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Ask God

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Jun 6, 2007
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We've had "Ask a..." threads for all sorts of religions and for atheists, too. Enough! Let's get down to it and go right to the source. As Jake said in The Blues Brothers, "You see, me and the Lord...we have an understanding". And I'm authorized to bring him questions on your behalf.

So fire away...ask God!
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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God, why are there fat people?
I am trying to lose weight and it's really hard.
Are body metabolisms beyond you?
 

Synapse

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So which came first, the milkyway, the cosmos or the universe?
I should lighten up hahaha.
 
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God, why are there fat people?
I am trying to lose weight and it's really hard.
Are body metabolisms beyond you?

Jennifer, your struggle is a common one. But I don't make fat people, I make people. Everyone needs struggle in their life. It builds character and it gives you something to strive for. As they say (actually, I might have said it, I have to check), there is no light without darkness or something like that. I may have given you a poor metabolism but wonderful children. And I may have given your neighbor the ability to eat Taco Bell every day and remain slim, but also given him a child that wants to be a prop comic. But take heart! I believe in you!
 
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Unless you know how to channel an entity that is more than likely and never was God even though many prophets seem to be under the impression that who they are channelling is God then you are a poor substitute.

I am familiar with all of man's languages, but the meaning of your query eludes me. Please rephrase. And please remember that God sees even that which you delete. Both in the forum and in your heart.

So which came first, the milkyway, the cosmos or the universe?
I should lighten up hahaha.

Well, this one is easy. The Milky Way is a part of the universe, and the cosmos is another name for the universe. So it goes 1. Universe/cosmos, 2. Milky Way. I like the Milky Way. I was trying to figure out what galaxies should look like, and then I spilled my milkshake. Voila! Inspiration comes from everywhere.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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Jennifer, your struggle is a common one. But I don't make fat people, I make people. Everyone needs struggle in their life. It builds character and it gives you something to strive for. As they say (actually, I might have said it, I have to check), there is no light without darkness or something like that. I may have given you a poor metabolism but wonderful children. And I may have given your neighbor the ability to eat Taco Bell every day and remain slim, but also given him a child that wants to be a prop comic. But take heart! I believe in you!

Please... can't I trade in being a dyed-in-the-wool fatty for a prop comic child?

I think you should have an exchange program for gifts. Target has a returns desk; why not Heaven?
 
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Please... can't I trade in being a dyed-in-the-wool fatty for a prop comic child?

I think you should have an exchange program for gifts. Target has a returns desk; why not Heaven?

In Heaven as on Earth, it's poor form to exchange a gift unless one has been provided a gift receipt. It is also foolhardy to assume that another's burden is preferable to one's own. Have you ever been to see a prop comic?
 

Totenkindly

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In Heaven as on Earth, it's poor form to exchange a gift unless one has been provided a gift receipt. It is also foolhardy to assume that another's burden is preferable to one's own. Have you ever been to see a prop comic?

Well, I do have a gift receipt; but based on where the tag was attached, you might want to be wearing rubber gloves when I bring it in.

EDIT: OH dear, God and IJ, face to face. You would think the universe should have come to an end 1.35 minutes ago or something.
 

Jonny

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God, is there a true religion? Why have I not been blessed with the volition to believe in you? Will I suffer after I die because I am this way?
 
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God, is there a true religion? Why have I not been blessed with the volition to believe in you? Will I suffer after I die because I am this way?

Ah, Jonnyboy, I was waiting for this one! I really hate to give a rainbows and unicorns hippie answer, but there is no way around it - all religions are true religions if they are based on love, compassion, and the recognition of a benevolent higher power (that's me). One can also find me with no religion at all. I care about what's in your heart, not what team you play for. That said, pay no mind to people who pervert religion, because they do not have the power to sully its beauty.

Everyone has been blessed with the ability to believe in me, but admittedly, it's a tougher go for some people. Some can't see me because of intellectual vanity, or jerks who pretend to speak for me, or just plain honest struggle. In the end, it requires faith. The answer is that simple and that complicated at the same time.

I really can't tell you specifically what will happen after you die. I want you to find me on your own terms, not because you're afraid of what might happen to you. I love those that struggle to find me, because they sweated for it.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
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Dear god,

Since you are such an absent parent, I know you won't answer this, but here goes anyway.

Why do viruses exist? Are you trying to be funny? What about AIDS? People think it's a punishment because you never come here and tell us anything, so it seems logical to conclude that you actually hate us.
So you never come around ,and you punish us for not being good enough, or making minor mistakes...
Sounds a lot like child abuse.
 
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Dear god,

Since you are such an absent parent, I know you won't answer this, but here goes anyway.

Why do viruses exist? Are you trying to be funny? What about AIDS? People think it's a punishment because you never come here and tell us anything, so it seems logical to conclude that you actually hate us.
So you never come around ,and you punish us for not being good enough, or making minor mistakes...
Sounds a lot like child abuse.

Nebbykoo, I am always there if you really need me. Haven't you ever read that stupid "Footprints" poem that seems to be on the wall in every doctor's office?

You're basically asking "Why do bad things happen to good people?", which is definitely the #1 complaint I receive. (#2 is "Why did you make Bobby ask Heather to the dance? It's the ONLY thing I asked you for!!) Let me break it down to you this way. I don't make things happen, I let things happen. I'm not a micromanager. If I never let anything bad happen to you, you'd never learn anything. Would you call it child abuse to let your kid do something you know will turn out badly because that's how he'll gain wisdom? Besides, don't think of me as your parent. I'm like the cool uncle that lets you have ice cream for dinner when I babysit.

Finally, when have I punished you for making a minor mistake or for not being good enough? Some guy with a robe might have told you that I will punish you, but think about it. Can you think of even one instance where this actually happened? I think you're ALL good enough.
 

InvisibleJim

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EDIT: OH dear, God and IJ, face to face. You would think the universe should have come to an end 1.35 minutes ago or something.

Ni dominants feel no fear when facing god, facing doom or even facing death. We have thought these through beforehand and thoroughly so too.

Why do you think we are so annoyingly staunch and ambivalent?


Dear God,

Thank you for agreeing with me. This has brought me yet more inner calm. Is it sometimes appropriate to say no?
 
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Dear God,

Thank you for agreeing with me. This has brought me yet more inner calm. Is it sometimes appropriate to say no?

Jim, I am glad to have helped. It is appropriate to say no when your date, who has ordered only a salad despite being encouraged to get whatever she wants, asks if she can have some of your french fries.
 

InvisibleJim

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Jim, I am glad to have helped. It is appropriate to say no when your date, who has ordered only a salad despite being encouraged to get whatever she wants, asks if she can have some of your french fries.

God,

This is an interesting observation. My real dilemma however is dessert. What do you do when your date/partner after you insisting they also order dessert does not and then begs to have 'some' of your dessert?
 
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