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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I probably would have loved that "Rosepetal Cottage" when I was a kid, too.
    We have that! Kicky runs into it and hides, and also spies on us from the window.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    Isn't the Bud Light commercial more insulting to men?
    Isn't that still sexist?

  2. #32
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Isn't that still sexist?
    It is, but the article below it reads:

    How can a woman make her marriage work? By doing all the chores, leaving her husband free to hang out with his friends, and frequently surprising him with cases of Bud Light. Something to think about on your wedding day.
    Which is kind of missing the mark.

  3. #33
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimrckhnd View Post
    That is a very good observation.

    The female half of a couple of my acquaintance is a classic ”nag” using guilt and sheer emotional attrition to manipulate and control her fiancé. I remember thinking once that her MO was remarkably similar to that of a male spousal abuser: controlling schedule, social interactions, reducing contacts with friends and family, etc.. An insight I didn’t follow up on and had sort of forgotten till this thread came up. Doh!!

    What is kind of interesting is she doesn't use that type of approach with other men in her orbit: with me she's very pleasant and polite. I wonder if she uses some type of emotional intelligence to determine who is a candidate for manipulation or... did she just find out it works with her partner and the more it works, the more she uses it.
    Great point. Emotional abuse is still abuse.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    That's very true. I also don't think nagging is a sex-linked trait- we just don't tend to call it "nagging" when men do it. We call it pestering or controlling.

    I also think it perpetuates an unnecessarily adversarial concept of M/F relationships.
    Indeedy! Also, notice that women don't "complain". When they do, it's just "that time of the month" or they're being "hysterical". Only us MEN can have legitimate complaints, bay-bee!

  5. #35
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    The best part of the Goodyear tire commercial was at the end, when the wifey slides over so the man can take over the wheel and drive home. Very typical of that timeframe.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #36
    Senior Member Helios's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I consider myself a feminist, and some people might even consider me quite an outspoken one
    You'll want to stop that.

  7. #37
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    If a man watching the commercial cared about the woman, would it make it suspenseful?
    I have no problem with a man worrying about his wife's safety because he cares about her. The sexist part of this commercial is that he's worried about her because the world is too overwhelming for her female brain and reflexes. And plays into stereotypes about women not being able to drive. Replace it with another stereotype and see if it's still sweet: "But when an Asian is at the wheel..." Patronizing? Offensive? Yep. You can care about the Asian person in question, but it still makes it a dumb and offensive stereotype. (Yes, PeaceBaby! Good observation about sliding over so the man can drive!)

    Mkenya, I understand that the rules have changed, and lots of men are left confused. Heck, I'm confused sometimes because my dad was a mix of the protective, chivalric man, and a man who raised me to believe I could do anything a man could do. So it was weird to me to find out most guys seem to be either/or because of the mixed messages in society. :-) There's nothing wrong with a man being a bit protective of a woman because he loves her, in my eyes. But if he's being protective because he thinks she's too weak and stupid to make it in the world, it becomes offensive. It's the intention.
    Something Witty

  8. #38
    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I have no problem with a man worrying about his wife's safety because he cares about her. The sexist part of this commercial is that he's worried about her because the world is too overwhelming for her female brain and reflexes. And plays into stereotypes about women not being able to drive. Replace it with another stereotype and see if it's still sweet: "But when an Asian is at the wheel..." Patronizing? Offensive? Yep. You can care about the Asian person in question, but it still makes it a dumb and offensive stereotype.
    Yeah, it seemed pretty damn obvious to me that the big scary part was supposed to be that the driver was a woman. The end of the commercial made that clear: "When a woman's at the wheel...." Emphasis on the word 'woman'. Not "When someone you love is at the wheel...", which would have been fine or even "When your wife's at the wheel..." which would have been more ambiguous. And the dramatic music and fast cuts made it seem like a woman driving was some unusual, edge-of-your-seat dangerous event. I saw this a few years ago and went, wow.

  9. #39
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    The best part of the Goodyear tire commercial was at the end, when the wifey slides over so the man can take over the wheel and drive home. Very typical of that timeframe.
    Not only does she slide over but the music goes from being choppy and suspenseful to smooth and melodious, she goes from looking scared and wide-eyed to smiling and looking relaxed, there's several little cues to indicate they're 'home safe' now that he is behind the wheel.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Actually... the Bud Light one is kind of self-aware. I mean, they've got the two male ad execs holding hands and crying at the beautiful message in the end, and the female execs (there are female execs! that's good!) looking at them like they're idiots.
    Yeah, I thought the same thing about the Mayhem ad as well- that it’s exaggerated to the point of making fun of the attitude that makes fun of stereotypes.

    Overall it’s ads like the Axe commercial that bother me- and that particular ad listed is far from being the worst because (again) it’s so extreme (hoards of scantily clad, young and beautiful women gathering from afar because of a scent?) that it almost makes fun of itself. It’s the ones that seem to fly under the radar (don’t stand out as especially sexist per se) but still have strong objectifying messages that really bother me. At least the exaggerated ones make a lot of people think “wtf?” and bring a little bit of awareness (however tiny) to the table. I mean- that coffee ad almost certainly flew under the radar at the time- and stuff like that can shape a woman's idea of what she's supposed (and shape what 'society' is saying a woman is supposed to be) to be if it doesn't stand out as particularly questionable.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimrckhnd View Post
    That is a very good observation.

    The female half of a couple of my acquaintance is a classic ”nag” using guilt and sheer emotional attrition to manipulate and control her fiancé. I remember thinking once that her MO was remarkably similar to that of a male spousal abuser: controlling schedule, social interactions, reducing contacts with friends and family, etc.. An insight I didn’t follow up on and had sort of forgotten till this thread came up. Doh!!

    What is kind of interesting is she doesn't use that type of approach with other men in her orbit: with me she's very pleasant and polite. I wonder if she uses some type of emotional intelligence to determine who is a candidate for manipulation or... did she just find out it works with her partner and the more it works, the more she uses it.
    It's not interesting at all that she doesn't use the same behavior with other men. She's not interested in those other men, and whatever insecurity she has or jealousy only pertains to her significant other.

    Genearally insecurity and jealousy are at the heart of controlling behavior. And of course the more out of control and unreasonable it is, the more abusive it becomes, like in terms of violence and things.

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