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  1. #41
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    @ygolo Liking oneself can be a hazy or broad concept. I'm sure you can list particular things that you like about yourself? And reasons why you like those things about yourself?

  2. #42
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Zoloft I've heard is fantastic.
    zoloft sucks

  3. #43
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    zoloft sucks
    Guess it depends on the issue. I know a couple people that said it changed their life.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #44
    Glycerine
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    Someone once told me that if you can learn to accept others' frailties and weaknesses, then it's easier to accept ourselves regardless of our own flaws. I am trying it on for size.

  5. #45
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    @Amargith: I think most people understand that we can't be perfect or godlike, so in a lot of cases of self-rejection, the hubris runs laterally rather than vertically. That is, one doesn't want to be somebody sublime so much as to be a mortal other than themselves. "I can be perfect" vs "I can be anyone I want to be". Contrary to what children's television told us, there's a distinct and finitely flexible limit to each person's capabilities set by a number of natural and nurtural things like personality, physical build, etc. The self-hate happens when you think you must be something outside of your unique bounds, whether it's higher or equal but simply too distant.

    Quote Originally Posted by SensEye View Post
    I can't fathom your behavior question. I simply won't behave in a fundamental way I don't respect. I suppose if I ever did under circumstances of extreme duress I may lose respect for myself, but then I would go about making amends/getting back to normal once I could address whatever circusmstances caused the behavior in the first place.
    My @ to Amargith is a lynchpin that can change all of this. The moment your definition of "respectable" exits your personal range of capabilities, it becomes impossible to do anything you can respect, including moral amendments. One's behavior need not change at all from what it was before the bar was raised (though, unhelpfully, it probably will out of emotional fatigue). The picture changed because the observer moved, not the observed.

    The question is what pushed the observer of oneself into this unrealistic stance. You ask it yourself in response to ygolo.

    I realize my initial question was oriented toward behavioral choices in the eyes of values that stay solid, like your reply, so I'm not saying your reply wasn't apt in light of the original perspective. It was.

    I think it's hard to change your true nature, but if you clealy don't respect a certain behavior, even if you behaved that way a time or two, it should be easy to stop this behavior. Otherwise I would question whether you truly believe said behavior is so dispicable.
    The loss of ability to forgive oneself, as detailed above, can demotivate on this front and lead to addiction. Keep doing it, you suck; stop, you still suck. But other factors like mental illness, fear, threat of hardship to yourself or someone under your care, and the mere strength of human habit can make it a challenge to change one's ways, too. Behavior often lags behind mental epiphany and changes in philosophy. See: self-help industry.

    “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.”
    ― Maya Angelou

    Personal values rarely are the only forces on our behavior. Even when we consciously think they are, they may not be. I think that is something to aspire to, though. To try one's best to distill their decisions down to rational self-direction uncorrupted by instinctual/emotional/chemical baggage, especially when it isn't easy.

    I like how solid your source of confidence is. Your post is an explicit summary of what I admire in a lot of Ji doms around here, but also cool without reference to typology.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

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  6. #46
    WhoCares
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you learn to like yourself?

    Thoughts?

    Practical advice?
    Simple, stop hating yourself.

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The unexamined life is not worth living.
    Indeed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qrious View Post
    @ygolo Liking oneself can be a hazy or broad concept. I'm sure you can list particular things that you like about yourself? And reasons why you like those things about yourself?
    I thought this would be easier than it seems to be. I have a hard enough time thinking of particular things about myself, let alone whether or not I like them. When I think of a trait, I wonder if that a trait of me or not, because it is not a permanent thing about me. I have a wide range of behaviors, so I am not sure how to characterize myself.

    To be honest, while I am on this forum (or vent), I am likely in a dark place. That is partly why I come here. I know that sounds awful. But I started learning about personality and psychology during a dark part of my life. That is why I associate this forum, at least blogging on here, with a sort of coping mechanism for troubles. If everything is going fine, you probably would not see me posting often, because I would instead be doing other things. My traits on here are quite different from general.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Someone once told me that if you can learn to accept others' frailties and weaknesses, then it's easier to accept ourselves regardless of our own flaws. I am trying it on for size.
    I accept others, and myself. Acceptance is not the problem for me, it is a feeling of regarding myself with approval that I have a problem with.

    I don't hate myself. But I do not like myself in the sense that I don't approve of who I am going forward. But I accept that I am who I am at this moment.

    Weird

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  8. #48
    Senior Member Hypatia's Avatar
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    What if people just aren't that likeable?

  9. #49

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    Quote Originally Posted by palm View Post
    What if people just aren't that likeable?
    Yes. What if, then?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  10. #50
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The truth is that you hate me because I stand in the way of your wish to harm others. And I stand in your way of recruiting others to harm others.
    amen brotha!

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