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Would you cheat or condone cheating in order to be loyal?

Would you cheat or condone cheating in order to be loyal?

  • I would both cheat and condone cheating to be loyal.

    Votes: 2 15.4%
  • I would condone cheating, but not cheat, in order to loyal.

    Votes: 1 7.7%
  • I would cheat, but not condone cheating, in order to be loyal.

    Votes: 2 15.4%
  • I would neither cheat and condone cheating to be loyal.

    Votes: 8 61.5%

  • Total voters
    13

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
There are various scenarios where such choices come up. Perhaps, less contrived than the kill for a sacred act.

Would you cheat or condone cheating in order to be loyal?
 

jcloudz

Yup
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
1,525
MBTI Type
Istj
i kinda believe that people are going to find their way to the people they meant to be with, even if they place little rules up, even if they are already taken steps to make their temporary relationships last. its like they are sifting sorta. things are following a trajectory with happy little accidents along the way, just a matter of openness and time.

cheating is nothing.
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
Tell me more.

funny-pictures-102.jpg
 

Philosorapteuse

right on the left wing
Joined
Feb 7, 2012
Messages
217
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't actually view blind loyalty as a virtue. I don't see that being loyal to somebody regardless of what they do or how they behave is laudable. Seems unprincipled and mindless to me; loyalty's not a basic principle, there have to be reasons *why* you're loyal to someone/something. People have to earn my loyalty, and enough strikes will lose it again. (See also: I cannot believe the amount of bile directed as parents who turn their kids in for things like murder. I understand why some people wouldn't, and I'm not sure I blame them for it. But turning them in is still the right thing to do! It doesn't make it any better that you love them. I applaud anyone with the courage and strength of character to do that. They're heroes, not monsters.)

As for the question... I don't know. It's too broad and vague. What level of cheating are we tlaking, and how much does it matter? Would I cheat/condone cheating to get my best friend to pass an exam? No, I wouldn't. It won't actually help them in the end. Would I cheat at poker with a multi-millionnaire in order to save my best friend from bankruptcy? Yes, I think I might, though I'd really rather not. It depends so much on the specifics, which principles I'm violating.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
Yeah I still don't understand the question. Maybe I'm on a slow day, but why must one cheat or condone cheating to be loyal?
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
There might be a situation at which I would quietly so do something wrong for the benefit of another, but I wouldn't make that fact known to everyone and I would realize that I would have to pay the consequences of my choice AND I would discourage this behavior in others. I'd rather have to be the one to make the bad choice than someone else have too and pay for it.
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Sometimes its understandable, even if you dont condone it, that goes for more than just cheating. I dont know that anyone should EVER test your loyalty by confiding in you or involving you or using you for cover.

I have one very horrible experience in mind in which I was used for cover and someone (aswell as their bloudy family) got me very, very drunk, I was a punk kid too, and someone I was out with, misguidedly believing they were friendly and wanted to involve me in things, instead he was spending the night with someone who was pretending an interest in me as her cover, while I was passed out drunk in the guest room of his fiancee's house. Guy was engaged. I was at his wedding reception. So was the mistress. He was buying her drinks and sweet talking her while between speeches and dancing with his newly wed.

The other thing about this is that if I've known someone, been a friend of there's longer and never met or dont have a relationship with their spouse or fiancee or partner (not the scenario I just described though, I was an associate, acquaintence or workie of that user at the most) then its only logical I'll owe them a debt I dont owe their SO, although it doesnt mean I'm fine with the cheating, especially not if it turns into a real pattern of deviousness and I'm implicated or something.
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Possibly. I'd need to know the specifics (i.e. who's that person, what has that person done to me to deserve a favor, how much risk is involved, who would be impacted and how).
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Not really no. Right is right an I'm pretty unbiased about it.

But by "right" I mean my own definition of it.
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Cheating is messy. Its dishonest when one could be forthright and simple to save a pound of guilty feelings and heartache all around. All you have to say is "you're not doing it for me, despite our many attempts to work it out. Rather than cheat, I'm gonna leave."
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
Not as a principle, no, so I wouldn't condone it in others (unconditional loyalty to the point of cheating or engaging in other ethically suspect activities.) That said, if I felt that I had reason to be loyal to somebody in the moment, and I made that my goal, then I would probably use any means necessary to achieve it, up to and including cheating.

So I suppose I simply do not think loyalty or honesty should be treated as principles.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
I cheated on my love when we first got together bc of something I dont want to get into (simply put, a miscommunication), but I will say that we never truly made love until I told him two years later. He is my life and we are so incredibly strong after weathering that.

That said, it's a deep lesson to be learned, and once you go through it, you would never be as fucking stupid as you once were.

Peace n love

D
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
I wouldnt myself and I resent being put in that position to help others esp if I know their partner will be hurt. The whole scenario of your friends knowing you cheated and keeping it a secret from your so while you all mutually hang out and they smile in his/her face just makes assholes out of everyone.

My stance on this has changed since my early 20s.m I have definitely felt the temptation to help someone cheat on their so with them but was able to turn them down and "do the right thing". Having experienced intense temptation and opportunity myself I feel like I realistically know "what it feels like" and it's not enough of an excuse for me. I have high standards for myself and I apply that to others.

I don't even like some of my friends so's but I still would not help them cheat. There are better ways to cope with relationship stress. I'd want my friends to be better people.
 

mooseantlers

Knobgoblin
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
322
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9
Condone cheating to be loyal? That makes absolutely no sense, that's saying, here, go cheat, so I won't.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Depends on one's definition of loyalty, I suppose.

Fidelity is in my definition of loyalty, as is keeping promises. I'd want my partner to 'promise' not to cheat, and I would promise the same. But if we were swingers or something of that nature, we wouldn't be making such promises.
My answer is no. Not anymore. Loyalty seems like a one way street anyways.
Seriously. The same mentality that condones cheating could (could!) very well lead straight to bad things like "getting taken advantage of" or "getting left holding the bag."
 
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