Why do i do this?

[Illmatic]

I tell my friends which i'm close with everything. There might be something really private that i shouldn't tell anyone but yet i always end up telling them then after like 5 mins i start regretting it, idk why i do. I always tell myself 'nahh you're not gonna tell anyone' but then when a close friend comes and we talk i just tell them, idk why but it's annoying.

When i get close to someone i even tell them stuff about other people that i ain't meant to tell.

I talk to someone and i get really trusting, i trust really easy but i ALWAYS regret it after like 'you stupid idiot, why the fuck wud u do that'.

- Am i doing it for sympathy?
- Am i doing it for a little attention my way?
- Am i doing it so that i can hope that they trust me too?
- Am i doing it cause i have nothing to talk about?


Why?

 

[Sanctus Iacobus]

Sharing secrets can form a bond, but being the only one to know is a burden

 

[Illmatic]

i just tell too many people. I hate it.

 

[Sanctus Iacobus]

You may enjoy expressing secrets because it gives you a sense of value in your social identity

 

[Amargith]

You feel the need to be bonded closely with someone. It's human
And since you probably don't trust anyone (I'm making assumptions here, stop me if I'm wrong), you're likely to feel a bit alone. So when you do meet someone who you click with, you go overboard

You just need to learn to pace yourself a bit. I usually play the quid pro quo game: you share something, then I share something similar..that way a genuine bond can be established. Along the way you evaluate whether or not this is a kind of person you can a) trust (by evaluating their reactions to your 'smaller' secrets and b) are compatible with (share common ground and values). It can take a few tries before you find the right people for this (which can cause you to spill the beans to those that aren't perhaps suited for it, and you know it, but you need to tell *someone*).

I've had people who barely know me, spill the beans coz they feel safe with me, coz they feel a click with me. And they have no idea whether or not I'll use this against them. I've done this myself as well, and you feel antsy and scared afterwards coz you have no clue whether or not you didn't a) burden the person and b) can trust them with that info.

Live and learn

Make the effort to find a friend you can trust with that kind of info *now*, so that when you actually do feel the urge, you have somewhere to go...and be sure to offer the same in return. It's only fair. Otherwise, you're likely to vent to the wrong person when you have nowhere to go.