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An unlived life, really living

Octarine

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If someone is unable to access certain environments, they must find ways of truly living in the environments accessible to them. My SO's grandmother was a master at this, as her health declined and she was able to do less and less. I suspect she would have said she was "really living", right up until the day she died.

The real question is how to do that.
 

Orangey

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As is true of pretty much everyone, it doesn't really feel like you're living life unless you're using the full capacity of your powers to accomplish goals that you set yourself, independent of any coercive factors (like money, stability, duty, etc.,.)
 

Saslou

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I've always believed that by trying new experiences i am living. But over the last year or so, i feel like i am plodding and wasting the best years of my life. This is why i'm looking within instead of without to find fulfilment.

I suppose if you have goals it makes it easier, i am trying to assess what my goals are .. Thats hard when you have never really had any other than taking advantage of opportunities as they've arisen.

The thought that comes to mind now is, how does one know they are using the full capacity of their powers?
 

giegs

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It's a fair question. It has nothing to do with guilt unless you make it so, which it appears you have. That tells me more than it would had you actually answered it.

Incorrect on both counts. I am incapable of knowing what we (being not me) all will say with regards to my newly incapacitated self. Since the question is obviously meaningless as phrased, it appears to be a simple baiting attempt. If you had managed to come up with a meaningful question such as "How would you feel if it happened to you and we all said 'Too bad for you'?" I might have considered answering. As for the second part, hah. Playing psychology on the internets is fun! Of course it's entirely possible you meant something different than my interpretation...


Rather than discussing how all of these people with conditions and situations none of us can presumably speak of from a position of much authority, what about those among us with 9-5 jobs, a life in the suburbs, and a generally established trajectory up to death?

As for how can you tell if you're living up to your potential/using your powers, I'm not sure it's possible to tell for yourself. If you haven't seen it already watch the 60 minutes special on Alex Honnold. By all means the guy is living at the absolute peak of human performance and capability. A true master of his craft, but very humble. It's possible that living up to your potential requires never achieving the complacency implicit in thinking you've lived up to your potential.
 

KDude

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I think people make too big a deal out of "life" and purpose. I know I have at times. There's always this longing for it to be some big grand adventure and I get to be the star of my own action story. And if I don't get it, I end up miserable.

But it's all bullshit. I think I'm better off just reminding myself to enjoy where I'm at. Even if it's nothing, and I'm not slaying dragons or drinking shots off the bellies off two dozen naked blondes. There's no ultimate purpose for the great majority of human beings. We die and end up forgotten.. if not sooner, then later. Even the most accomplished people end up forgotten. Walk into the typical library, find thousands upon thousands of books written about all of these people - and guess what? Hardly anyone gives a shit. The library is practically empty.

Eh, I have some bigger point to this beyond cynicism, but now I'm getting tired. Take it as you will.
 

Orangey

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I think people make too big a deal out of "life" and purpose. I know I have at times. There's always this longing for it to be some big grand adventure and I get to be the star of my own action story. And if I don't get it, I end up miserable.

But it's all bullshit. I think I'm better off just reminding myself to enjoy where I'm at. Even if it's nothing, and I'm not slaying dragons or drinking shots off the bellies off two dozen naked blondes. There's no ultimate purpose for the great majority of human beings. We die and end up forgotten.. if not sooner, then later. Even the most accomplished people end up forgotten. Walk into the typical library, find thousands upon thousands of books written about all of these people - and guess what? Hardly anyone gives a shit. The library is practically empty.

Eh, I have some bigger point to this beyond cynicism, but now I'm getting tired. Take it as you will.

I think you may be confusing hedonism with "living to your fullest potential."
 

KDude

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I think you may be confusing hedonism with "living to your fullest potential."

lol.. those probably weren't the best ways to illustrate anything. i was just trying to be brief and [badly] symbolic. perhaps naked blondes was FAIL.

i still think it's all bullshit. hedonism or not. you could be martin luther king, and still get your legacy twisted. few care about whether your life was purposeful or not. the world spins around and has the same old problems it's always going to have.
 

entropie

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As long as there is music

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss-zFDgOXEQ&feature=related"].[/YOUTUBE]
 

KDude

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As long as there is music

That brings up something that applies to me. I'm a musician - but I'm not an entertainer. It's for my own happiness/therapy/what have you. Over the years, I've had people want me to do more with it. And when I was young, I had the same rockstar dreams every kid does. But I'm cool with not doing anything with it now. Maybe this sounds like I'm not living up to some potential, but as far as I'm concerned, potential is just picking up an instrument and playing something, and hopefully creating or learning something new. To no end, except that.

We live in a culture where even this is not enough - where an activity has to be some further means to a dream or shaking the world up. It's ridiculous. I don't need to do anything. Music is enjoyable enough on it's own. There have been thousands of poets and musicians throughout history who never did anything either. Maybe the bards of their town, or the drunk on the piano hanging out at some saloon. They didn't have to be "great artists" or rockstars. And hell, even the majority of those who become rockstars often are forgotten too. Their shit eventually ends up in the bargain bin at some half price CD store. IF that. CD stores are dying too.

It all sounds like cynicism probably, but I'm actually just trying to enjoy the simple things.
 

entropie

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That brings up something that applies to me. I'm a musician - but I'm not an entertainer. It's for my own happiness/therapy/what have you. Over the years, I've had people want me to do more with it. And when I was young, I had the same rockstar dreams every kid does. But I'm cool with not doing anything with it now. Maybe this sounds like I'm not living up to some potential, but as far as I'm concerned, potential is just picking up an instrument and playing something, and hopefully creating or learning something new. To no end, except that.

We live in a culture where even this is not enough - where an activity has to be some further means to a dream or shaking the world up. It's ridiculous. I don't need to do anything. Music is enjoyable enough on it's own. There have been thousands of poets and musicians throughout history who never did anything either. Maybe the bards of their town, or the drunk on the piano hanging out at some saloon. They didn't have to be "great artists" or rockstars. And hell, even the majority of those who become rockstars often are forgotten too. Their shit eventually ends up in the bargain bin at some half price CD store. IF that. CD stores are dying too.

It all sounds like cynicism probably, but I'm actually just trying to enjoy the simple things.

Welcome to my world
 

Orangey

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i still think it's all bullshit. hedonism or not. you could be martin luther king, and still get your legacy twisted. few care about whether your life was purposeful or not. the world spins around and has the same old problems it's always going to have.

Your "legacy" or how other people view your accomplishments has nothing to do with whether you are living your life to the fullest.

That brings up something that applies to me. I'm a musician - but I'm not an entertainer. It's for my own happiness/therapy/what have you. Over the years, I've had people want me to do more with it. And when I was young, I had the same rockstar dreams every kid does. But I'm cool with not doing anything with it now. Maybe this sounds like I'm not living up to some potential, but as far as I'm concerned, potential is just picking up an instrument and playing something, and hopefully creating or learning something new. To no end, except that.

That is my definition of living life to the fullest. It's directing yourself, under no coercion, into activities that you do because you enjoy them as an end in themselves.

We live in a culture where even this is not enough - where an activity has to be some further means to a dream or shaking the world up. It's ridiculous. I don't need to do anything.

That's certainly true, which is why it is difficult to live life to the fullest under our present conditions.

Music is enjoyable enough on it's own. There have been thousands of poets and musicians throughout history who never did anything either. Maybe the bards of their town, or the drunk on the piano hanging out at some saloon. They didn't have to be "great artists" or rockstars. And hell, even the majority of those who become rockstars often are forgotten too. Their shit eventually ends up in the bargain bin at some half price CD store. IF that. CD stores are dying too.

Making money and pursuing music because you enjoy it are two entirely different goals. In some cases they may intersect (though, IMO, that may be an illusion to cover the fact that the money goal has taken first priority), but fame and fortune are just things we think we should have in order to have really "lived."



It all sounds like cynicism probably, but I'm actually just trying to enjoy the simple things.[/QUOTE]
 

KDude

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We're probably on the same page, Orangey. Closer than not.

If Destiny finds me, I guess I'm not going to fight it. I might even be grateful (depending whether it kills me or not). But I'm not out to search for it myself. I've decided that's a fool's game.
 

wolfy

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Last weekend I went to a mountain I'd never been to the base of and knew nothing about, eyed a line and started climbing up its features, alone and untethered. I experienced a full range of emotions on the way up and back down and generally had a great time. 5 hours later I stood at the top having done something new in this world on a whim. It still makes me smile. At the same time I'm reminded of Hemingway. Something to the effect of don't talk about it, it only serves to ruin it. Same idea comes up in Cool Hand Luke.

Nice post. I've noticed this, that talking about an experience can diminish its power in your mind. There is some power in keeping what you are going to do to yourself as well.

What's everyone's thoughts and feelings on this topic?

It is always something creative, some project. Or some kind of adventure done with others.
 

lauranna

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Your "legacy" or how other people view your accomplishments has nothing to do with whether you are living your life to the fullest.



That is my definition of living life to the fullest. It's directing yourself, under no coercion, into activities that you do because you enjoy them as an end in themselves.



That's certainly true, which is why it is difficult to live life to the fullest under our present conditions.



Making money and pursuing music because you enjoy it are two entirely different goals. In some cases they may intersect (though, IMO, that may be an illusion to cover the fact that the money goal has taken first priority), but fame and fortune are just things we think we should have in order to have really "lived."



It all sounds like cynicism probably, but I'm actually just trying to enjoy the simple things.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah I totally agree with the SPs around here. But maybe the definition of truly living is different for these NTs.

As far as I'm concerned to feel truly alive is to 'feel' something. To do something for the sheer joy of doing it. For the sheer love of being alive. For me it is sport and adrenaline. I never feel more alive than when i am on the rugby pitch. I love to run. I love the excitement, the adrenaline, the moment of big impact where you feel the hit throughout your body. I even love the next day when i feel all my muscles ache and I see the bruises and the scars and the evidence that I am alive.

There must be something you love to do. If its singing, go back and do it for the love of doing it. Sometimes when things get too serious and the pressure to perform is too much then it takes the fun out of it. I know it got like that for me with rugby.

But yeah... have fun!!

On a separate note, rough sex makes me feel really alive! I guess it is a similar physicality thing!
 

lauranna

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Here is a quote i was looking for which says what i was trying to say. Not that i expect everyone to take up rugby... but you know... it works for me!

"In our country, true teams rarely exist ... social barriers and personal ambitions have reduced athletes to dissolute cliques or individuals thrown together for mutual profit ... Yet these rugby players, with their muddied, cracked bodies, are struggling to hold onto a sense of humanity that we in America have lost and are unlikely to regain. The game may only be to move a ball forward on a dirt field, but the task can be accomplished with an unshackled joy and its memories will be a permanent delight. The women and men who play on that rugby field are more alive than too many of us will ever be. The foolish emptiness we think we perceive in their existence is only our own." - Victor Cahn
 

tinker683

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For me: Time spent with my friends, and good music

Friends because I'll be sitting in the kitchen with my roommates and watching them carrying on or something and I'll realize, "These are the moments I live for. These are the moments I'm going to remember my life at"

Good music because music, for me, is like an anchor. There are albums in my life which defined moments in my life or help me to remember it by. Every time I hear a song from Disturbed's "Believe" album I think of my time in college. When I hear Korn I think of high school, when I hear Randy Travis or Garth Brooks I think about my country music kick when I was in elementary school. Sometimes I like to listen to video game music as it makes me think of the first time I played them, or of a time during my younger years back when things were so simple.

Sorry got side tracked.

To answer the question though: This was actually one of the sore spots of my depression. I used to think that because I enjoyed the things that I did (books, movies, video games, stories, etc) that I was somehow a defected or flunked human being because I didn't go out and party and do crazy stupid things or go on wild, unpredictable trips and shit like that. Apparently I "wasn't living".

And I take issue with that. I'm happy doing the things that I do, I take a great deal of pleasure in the things I like to do, so whose to say I'm not living? If I'm a happy, content individual with goals and I'm moving toward them then as far as I'm concerned, I'm living life.

Now sure, my day to day things are really mundane but so what? That's just where my life is right now. I have no idea if 10 years from now I'll still have the same routine. I may be at a different location, I may be married and/or have kids, I might be really well off or horridly poor...I just don't know.

But I want to keep moving forward and so that's what I'm going to keep doing :)
 
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