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  1. #1

    Default Loss, its inevitability and copeing

    How do you cope with loss? Do you anticipate loss? If you anticipate it do you prepare yourself against its inevitability? Is it something which accompanies all relationships or attachments? Would you ever eschew a particular attachment or relationship because of the possibility of loss?

  2. #2
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    How do you cope with loss?
    Loss makes me sad. I cry and long for the time I had what I lost. Yet I realize that loss is a part of life and things don't last forever. So eventually I move on.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Do you anticipate loss?
    Yes. In some situations, loss is to be expected. Chances are I'll outlive my parents, therefore the possibility of losing them is very likely.
    Another example is regarding work. No job is 100% secure so I anticipate the possibility of layoff. I try to avoid taking jobs that have low security though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    If you anticipate it do you prepare yourself against its inevitability?
    Yes. I imagine myself without the person or thing I very much love and think about how I'll deal without it. That way when the loss happens, its not quite as intensely painful.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Is it something which accompanies all relationships or attachments? Would you ever eschew a particular attachment or relationship because of the possibility of loss?
    I think for many relationships, loss is to be expected. Many people go through several relationships before they find the 'right one'. The rest results in breakup and/or heartache. Chances are you'll outlive your parents, so you will experience loss there.

    I would never eschew my relationship with my parents even though I know loss is very likely. Likewise I know that when I grow old, I'll lose many of my faculties that I take for granted now. I also know I'll die eventually and I'll lose everything I've come to love about life. It still doesn't stop me from enjoying what life has to offer today.

    On the other hand, if the risk of loss is too great over a shorter term, then I'm likely to not get involved. I'm not likely to get involved with a person who is not being very faithful and having lots of affairs. The risk of loss is too great. I'm not likely to take a job in a company known to have a large number of layoffs.
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  3. #3
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I do anticipite loss, and it isolated me.

  4. #4
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    It's hard to cope with loss without letting go. If one anticipates loss and prepares for it by coping, then they may not feel possessive of that object anymore. In a way, you can choose to lose before what's lost is actually lost. For instance, if I were to prepare for my parents dying, they may be still alive, but I would release my hold of them. Not so much as to ignore them, but at least enough to not be struck by the same sort of grief that would normally accompany a deep feeling of loss. It's quite normal to have barriers in the way, making it difficult for many people to accept tragedy.

    In some ways, we tend to feel like we're not reaping enough satisfaction from our friends/loved ones/belongings unless whatever it is is ours. Coping with loss isn't so much about letting go of things as it is letting go of shitty, self perpetuating feelings that sometimes convince us we own other people.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    How do you cope with loss? Do you anticipate loss? If you anticipate it do you prepare yourself against its inevitability? Is it something which accompanies all relationships or attachments? Would you ever eschew a particular attachment or relationship because of the possibility of loss?
    I cope better than most when it comes to loss, generally I will think about whatever I have lost a lot more than I usually would; including memories and imagining how things could have been different. Some may say I over analyse what happened and let it effect me too much but I find that dealing with it head on rather than ignoring it is definitely more helpful.

    I don't tend to anticipate loss and prefer to deal with it when/if it happens, naturally it does depend on the strength of the attachment but this mostly effects the length of time it takes to deal with it

    Loss has never stopped me from doing anything

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