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  1. #1
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Default There's a Man Inside Me

    "For there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out, can I walk free of pain."
    -Tobias Funke


    Anyone else ever feel they are 2 people? I was talking to a friend tonight and for the first time I realized that I do. I wish it weren't so, but it is hard to explain anymore than that because to do so would seem more depressing than it really is. But I will say there is a me who believes things are the way he wants them to be and there is a me inside me who looks at things and sees both the good and bad without bias, and searches for the cold hard truth rather than the seductive siren song of wishful thinking.

    Turns out nothing I used to believe in is real. Sad thing about the truth is that there isn't much of it and it is constantly changing. The truth is a challenge. The truth is bad. Frightening. I'm scared. And guess what.. I really wouldn't believe anyone who said they aren't. Life is a beast. Pain and suffering will come. And then the big one, death. Time and health is slipping through our fingers constantly. So is what we know and love. The future's a dangerous place, if the past is any indication.

    And yet, knowing and acknowledging all of this is better than not. Despite the truth's tiny size and ugly features, at least it is something. And that something can grow and become useful. Knowing the truth helps us in the world. The more you know, the better off you are. Success is more a question of beliefs than anything else. While it is possible to have the right beliefs for the wrong reason, that is tantamount to building a house on sand. Someone emboldened by religious fervor may temporarily be boosted by the confidence that a god is up there and rooting for his team. But that same belief, which is not anchored in reality, will lead to downfalls of equal magnitude eventually. It's a casino game. Sometimes you're up. It's a big fucking mistake, though, to think it was for some reason other than luck.

    The truth is what's solved many of our problems through time.


    Sadly this is who we still are. Most people pray. Most people believe there must be something in the world that makes life good where it is really bad. They simply can't accept that things don't happen for a reason. There was no reason for small pox, yet the religious of the 1700s were known to rally against vaccination for this disease because to do so would interfere with god's plan.

    People believe in more than just some puppet god who is actually a vehicle for their own self-aggrandizement though. They believe crazy things about love and relationships. They think one day someone is going to come along and make right everything that is wrong in their lives, and they constantly fool themselves into falling for different people, putting their lives and well-being in the hands of others, getting hurt repeatedly as they are shown, people are just people, no one is your personal messiah, you have no soul mate. That's right, there is no one on this Earth who won't hurt you or let you down eventually. Go ahead, fool yourself. Look on the bright side. It won't change the fact that you're ultimately alone in this world and forever will be.

    Romantic love vanishes in time, and you're back where you started, basically alone. Sticking together is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's nothing to have sex 3 times a day over for decades and decades. It's just kind of... ordinary. Even if it's good, heh heh, marriages crumble all the time. 25 years happy may not make it to 30. The person you thought you knew can just lose interest and throw you away. And it happens all the time. Same with kids. So many parents have kids thinking it will forever make them happy, and for a while it does, but those kids they get older and move on, and the tighter you hold on to them the harder they push away. In the end they leave the nest and this precious baby you raised from scratch and nurtured for 18 years vanishes, only to be seen from now on a few times a year on holidays, and the intimacy once there has mostly faded.

    The solution is to be cold. "Stay frosty," as they say. People rebel against something like science just because it is cold. I've seen it in myself. If everything is objective truth, right and wrong, then it feels like there is no room for dreams or expression of our desires. What if everything we know turns out to be one day proven wrong by science?

    Being cold isn't that bad though. It's a limited coldness. See, the other "man inside me" is a liar. Some might say it's the devil, but I think that's just symbolic... because it really does feel like having a split personality, being human. Wishful thinking vs. truth, 2 voices, one of them strong, seductive, and beautiful, but utterly illusory, the other beaten and battered, ugly, and scrawny, but real, and waiting to be nurtured and strengthened.

    And that's who I'll always try to be, that second one. Even when others find me ugly and unpalatable, with no one but myself on my side, something real is infinitely better than something illusory, no matter how spectacular, no matter how popular and crowded.

    People have criticized me here for appearing bitter and cynical. Damn right, I say. Sometimes life is a mother-fucker, and I don't care who knows. If it's shit, I'll call it shit. Recognizing it is step 1 of fixing it.

    Don't let them immanentize the eschaton. Fuck your utopia. Fuck your "trust." People need to hold their ground; we aren't ready to trust yet. They tried that shit in the 60s and it got them people like Charles Manson and Timothy Leary, psychopath messiahs all too willing to abuse that trust to the last drop. These people are all liar, no truth. They are 1 voice, the bad one. And there's plenty around still like 'em. Recognize those people who tell you only what you want to hear. Notice how they never allow in the people who question them. Ask questions yourself. Make them prove their claims. People are full of shit. Trust is hard earned, and it can fall apart at any minute. Remember that and you'll never experience too much pain.

    Utopia may come one day. It may come on day fairly soon. But rest assured, I'll be the last one in. As long as there's evil out there, I'm all tooth and grit. This is war.

    Speak, strike, redress!

    “We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.”

  2. #2
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
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    A good read this was.

    Now, first off, I think whats healthy is to look at the bright and the dark side. Sometimes, there is no bright side. Sometimes. But happinness is unavoidable as is suffering in life, think about it, has there been at life one point in your life where good things came to you? Whats best is to see life at mid-height, not too high not too low.

  3. #3
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Ultimately I don't think suffering is avoidable right now, but I think it will be one day. It is absolutely a technological possibility to fully abolish all suffering on this planet, human and animal, and once I realized that a lot of my depression over the present evaporated too. It gives me purpose to think that things can be better in the future. My goal is to spread the word about the ways science can and will help us, because I think a lot of people are unaware or uncertain.

    I always think about things like small pox and medieval torture... horrible things that aren't around anymore, and it makes me remember that we are on a slow, forward march towards something better. But I find it terrible, still, what I see in the world today, to a lesser extent where I live, but more so in places like Mexico, Africa, Russia... everywhere blatant atrocities still occur because of a lack of wealth and education. My biggest fear is that the good countries would lose their dominance and we would be set back into the Dark Ages, but with better tech to abuse us with.

    So things are very important to me, they matter very much. Can't pretend they don't. I wish I knew how I could help, given my personality, and I think right now the best way is just to speak out and promote science, history, philosophy, rationality, etc. It's a voice I think needs to be heard in greater abundance, so I guess that's where threads like this come from. Still I don't quite feel like I am fully self-actualizing here, but I know time changes everything and truth be told, I've made a lot of progress from where I was 6 months ago when I was a depressed wreck.

  4. #4
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    Ultimately I don't think suffering is avoidable right now, but I think it will be one day. It is absolutely a technological possibility to fully abolish all suffering on this planet, human and animal, and once I realized that a lot of my depression over the present evaporated too. It gives me purpose to think that things can be better in the future. My goal is to spread the word about the ways science can and will help us, because I think a lot of people are unaware or uncertain.
    Is life not worth living if there is suffering in it though? And on a different subject, but no less relevant, would it still include an element of pleasure if there were no suffering to contrast?


    I always think about things like small pox and medieval torture... horrible things that aren't around anymore, and it makes me remember that we are on a slow, forward march towards something better. But I find it terrible, still, what I see in the world today, to a lesser extent where I live, but more so in places like Mexico, Africa, Russia... everywhere blatant atrocities still occur because of a lack of wealth and education. My biggest fear is that the good countries would lose their dominance and we would be set back into the Dark Ages, but with better tech to abuse us with.
    I fear this too. The 'third world' is merging more and more, population wise with the so called first world. Not to mention reason seems to be on the retreat in the general mentality, in additon to, or perhaps, because of, the former fact. To the third world it may very well seem like things are progressing.

    So things are very important to me, they matter very much. Can't pretend they don't. I wish I knew how I could help, given my personality, and I think right now the best way is just to speak out and promote science, history, philosophy, rationality, etc. It's a voice I think needs to be heard in greater abundance, so I guess that's where threads like this come from. Still I don't quite feel like I am fully self-actualizing here, but I know time changes everything and truth be told, I've made a lot of progress from where I was 6 months ago when I was a depressed wreck.
    I think pushing science and rationality, as well as ethics to go along with these things, is my mission as well.

  5. #5
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Typh0n View Post
    Is life not worth living if there is suffering in it though? And on a different subject, but no less relevant, would it still include an element of pleasure if there were no suffering to contrast?
    Life may or may not be worth living, depending on how much suffering it involves. I do believe there is a point at which death becomes preferable.

    Regarding the second point, yes. "Contrast" is one of the ways people rationalize the existing of suffering. They say you need to experience the lows to appreciate the highs. Looking around, though, it's evident that this isn't true. Some people spend decades in deep depression, and others are by nature cheerful and active. It is possible to be happy all the time. In fact, with the right kind of electric stimulation, unending bliss can be achieved that never becomes tiresome.

    Now, I'm not suggesting we jump feet first into this, but deep brain stimulation actually has been used on treatment-resistant depression and given very interesting results...

    The woman in this video (take a look at part 5 for her whole story) was basically crippled by depression for decades and finally chose to try DBS. The video picks up right after her implantation.


    This same video actually used to frighten me, and still might a little (equally negative states could be produced by a torturer), but overall I think this first experimental use shows promise and has clearly impacted this woman's life in a heartening way.

    Btw, I used to not really believe depression existed in the sense that I thought it was the kind of thing people just needed to work through without help from medicines and such. To some extent, that is true, but to a large degree, some people just have lower set-points and cannot help feeling dysphoric.

    I fear this too. The 'third world' is merging more and more, population wise with the so called first world. Not to mention reason seems to be on the retreat in the general mentality, in additon to, or perhaps, because of, the former fact. To the third world it may very well seem like things are progressing.
    It looks like they are! There is actually this company that uses drones (matternet) to deliver goods and medicines to people in places that are not accessible by roads for large parts of the year, for instance. I love to hear things like this. We are more and more able to solve problems today with out tools.

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    he's gonna hate me for this, which is ok because he already hates me but, I honestly can't resist. tehe!

    if there's a man inside you, then you're probably pregnant or possibly possessed

  7. #7
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    The stuff in that video is ON THE WAY FAST, everyone. The graphs are going vertical and we are on the edge of a cliff right now. I literally feel like we are looking god right in the eyes with this coming revolution, because that's what we will become. IF everything goes well. If, if, if. This is fucking important.

  8. #8
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    he's gonna hate me for this, which is ok because he already hates me but, I honestly can't resist. tehe!

    if there's a man inside you, then you're probably pregnant or possibly possessed
    The title of the thread is a joke actually. It's from Arrested Development. Look up Tobias Funke on youtube.

  9. #9
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    "If it was possible to become free of negative emotions by a riskless implementation of an electrode - without impairing intelligence and the critical mind - I would be the first patient."
    -Dalai Lama

  10. #10
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    "For there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out, can I walk free of pain."
    -Tobias Funke

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