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  1. #11
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I find it next to impossible to swallow the fact that life is not inherently fair.

    I find it difficult to let go of past hurts. Same with stupid and embarrassing things I've done or said. Even if its long in the past and very minor, the thought of it still periodically comes back to haunt me.
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Envy.

    Sometimes there's so much of it that it can actually become physically exhausting.
    I don't ignore it because I can't, but I've only started trying to overcome it a year ago.

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Too much stuff...

    - I hate to admit this because I hate competition & jealousy & I see this as leading to that (although I don't think this tendency in me leads to that ), but I can be very resentful of things people have/do that I want for myself. It's not that I don't want them to have/do it, but I always think, "Why not me also?!!!".
    "Two lovers entwined pass me by, and heaven knows I'm miserable now".

    - I have to fight the feeling that everyone has it easier than me in life and that I am somehow defective & cursed, that everything will always be harder for me.

    - I want BAD stuff to happen to people who do me wrong. I'm not actively vindictive, but I have vengeful fantasies that don't exactly help me to move on.

    - Romanticizing my flaws & melancholy feelings to the point that I think changing them means losing who I am.

    - General self-doubt, negative self-defeating predictions of not meeting my ideals, hopelessness, feeling out of control.

    - Impatience with slow improvements in life & taking a critical eye to everything, zeroing in on what is lacking.

    - Elitist attitudes, including resentment towards other for their achievements because deep down I feel I am better, but just misunderstood (probably because I'm sooo far above their heads- riiiight).

    I find self-awareness my best tool (first step is admitting it, right?), and then immediate correction of the thoughts in my own head, followed by productive action.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #14
    Senior Member Vizzy's Avatar
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    My inner demon tells me that I shouldn't bother trying to look good, that no sane guy will choose me over every other girl, and that I'm no more competent than the next person.
    As a result, I dress casually and avoid looking like I'm trying hard, assert to others and myself that I don't need a relationship, and play down all my attributes and abilities.
    I accept it all and I'm pretty peaceful...or so I seem.
    5w4
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  5. #15
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    avoiding conflict

  6. #16
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    I find it next to impossible to swallow the fact that life is not inherently fair.

    I find it difficult to let go of past hurts. Same with stupid and embarrassing things I've done or said. Even if its long in the past and very minor, the thought of it still periodically comes back to haunt me.
    Me too!

    I would say, overall, it fits the Beebe archetype, where the "Demon" is connected with the function opposite the dominant, but in the same orientation; which is Fi.
    So this is an inner sense of integrity and worth, that is unconsciously but strongly piqued especially by [perceived] attacks to the inferior perspective it is shadowing.

    Firness, for instance, particularly for us, would stem from a dominant Ti perspective, of impersonal (technical) things such as symmetry. This is reflected on the humane side by the opposite Fe perspective, where we expect the same respect from others, and subconsciously stake our own sense of worth on it. When people don't comply, we feel attacked, devalued, and are just torn apart by "the injustice of it all" (unfairness).
    This becomes internalized, so thus generates a very negative Fi perspective, which becomes our "personal demon". We can't let go of the injustice or any other slight, or even our own genuine blunders, which seems to go along with everything else we're reacting to. Thus, also, guilt feelings, overly put off or feeling threatened by the moralistic posture of others, etc.

    Beebe associated an ITP's feelings of "anger and rage and ambition and aggression as well as with greed and desire" tha"turns upon itself, morbidly; we are envious, jealous, depressed, feeding our needs and their immediate gratification...", as "a description of demonic introverted feeling in an introverted thinking type".
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

    Temperament (APS) from scratch -- MBTI Type from scratch
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  7. #17
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    Ugh my demon is my reactivity...but IRL people PRAISE ME FOR IT. It's because I am soooo quiet and easy to get along with so much of the time, then they want to high five me when I directly confront some jackass who is bothering everyone. My family does this, some of my friends do it, a few people even did it THIS MORNING.

    But my reactivity can get the better of me, which can lead to negativity, which is bullshit. I am working on it with Taoism and I'm meditating and trying to work on it, I really am.

    According to the Tao, your worst weakness can be harnessed and be applied as a unique strength you have. That's my goal.

  8. #18
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    I refer to my demon as hearing damage, or even more sincerely, egoism. I can't get rid of it though, because the symbioses we live in would destroy me as well.

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