User Tag List

First 89101112 Last

Results 91 to 100 of 159

  1. #91
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I regretted phrasing that harshly soon after posting.

    I get frustrated on this topic just because I spent my younger adult years hearing about providential leading towards romantic encounters and it often followed the same pattern:

    When someone was attracted to another person, they would see providential leading in every detail
    Sometimes a relationship would result with emotional hype about God's leading
    The relationship falls apart and all providence is forgotten.
    Repeat

    Sometimes a person would be angry at god for not giving them a partner, not realizing that their own social backwardness and inability to communicate was the problem. Instead of focusing on personal responsibility to make self-improvements, it was all placed on the magical granting of prayer requests.

    Giving one's will over to god is dangerous because it can lead people to trust the judgment of pastors and other outside people or personal impulses which are not subjected to analysis and questioning.

    Two of the most important tools a person can possess to result in successful relationships is a deep self-awareness that knows not only sexual orientation, but our every strength and weakness, and the ability to take responsibility for our choices. Some people are bi and could have a successful, healthy relationship with either gender, but some people would be psychologically and emotionally dismantled by being with someone they could not connect with sexually.

    I hope that clarifies why I reacted so negatively to the concept of this thread.

    To the bolded:

    That is why we should be so grateful we are not alone trying to figure it all out! You neglected to mention the best resource, which is God's word (the bible, commandments, etc.) and his word directly to us that comes when we pray. Pastors or others, and our own impulses and leanings, cannot reliably guide us to what is right for us because others are fallible and we are too.

    If I cannot make a move until I have deep self-awareness then I'm in a bit of a quandary, because I have never really known myself even though I have had times where I thought I did. Thankfully God knows me perfectly. That is why I rely on him to be in the driver's seat. Plus our weaknesses, strengths, and sexual orientation will change over time (hopefully! because who likes monotony and stagnation?), making those things unreliable as well.

    But if they would not be able to connect with them sexually, then they would never love them enough to in the first place. That is why it is imperative that LOVE lead, because then you know the sexuality from that will be pure. Sex first will not guarantee good love... and I choose the word 'good' here intently, because only God is good.



    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    Are you asking for trouble? I am bisexual myself, but this view you defend is just like heterosexuals and homosexuals often saying that bisexuality doesn't exist. Follow whatever is logic or true to you, but please don't make it a common rule for anyone else.
    Oh, and since you claim to not even be bisexual, then please I ask you kindly not to mess with issues that are foreign to your personal experience/suffering/feeling. You are just putting your finger on a sore that is already hurting. This kind of argument really doesn't help at all "the cause" that you are "theoretically" sustaining.

    Also: there are also asexual, or at least little sexual people. the level of sexuality, as well as the gender it is directed to, all fall under a continuum, it's not always black nor white; otherwise, it's not always grey either. So, not wanting to, your argument is quite discriminating of at least a group: asexual people.

    The highest attainable 'level' as a human being is to be as like God as possible, but in our own skins, in the life and body he has given us. Since we cannot really be like God--only Jesus could do that--we can ask to follow His will for us as much as we are able. Following God's will means keeping oneself open and available at all times~I find it wild that it is like the ultimate master/slave relationship: You would not tell your master you could not/would not do something he asked you to do! You would do it, trusting that he knew what was best for you. That is why trust is paramount, and why honesty is necessary.

    Every time we categorize ourselves, label ourselves, prescribe for ourselves, consign ourselves, resign ourselves to such-and-such a reality, we limit our relationship to our Father and we limit our own existence, and the existence of those we touch. We should live knowing our lives are not really 'ours' to do whatever we want with, our lives are God's to do with what he wills. Because he not only knows and is the ultimate Good, but he knows the ultimate Good for each of us.


    Love,

    ~Aphrodite
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  2. #92
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Heaven and all the saints preserve us from the zeal of the newly converted...

    It's like when smokers give up fags - if they have to do without, so fucking well should everyone else.
    I've often wondered if the degree to which fanatical zeal is present is inversely related to a person's confidence in their own faith...
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #93
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Like fia, I was taught all the Biblical stuff about sexuality as a young person. Unlike fia, I came away from it relatively unscathed. I feel very lucky to have done so. Like I narrowly dodged a bullet.

    I've seen a lot of casualties of those teachings. Maybe they aren't so dangerous for those who have some experience and know what is and is not realistic, reasonable, and helpful. For those of us who were taught some of this stuff while we were too young to know any better at the very least we have likely worked hard to overcome guilt and shame in association with sexual desires and relationships.

    And honestly, dismissing fia's experiences as if she did not think about stuff enough or try hard enough or examine her motives or maybe jumped into stuff without due consideration . . .
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #94
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    Heaven and all the saints preserve us from the zeal of the newly converted...

    It's like when smokers give up fags - if they have to do without, so fucking well should everyone else.
    I've often wondered if the degree to which fanatical zeal is present is inversely related to a person's confidence in their own faith...
    Oh, My Feisty Sex Kitten, put away those claws already, Momma is bloody enough.

    I quite do not see what you are talking about. How am I being fanatical?

    I am opening up sexuality not inhibiting it. I am putting the love back into making love. Sex, fucking, ripping each other apart, boy, girl, group, whatever, but do it in the name of love, but make sure that love is a righteous one, not a lustful one.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Like fia, I was taught all the Biblical stuff about sexuality as a young person. Unlike fia, I came away from it relatively unscathed. I feel very lucky to have done so. Like I narrowly dodged a bullet.

    I've seen a lot of casualties of those teachings. Maybe they aren't so dangerous for those who have some experience and know what is and is not realistic, reasonable, and helpful. For those of us who were taught some of this stuff while we were too young to know any better at the very least we have likely worked hard to overcome guilt and shame in association with sexual desires and relationships.

    And honestly, dismissing fia's experiences as if she did not think about stuff enough or try hard enough or examine her motives or maybe jumped into stuff without due consideration . . .
    I do not dismiss people so I'm sure you must not be talking about me here, Cafe.

    That is all.




    ~A
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  5. #95
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    748 sx/so
    Posts
    1,489

    Default

    you're doing it again. why do you have to put God in the middle of this? did you ask me if i believe in it? it's like you didn't know how to reply to what i said and inserted something completely random into the conversation. and again, you are being disrespectful because you assume that i believe in god. how can we have a normal logical conversation about any subject if you continue to pretend that what you believe in is a universal rule?
    i completely give up. take care, PG

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    The highest attainable 'level' as a human being is to be as like God as possible, but in our own skins, in the life and body he has given us. Since we cannot really be like God--only Jesus could do that--we can ask to follow His will for us as much as we are able. Following God's will means keeping oneself open and available at all times~I find it wild that it is like the ultimate master/slave relationship: You would not tell your master you could not/would not do something he asked you to do! You would do it, trusting that he knew what was best for you. That is why trust is paramount, and why honesty is necessary.

    Every time we categorize ourselves, label ourselves, prescribe for ourselves, consign ourselves, resign ourselves to such-and-such a reality, we limit our relationship to our Father and we limit our own existence, and the existence of those we touch. We should live knowing our lives are not really 'ours' to do whatever we want with, our lives are God's to do with what he wills. Because he not only knows and is the ultimate Good, but he knows the ultimate Good for each of us.


    Love,

    ~Aphrodite

  6. #96
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    "Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it."

  7. #97
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    hahaha. You guys make me sound sooooo puritan and zealous.

    I really don't get it. Why so defensive?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  8. #98
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    I don't know that anyone thinks you're a puritan. You don't seem puritan to me. You're kind of a confused/confusing mix of lascivious and judgmental about what you perceive as lasciviousness in others.

    As for zealous, you do seem that way- nobody's "making" you sound zealous. Your own words do. There is nothing necessarily wrong with zeal if it's for something worthwhile, though. That's why we have the word "overzealous."

    I can't speak for anyone but myself, but if I had been an active participant in this thread I'd be pretty resentful about my contributions being characterized as "defensive." Strenuous disagreement =/= defensiveness.

  9. #99
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    To the bolded:

    That is why we should be so grateful we are not alone trying to figure it all out! You neglected to mention the best resource, which is God's word (the bible, commandments, etc.) and his word directly to us that comes when we pray. Pastors or others, and our own impulses and leanings, cannot reliably guide us to what is right for us because others are fallible and we are too.
    It is possible to draw many unhealthy conclusions from the Bible about relationships including polygamy in the OT and those who practiced it being highly praised, and then Paul's rejection of sexuality in which his position is that it is best to stay single and preach the word, but if your sex drive is too strong, then it is better to be married than to sleep around, basically. Most concepts in the Bible about relationships also promote unequal partnerships in which the woman is to obey the man. Jesus was ahead of his time in the treatment of women, but much of the Bible presents harmful relationship scenarios.

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    If I cannot make a move until I have deep self-awareness then I'm in a bit of a quandary, because I have never really known myself even though I have had times where I thought I did. Thankfully God knows me perfectly. That is why I rely on him to be in the driver's seat. Plus our weaknesses, strengths, and sexual orientation will change over time (hopefully! because who likes monotony and stagnation?), making those things unreliable as well.
    This is good that you have the self-awareness. You have some assumptions here, like that sexual orientation changes over time. This is an unfounded statement and does not apply to everyone. I think the main issue some people, including myself, have with some of the statements you have made is that they are presented as universal truths, when it is clear they do not apply to everyone. There is no issue with these applying to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    But if they would not be able to connect with them sexually, then they would never love them enough to in the first place. That is why it is imperative that LOVE lead, because then you know the sexuality from that will be pure. Sex first will not guarantee good love... and I choose the word 'good' here intently, because only God is good.
    It is not only Christians, or even people who refer to "God" who value love connected with sex. This is true for Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Neo-Pagans, and many others, even some atheists. There are even perfectly reasoned approaches to only having sex when a meaningful connection is made. The concept that only god is love can lead people to devalue any compassion and kindness that is not associated with that label.

    It is possible to love someone without being able to connect sexually. While it is possible to connect sexually without love, you are orienting the two concepts in an unrealistic manner. There is a way the two need to intermingle.

    I'm wondering if some of your assumptions result from the whole inferior Se aspect of being an INFJ. I find my connection to the concrete world to be more fluid than most people, and I wonder if you are expressing some of this same way of processing.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #100
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,931

    Default

    All that agape talk and stuff makes me wonder whether you need an hormone replacement therapy.

Similar Threads

  1. When there is no personality to type.
    By Tabula in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-04-2010, 10:24 AM
  2. In Charity There is No Excess - Help Type Me!!
    By Applez in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-22-2010, 10:45 PM
  3. There is no such thing as personality.
    By ygolo in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-12-2009, 10:13 AM
  4. If IP is EJ then is IP IP or can it be IJ?
    By Xander in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 12-02-2008, 09:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO