When my time comes, I will hand my cloak to my son, greet Death as an old friend and go with him willingly.
I love when people reference "The Bard".
More on-topic though, I don't think I'm afraid of death, but then again very sick people, old people, and just decrepitude in general, freaks me out. So I am probably more afraid than I realize.
I'm definitely not afraid of what comes after, because I think whatever it is that makes me fearful will be gone once I die. If my consciousness/energy exists in some way beyond my death, I don't imagine it will be scared. And besides, it probably won't come to that. I'm not terribly convinced there is an after, anyway.
Seriously though: The possibility of nonexistence is my biggest fear. Meaning, not only am I afraid of the possibility of there being nothing after death, but I'm afraid of the annihilation of the self through merging with something greater.
Best I can do in the meantime is to try to be the best person I can be, and get as much out of life as I can.So that's what I try to do.
Do you fear death?
I used to be, until I had a conversation with my then FWB, who was an atheist just like me and he explained why there is no need to be afraid of death. Our brains simply stop working at some point, we lose consciousness, we won't even be aware of the fact that we're dead. No thoughts, no feelings, but also no suffering. Just a big nothingness. And we won't even mind it, because we won't have the mind anymore we need to mind it.
Do you fear what lay after death? The abyss, heaven, hell, paradise, reincarnation?
No. Thank you, former FWB!
Or do you fear leaving this place behind, not being able to watch the grand show play out?
Not for myself, but maybe for the people who love me. Who knows, maybe they won't be able to handle it. So hopefully I'll die in a way that helps them make peace with it.
Or do you welcome it, awaiting the great beyond to finally understand?
Not necessarily, especially not now. I like life, I'd love to live for a little longer.
I have in the past in a very particular way. Which is that I have feared wasting my life. I am very driven to live a full life of my own creation - I have experienced a great deal of angst when things haven't happened in ways that fulfill my vision for my life. Not referring to mistakes exactly, those are fine and even welcomed because I think they are good for me, but rather things that would become long-term trends flowing in complete opposition to living a life I want to run towards. I think this life is all that there is; I want to make it count in a way that leaves me feeling "bloody, but unbowed". And therefore happy. :-)
I guess that does mean thoughts of my mortality have absolutely dominated my life... I have always walked a line between wanting to LIVE, LIVE, LIVE! and not wading too far into the ocean of regret. Happy to say that I have calmed down a lot since I had babies. It has been wonderful to realize something as pedestrian as having a child could bring so much of the otherworldly magic I crave into my life.
I mean...I don't fear it. It's not scary. But it makes me sad that all this will end. That I'll lose my mom. My brothers and sisters. That I'm really all alone, so alone so as to not even have myself...I'll lose myself too.
But then again, I might not. So, while it's saddening, I find solace in knowing that I really don't know.