm more invested in the process. The back and forth. Cuz I really don't care if I "win" or not this gives me a HUGE advantage and often frustrates the ever living shit out of people. I know what's right in my head at this age and VERY little is going to change that.

    I am still open and reasonable though.

    To officially "win," the winner has simply demonstrated better logic + more facts and left the loser flustered, or at a loss of words. But really, both parties are more than likely going to leave still believing what they started with.

    At the very most, a true "win," IMO, is when you can at least plant a seed of doubt in the other person's perceptions.

    People are only going to agree with you if they already agree with you.
    Last edited by johnnyyukon; 10-01-2014 at 10:54 AM.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  9. #9
    Google "chemtrails" Bush Did 9/11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    eNtp
    Enneagram
    3w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    γ Ni
    Posts
    4,196

    Default

    I hope to get a greater understanding. I hope the other tries for one as well. Who gives a shit who's right or wrong? If I'm right, it just corroborates my own understanding. If I'm not, it redirects my own understanding. Anything else is a waste of time; a hamster on a wheel.

    Life isn't a fucking high school debate club. It's best not to go around life acting like it is.
    J. Scott Crothers
    aka "Bush Did 9/11"
    Founder, Truthtology, est. 1952
    Prophet and Channel, God Almighty
    Author, the Holy scripture Elevenetics

    "Just as jet fuel cannot melt steel beams, so too cannot the unshakeable pillars of Truthtology ever be shaken, whether by man, nature, or evidence."
    - Elevenetics

  10. #10
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,881

    Default

    Validation. It's all about the validation. Someone acknowledging WHY I would be angry, and that everything isn't my fault. I always feel like it is--I'm always looking within myself for reasons why I fucked up.. and I usually go into things assuming I fucked up. So.. when someone else is throwing that at me.. .. I just get angrier. I'm far more willing to swallow my pride and talk rationally when someone isn't trying to show me what I did wrong as if I can't tell we just got into an argument because no matter what I already think it's my fault. I like suggestions to fix the situation, but I don't like it coming to me with the spin of, "Well why don't you just do this from now on since you clearly have an issue with that."

    Also, I'm a girl, and I cry when I'm angry. It's just something I do. Crying is... overall, honestly, a more healthy way to vent my frustrations than what I did as a teenager. Which is hit things. A lot. I'm over the whole "I want to be violent as much as possible while not being judged" phase of my life.. but people that can't just adult the fuck up and handle someone crying without going bananas is preferred.

    I'd definitely prefer to hear "It's okay. You're fine. I forgive you.. and I'm sorry too." than "You're not a bad person suddenly, it's whatever." ... The word whatever during arguments is the worst. @_@
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

Similar Threads

  1. What do you get out of debating controversial issues on this forum?
    By sofmarhof in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 04-20-2015, 08:20 PM
  2. What Tips Do You Have to Get to Sleep At Night?
    By Taizic in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 11-23-2011, 07:35 PM
  3. Time travel - where and when would you like to go?
    By Red Herring in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-11-2011, 08:00 AM
  4. How do you get out of the Ti loop of doom?
    By Intricate Mystic in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 10-23-2010, 02:35 PM
  5. [INTJ] INTJs, do you gain more pleasure out of feelings or thoughts?
    By DigitalMethod in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-19-2009, 06:09 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO