The idea of living in a permanent state of euphoria for an eternity (Heaven) terrifies me a bit more; it just seems unnatural, like being on a permanent drug trip with no comedown. I'd rather just...rest.
It wouldn't seem unnatural at all if it were actually happening to you. The right chemical pathways can be manipulated in the brain such that bliss never gets remotely tiresome (for instance). You're projecting what you currently feel towards what you might feel in heaven. In heaven, you'd know bliss that you literally can't conceive of right now.
I'm not afraid of the thought that God doesn't exist, but I am afraid of the thought that there is nothing after death but the dark abyss that is non-existence. I don't want to perish from this place, I like it.
Way back when when I was trying to figure the universe and all that heavy stuff out, I predicated my search based on the existence of a God. When I saw that not all good people are rewarded in their lifetime, I assumed it meant something about God. When I see that most likely consciousness can be replicated as a machine, this means something about God to me.
It's impossible for me to not believe in God, but it is a kind of placeholder to me, as it is to everybody who has ever invoked it.
The concept of god not existing doesn't terrify me. I take the absence of an afterlife as a given, and do not believe in gambling away what might be my only chance on metaphysics. The finality is terrifying, but also beautiful. Really, if you think about, if it's your only chance, doesn't that make your life more meaningful, not less?
In as much as I allow for the existence of a god, and I do to a limited extent, there still is no afterlife, though there is an order. At times, I think the order may consist of justice. I vacillate on that one.
I guess... what I'm trying to say here is that I don't need an afterlife, and I think believing in an afterlife is kind of like a crutch, but I do believe in an inherent order. It's not a popular idea for some, since saying that kind of things seems to be equated with a rejection of science, but doesn't science exist according to the same principles, after all? There are certainly rules. If you drop an apple, you know it's going to fall.