To the bolded:
That is why we should be so grateful we are not alone trying to figure it all out! You neglected to mention the best resource, which is God's word (the bible, commandments, etc.) and his word directly to us that comes when we pray. Pastors or others, and our own impulses and leanings, cannot reliably guide us to what is right for us because others are fallible and we are too.
If I cannot make a move until I have deep self-awareness then I'm in a bit of a quandary, because I have never really known myself even though I have had times where I thought I did. Thankfully God knows me perfectly. That is why I rely on him to be in the driver's seat. Plus our weaknesses, strengths, and sexual orientation will change over time (hopefully! because who likes monotony and stagnation?), making those things unreliable as well.
But if they would not be able to connect with them sexually, then they would never love them enough to in the first place. That is why it is imperative that LOVE lead, because then you know the sexuality from that will be pure. Sex first will not guarantee good love... and I choose the word 'good' here intently, because only God is good.
The highest attainable 'level' as a human being is to be as like God as possible, but in our own skins, in the life and body he has given us. Since we cannot really be like God--only Jesus could do that--we can ask to follow His will for us as much as we are able. Following God's will means keeping oneself open and available at all times~I find it wild that it is like the ultimate master/slave relationship: You would not tell your master you could not/would not do something he asked you to do! You would do it, trusting that he knew what was best for you. That is why trust is paramount, and why honesty is necessary.
Every time we categorize ourselves, label ourselves, prescribe for ourselves, consign ourselves, resign ourselves to such-and-such a reality, we limit our relationship to our Father and we limit our own existence, and the existence of those we touch. We should live knowing our lives are not really 'ours' to do whatever we want with, our lives are God's to do with what he wills. Because he not only knows and is the ultimate Good, but he knows the ultimate Good for each of us.