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Thread: When do you "win" an argument? What do you expect to get out of an argument?

  1. #1
    He pronks, too! Array Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Default When do you "win" an argument? What do you expect to get out of an argument?

    The purpose of the thread is pretty much the title, but I'll be a little more thorough.

    How would you define winning an argument, or do you even define it at all? Do you expect to win an argument? Do you hope, or seek to? When you decide to engage in an argument, what motivates you to do so, and what makes you decide to end one? What do you expect to have gained when it's over?

    I have my answers, but I'll hold off because OP answers have a way of shaping threads.
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  2. #2
    eating bugs out of hair. Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    when I've changed the mind of the other person. usually ends in a stalemate. no i don't expect to win, but if it does happen, that's nice
    by @magpie

  3. #3
    ಠ﹏ಠ Array Glint's Avatar
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    I try to avoid getting into arguments in the first place. Even if I disagree with someone, I prefer to keep my opinions to myself unless its a threat to me/will have an immediate impact that must be addressed. Basically, the danger must greatly outweigh the stress of confrontation in order for me to step up to the plate.

    I don't really define winning an argument. I am not motivated by the prospect of 'winning' or exerting my will over another person. When I enter an argument I'm usually not the initiator, and I fall into the role of laying out my opinion (rationally) or trying to clear up any misconceptions that caused the argument to happen in the first place. I consider an argument to have been successfully conducted/defused when I've cleared things up enough for the other person to understand what I meant*, and/or agreed to disagree. From an argument (or any sort of discussion) I hope to gain a better understanding of differing viewpoints (and/or the thought processes behind those views), and.. well, I'm just happy it's over!

    * occasionally this just doesn't happen. I consider it a lost cause and end up walking away from the argument instead.

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  4. #4
    Boaty McBoatface Array SD45T-2's Avatar
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  5. #5


    One person wins the argument, the other wins life. Learn a little!

  6. #6


    I don't know, but when I do "win" I always feel worse than I thought I would feel... I actually don't know if I really like it that much.
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  7. #7
    cool cat Array Freesia's Avatar
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    I really, really dislike getting involved in conflict with other people, and will only do so whenever I can't hold it in any longer. With that being said, I don't enter the argument with the intent of "winning"; I just want the other person to acknowledge my position.

    "Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high.
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  8. #8
    Male Array johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    When I'm done talking.

    Or when I'm told, "whatever."

    I'm not invested in "winning" I'm more invested in the process. The back and forth. Cuz I really don't care if I "win" or not this gives me a HUGE advantage and often frustrates the ever living shit out of people. I know what's right in my head at this age and VERY little is going to change that.

    I am still open and reasonable though.

    To officially "win," the winner has simply demonstrated better logic + more facts and left the loser flustered, or at a loss of words. But really, both parties are more than likely going to leave still believing what they started with.

    At the very most, a true "win," IMO, is when you can at least plant a seed of doubt in the other person's perceptions.

    People are only going to agree with you if they already agree with you.
    Last edited by johnnyyukon; 10-01-2014 at 10:54 AM.
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  9. #9
    Google "chemtrails" Array Bush Did 9/11's Avatar
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    I hope to get a greater understanding. I hope the other tries for one as well. Who gives a shit who's right or wrong? If I'm right, it just corroborates my own understanding. If I'm not, it redirects my own understanding. Anything else is a waste of time; a hamster on a wheel.

    Life isn't a fucking high school debate club. It's best not to go around life acting like it is.
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  10. #10
    Emperor/Dictator Array kyuuei's Avatar
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    Validation. It's all about the validation. Someone acknowledging WHY I would be angry, and that everything isn't my fault. I always feel like it is--I'm always looking within myself for reasons why I fucked up.. and I usually go into things assuming I fucked up. So.. when someone else is throwing that at me.. .. I just get angrier. I'm far more willing to swallow my pride and talk rationally when someone isn't trying to show me what I did wrong as if I can't tell we just got into an argument because no matter what I already think it's my fault. I like suggestions to fix the situation, but I don't like it coming to me with the spin of, "Well why don't you just do this from now on since you clearly have an issue with that."

    Also, I'm a girl, and I cry when I'm angry. It's just something I do. Crying is... overall, honestly, a more healthy way to vent my frustrations than what I did as a teenager. Which is hit things. A lot. I'm over the whole "I want to be violent as much as possible while not being judged" phase of my life.. but people that can't just adult the fuck up and handle someone crying without going bananas is preferred.

    I'd definitely prefer to hear "It's okay. You're fine. I forgive you.. and I'm sorry too." than "You're not a bad person suddenly, it's whatever." ... The word whatever during arguments is the worst. @_@
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