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  1. #11
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you learn to like yourself?

    Thoughts?

    Practical advice?
    Minimize affiliations with people who bring negativity into your life. You need to have those genuine friends who will call it like it is, and yes, sometimes, what they say will be negative, but their sum effect in your life is positive.

    Do something you love, that doesn't hurt anyone, and keep doing it. Bonus points if it helps others, has a positive impact beyond your own satisfaction.

    I am a firm believer that what you do (or do not do), you become.

  2. #12
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Because my self hate is built upon factual actions I have taken. My like is built upon only whims.

    Well I say factual...for this reality at least.
    That is all that stands in my way on the issue. That you should unconditionally love/respect yourself seems, as far as I know, to be a fact accepted unquestioningly. It's hard to get a reason why out of anyone. What if you have behaved in ways that would prompt you to write off any other human being? What makes sense to me is that if you are not appealing to yourself and your sense of value, you should start doing things characteristic of someone you can respect, and through that the self-respect will come.

    But I can see merit to approaching the problem from the other side even if the leap of faith turns me off as an evidence freak. Self-love in healthy amounts brings substantial benefits in mental health and quality of life, and even if that love is not objectiveley backed at first, those two payoffs breed more respectable behavior.

    So, what I have today is this: if down on yourself, do what you feel it takes to become respectable if you think you can swing it in your psychically weakened state. That would be my first choice because it's an empirical method throughout, but it's a tough one. If you can't do that, it's okay to find some intrinsic core inside to love, because failing severe psychopathologies, it'll logically work itself out into a self as strong in the objective world as the first. Just have patience.

    Note: there is a central assumption running through this post that we are what we do. I'd be delighted to hear a good refutation of it.
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  3. #13
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you learn to like yourself?

    Thoughts?

    Practical advice?
    I just recently finished reading The Republic. I have to say, philosophy has actually taught me quite a bit.

    Long story short, an ordered (virtuous) soul of that between the mind, will, and the emotion. In typology terms, it is the equivalent to the Ego, Super Ego, and the Id.

    When one's life is disordered, one's happiness is disordered. And when one's life is ordered, one's happiness is in order.

  4. #14
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The very question, "How to like oneself?", shows that one is alienated from oneself, that is, one is separate from oneself, that is, we are a divided self.

    It is only a divided self that can ask the question, "How to like oneself?".

    It is only someone completely alienated from oneself that can even ask the question.

    So the question is not, "How to like oneself?", but the question is, "How to be oneself?".

  5. #15
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The very question, "How to like oneself?", shows that one is alienated from oneself, that is, one is separate from oneself, that is, we are a divided self.

    It is only a divided self that can ask the question, "How to like oneself?".

    It is only someone completely alienated from oneself that can even ask the question.

    So the question is not, "How to like oneself?", but the question is, "How to be oneself?".
    I like this a lot. How to be one with one's own self.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it just seems so cruel not to.

    i have never had to try to like my mother, father, sisters or kids....or myself. like ever. those people are a part of me...and i them... it's this completely sacred thing that would make angels weep and lil fairies turn to dust if i ever felt anything but love for them.

    i don't know how to live in a world where i could be so cruel as to not have love for myself or any part of my foundation.

    which in no way means i think any of us are perfect....but perfection has nothing to do with it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post

    Note: there is a central assumption running through this post that we are what we do. I'd be delighted to hear a good refutation of it.

    Yes, there is this assumption.

    (this next part isn't necessarily directed at you Misty)

    How can someone be soley what they do?

    I don't believe an alcoholic is a bad person.

    That seems like bs.

    How can a person be bad because of a behavior or belief that they have practiced.

    Beliefs and behaviors are only thoughts that are thought over and over again, until they've reached the subconcious and become a habit.

    That means everyone is a bad person. Because everyone has thoughts and habits.


    @AffirmitiveAnxiety you are innately worthy. The only reason people feel like they're bad is because they cut themselves off from the flow...the flow is still there, you just aren't in sync with it.

    You cannot walk into a room and turn the "dark" switch on. You can only cover up the light. There is no dark. There is only absence of light.

    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you learn to like yourself?

    Thoughts?

    Practical advice?
    Find out what you don't like about yourself and don't try to change those things. What you can do with those things is look at them in their greatest light. Almost like evolving them or exalting them.

    You can also start to give yourself your own advice or treating yourself like your own parent.

    Everyone has an inner child that has been covered up or ignored. If you let yourself have your own guidance system and play the parent role that you never had, to your inner self, then you will be able to offer yourself the compassion you need.

    If you are to do this, you are supposed to treat your inner child in a consoling way as if you were giving your friend advice (from yourself)

    I say parent though, because your innerself is still a child and needs boundaries.

    Or so I've heard.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yes, there is this assumption.

    (this next part isn't necessarily directed at you Misty)

    How can someone be soley what they do?

    I don't believe an alcoholic is a bad person.

    That seems like bs.

    How can a person be bad because of a behavior or belief that they have practiced.

    Beliefs and behaviors are only thoughts that are thought over and over again, until they've reached the subconcious and become a habit.

    That means everyone is a bad person. Because everyone has thoughts and habits.


    @AffirmitiveAnxiety you are innately worthy. The only reason people feel like they're bad is because they cut themselves off from the flow...the flow is still there, you just aren't in sync with it.

    You cannot walk into a room and turn the "dark" switch on. You can only cover up the light. There is no dark. There is only absence of light.



    Find out what you don't like about yourself and don't try to change those things. What you can do with those things is look at them in their greatest light. Almost like evolving them or exalting them.

    You can also start to give yourself your own advice or treating yourself like your own parent.

    Everyone has an inner child that has been covered up or ignored. If you let yourself have your own guidance system and play the parent role that you never had, to your inner self, then you will be able to offer yourself the compassion you need.

    If you are to do this, you are supposed to treat your inner child in a consoling way as if you were giving your friend advice (from yourself)

    I say parent though, because your innerself is still a child and needs boundaries.

    Or so I've heard.
    this is true.

    and this.



    and i'd just like to thank my parents for giving me a positive one...it's so important.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post

    and i'd just like to thank my parents for giving me a positive one...it's so important.
    Yea I personally believe that letting your children have their own guidance system and inner voice can really improve a child's life. But what the hell do I know? I don't have kids lol

    I do think you were lucky though...not many parents do that!

  10. #20
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it's so key tho...what you brought up about being your own friend and parent to your inner child. i think we need that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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