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Thread: Compromise and Religion in relationships

  1. #11
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Array Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    No. I'd only date non-religious people anyway.
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  2. #12
    deplorable basketcase Array Tellenbach's Avatar
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    I'm not religious but I'd go because I'd want to know everything about this person if we're talking about a committed relationship. If it's not a committed relationship, I'd go a few times but not on a regular basis.
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  3. #13


    As others have said, I'd go at least once to get a scope of who the person is.

    If the church itself offered something other than praise and worship--insight, camraderie, etc.--then, yeah; I'd even go regularly. Some of 'em do it right.

    The last church I went to derided "kids today" and claimed that "we don't come from monkeys" (no exaggeration). If the person nodded their head during those sorts of sermons, let alone subjected themselves to them regularly, I probably wouldn't like them anymore.

  4. #14


    I can't say I would really...

    I believe in God but have some issues with religion. Used to be religious myself but got fed up with a lot of the cultural/political stuff (gay, women, total abstinence, etc). A lot of religions are similar in that regard. Unless it was a pretty progressive one, I'd be concerned about how I/my family fit into things if the person were super into it.

    I would probably attend a few times to get a sense of what that particular religion is all about, but if it turned out to conflict with my beliefs too much, and the other person believed in those aspects as well... I don't think I could date someone like that.
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  5. #15
    Emperor/Dictator Array kyuuei's Avatar
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    I'd find it very difficult to date/be with someone religious and NOT attend important religious events. I am lucky in that I've got a very hippy religion, and all of my dates have not been very religious. But to me:

    Short term: If you knew nothing about it already, I'd go for courtesy but make it very clear that I do not subscribe to this, I already have a firmly rooted belief elsewhere, and that while I enjoy learning what helps you and makes happy.. it is not what works for me.

    It isn't like going to church is going to convert you or anything. I've been many, many times, and actually had fun and enjoyed it all. It was fine. It isn't what I believe necessarily, but it is a holy place of worship and it can have a very positive atmosphere. I think everyone benefits from being around people that are happy and energetic about something.

    Long term: That requires a bit of sitting down and discussing.. especially if kids are involved. It's always nice to be able to bridge gaps in beliefs, and I think many, many people end up adopting some form of beliefs from one another as a general principle of growing closer together. But it's an important aspect to look at--marriage, children, and how stressful situations and deaths in families are handled rely heavily on religious views.
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  6. #16
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    Nope. If they ask that is a sign to me that they want me to be a part of their life in that respect and it is something I want ziltch to do with. Or worse, they want me to believe. I don't want to date religious folk. If I did I'd expect them to ditch it very quickly, which isn't fair to demand.
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  7. #17
    Feline Member Array kelric's Avatar
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    Almost certainly, I would not. I don't really enjoy the environment anyway, and I'd certainly not want to give the erroneous impression that it was something I was interested in exploring. I'd just say "no thank you", and leave it at that (I've done this on numerous occasions when family has invited me to church). Now, if it were a special one-time religious ceremony, like a wedding or baptism, would I go? Sure. Even if I didn't value the religious aspect of it, I'd be happy be a part of a major event in someone's life.

    But honestly...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    It is very unlikely that I would be in a relationship with someone who valued going to church, though.
    Yeah. That. There are just too many large differences in lifestyle and outlook between myself and folks who attend traditional church services on a regular basis.

  8. #18


    In this scenario as with any other I think it best to keep an open mind and open yourself to new experiences, because who knows you might actually be intrigued by their religion.

    Plus, it might allow you to get to know more about the person, as a persons beliefs say a lot about them.

    I'd say, if it does not make you uncomfortable, go for it, what have you got to lose?

  9. #19
    Senior Member Array ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Sure - once, as an observer. It is very unlikely that I would be in a relationship with someone who valued going to church, though.
    This. Religion is a really hard limit for me, I don't want it in my home or my life. If my ENFJ suddenly got religion, I would have to make a serious assessment of our marriage.
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  10. #20
    Honor Thy Inferior Array Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r.a View Post
    Lets say you are not religious or even an atheist but you really (like, really) like someone and they want you to go to church with them. Do you give in to make them happy? Why would you or wouldn't you?
    I would if it was more for the companionship rather than being pressured to convert to their religion. I would go if it made me understand their religion better.

    I wouldn't go if there was too much pressure to convert to another religion or if going to church required me to partake in rituals that I don't feel comfortable with.
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