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  1. #81
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    I think often of suicide, actually. I've been depressed of late, and when i feel depressed, hopeless, powerless, and generally uninspired I think thoughts (silly perhaps), such as, "Why am I still on the planet? I'm breathing oxygen other people could be using?!" But I do find that these periods pass, and I have always liked the statement, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". But if it ever came to pass that I were diagnosed with a fatal illness (as though life itself isn't fatal!), I'm fairly certain that I'd cash in my chips. Just don't think I'd be too unhappy about the prospect of dying either. Good topic!

  2. #82
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Definitely, when I was younger. Very regularly, during a time in my life when I lacked a satisfying level of control. If you feel that way, my advice is to gather up responsibilities. Get busy and be productive, and your self esteem will build slowly but surely.

  3. #83
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Yeah, when i was 19. I didn't want to live and truly believed people (kids) would be better off without me.

    It is unfortunate to live in a mind so bleak and confined by ones own perceptions that death is/was the only option to end the misery.

    With the help of a good psychiatrist, he helped me change my perceptions. I still have odd times where i think about it, but i couldn't act on it.

    The dark times pass eventually and light comes flooding in .. I now see it an honour to be here, experiencing the rough with the smooth .. Life is worth living.

  4. #84
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    I have thought about it. At one point (a long time ago), I decided that was it, I was going to do myself in. I figured that the world would be better off without me.
    Then I thought, now that I've decided to do it, how will I do it.
    Well, I could shoot myself.
    Um. No. First of all, I don't have a gun. Second of all, I am in favor of gun control and I don't want to die a hypocrite. So that was out.
    Then I thought... how about a knife. Um. No. Yuck. Too messy. Lots of blood. Ewwwwwww.
    The next thought was... I could jump off of the bridge into the river. No!!! I'm afraid of heights. I wouldn't even get on the bridge, much less throw myself off of it. That, for sure, is not a plan.
    How about lots of pills?
    No. If I survive, I'll have to get my stomach pumped. That's disgusting!!!
    Oh! I know. Old age!!! I'll get really old and croak. Slow but effective.
    And that was the end of my plan for suicide. The decision making process was slow and arduous that I had forgotten why I was depressed. I ate chocolate instead.
    Much later, I realized, I obviously wasn't very serious about suicide. I really have never wanted to kill myself but I tend to get melodramatic at times. My thoughts of suicide have always very nonserious.
    And, since then, a friend killed himself. I was heartbroken about it. I went to his memorial service and everyone was heartbroken. He was a wonderful, talented photographer. The world is worse off without him.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  5. #85
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I have tried... I obviously did not succeed. It makes me suspect that I'm impervioius to overdoses of prescription meds mixed with alcohol I was in treatment for PTSD at the time and really just wanted out of my life- I really didn't want to be anymore- no more thoughts.

    I have no ethical problem with it, though you have to concern yourself about the people you leave behind... that's why I put effort into making it look like an accident

    My life has moved on now though- in a positive direction
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #86
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Do you know why we react this way to people passing, because we can sense the spirit has left the body and what is left is a shell. This shell is then a reaction to the core fears associated with our own mortality. Do you know why we react this way when living, because we can sense internal conflict in our body from external sources without aligning to our spirit. This shell then reacts strongly to the core fears associated with mortality.

    Easy answer there, of course its a fear based reaction in response to the human condition and the construction of our realities from a mind body soul perspective. When the mind is in a separation consciousness from the spirit and the body through experiences and trauma sustained throughout life from environmental sources as well as personal sources then this activator of release is such that circumstances lead to a flight or fight response in the fear that is associated with disconnect that is happening. On a health level this disparity becomes the most pronounced and dis-ease as some would ascribe is a dismissible state of unease from the spirit to the mind to the body. In which instance the causation is entirely outward an absorption of the conflicting distortions of others and then an inward absorption of the ills, plural, of the vacancy and illusion life has become through the agency of toxicity. Instead of becoming into a state of welbeing, becoming inclusive of the we in the I-perspective of the I-function.

    This anxious reaction comes from a source and it is always in physicality that the source self perpetuates the motions of disconnect and that is a disconnect from ourselves and from others when life brings you down. And that is something then for I do know this feeling intimately well. Its a human reaction to being human in a state of overwhealment when the emotional scale of thoughts remains unexpressed and undelivered in times when the falsification of the attitude the psychiatric community have towards restoring the interconnected structure of the mind and body is just that disconnected without the spirit.

    You know I went to Grow on occasion, a support group for depressed people and the feeling I got when I went was of death. Its strange, and I knew the falsity of such support as I knew the falsity of the modalities of what goes on in the treatment of and often hushed reaction towards this precept. That when the environment pushes poison like sugar and fluoride that depletes our bodies ability to restore a healthy functioning balance in our endocrine system. Without the necessary building blocks that are consistently washed away like magnesium and iodine. Then why am I not surprised that out of the human population, 6 billion+, a great many would have thought about suicide at some stage in their life when life looked grim. When their body was under performing from a nutritional perspective, from a financial perspective, from a dis-ease, from circumstance, health, trauma, isolation etc.

  7. #87
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    The idea of suicide comforts me actually.

    A lot of people seem to be under the impression that suicide is the coward's way out, which may be the case in some cultures - but to me it seems as if they person is willing to kill their body, their mind is already dead.

  8. #88
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    I've tried, obviously failed as I am still here.

    For me, I simply just wasn't myself at the time, and it wasn't just a 'oh it's an off day I'm not feeling like myself' thing...I really became an entirely different person for almost a year that I scared myself, and those thoughts weren't my own...it's weird to explain. So much shit was happening in my life that I became this person which in every aspect I loathed, I'm really not sure what happened. It's all a blur to me now, and my memory just erased that period of time altogether.

  9. #89
    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    A guy recently committed suicide at my college campus, he had been dating one of my good friends and killed himself when she broke it off with him. I couldn't help but be more concerned about my friend than about his death. I know that many of you have mentioned thoughts of suicide, and I've never actually had this thought before (although I was into harming myself for awhile in high school)... I can't help but think that suicide, especially in the recent case at my school, is selfish. I would think too much about the effect that it would have on those around me. He left my friend, someone he supposedly "loved," feeling as though she was the cause of his death. Nothing will ever be the same for her again. That doesn't compute as an action of love to me.

    I was talking to a professor about the incident later... She said that when she was younger, she had thought about committing suicide purely for "logical reasons." She told her father and he said "no," so she dropped it. I thought that was an interesting suicide story.

    What are your thoughts on suicide as a "selfish" or "logical" act?

  10. #90
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    ^ That was an act of revenge, blackmail and depression.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyli_ryan View Post
    What are your thoughts on suicide as a "selfish" or "logical" act?
    Its neither yet its both.

    What I was getting at earlier is that most people that go through such a state are in a state of disconnect, out of alignment with their physicality through agency that is changeable every time.

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