Ask God

[EffEmDoubleyou]

dear god, do you laugh at lawyer jokes?

strawberries,

I laughed at the first one I heard. But all the rest were just the same joke with new curtains.

 

[ThatGirl]

ThatGirl,

Why can't you ask me easy questions like the three guys from the previous post? Although Sartre would vehemently disagree, hell is alienation from love, which is the end of hope. In The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, a murderer says that his favorite part of killing is the way his victims' eyes go dead at the very moment they realize with finality that he is not going to let them go and that they are going to die. That moment is the distillation of hell.

Idk, good question. You made me. Why can't I ask simple questions like everyone else?

Dear God,

If I can sell my soul to the devil in exchange for goods and services, does that mean, in a balanced world, you make the same deals as well?

Like, I could make an offer, that you would get my soul, and it goes wherever you go. In exchange I get ultimate power, wealth, and beauty? Oh, and longevity too. No promising something for like a minute.

Hypothetically speaking? How would that work?

Thanks!
TG

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

If I can sell my soul to the devil in exchange for goods and services, does that mean, in a balanced world, you make the same deals as well?

Like, I could make an offer, that you would get my soul, and it goes wherever you go. In exchange I get ultimate power, wealth, and beauty? Oh, and longevity too. No promising something for like a minute.

Hypothetically speaking? How would that work?

Thanks!
TG

ThatGirl,

That would not work at all. Your soul has value to the Devil because it represents sacrifice. That's why he gives you cool shit for it. There's no sacrifice in trading your soul to me - I'm the preferred destination! You're asking for payment in exchange for...the opportunity to live forever in paradise? When you were 16 did you try to get your parents to give you a car in exchange for the privilege of throwing you a birthday party?

 

[ThatGirl]

Got it.

God = No cool shit.

Thanks.

 

[Mole]

The Exodus

Dear God, did the Exodus really occur or is it apocryphal?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Got it.

God = No cool shit.

Thanks.

ThatGirl,

You get cool shit with God, but you don't get instant gratification! He makes you wait and earn it so you appreciate it. They don't call me God the Father for nothing!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God, did the Exodus really occur or is it apocryphal?

Victor,

Who is to say? If the effects of it are real, then revealing the historical fact of the Exodus won't satisfy anything but idle curiosity. Besides, in cases like these the truth is more complicated than a mere "yes" or "no".

 

[Stanton Moore]

God demands his people to follow the rules he has posited for them, otherwise he will punish them for their trespasses. He demands loyalty and love. But real love must be given freely. It cannot be demanded, or expected.
Adults often expect no less fealty and 'love' from their children, or the children are beaten, harshly criticized, or worse.
Love that is given through coercion and intimidation is false love, yet parents, and god both expect it.
Does this not render the foundations of the religion itself, false?

 

[Anew Leaf]

Dear God,

Where did the idea for monkey tails come from?

~whirling and twirling me

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

God, why do I refuse to study?

 

[Jeffster]

This might just be the best thread ever. Nice work.

Except for that diss on Howard the Duck. Nothing that features Lea Thompson in skimpy outfits can be a bad thing.

 

[ygolo]

This might just be the best thread ever. Nice work.

Except for that diss on Howard the Duck. Nothing that features Lea Thompson in skimpy outfits can be a bad thing.

You mean like this?
[YOUTUBE="7k6CMj90bNU"]Howard the Duck Clip[/YOUTUBE]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k6CMj90bNU

 

[crayons]

Dear God, what invention or discovery so far have you found the most interesting and why?

 

[Riva]

If any one of my children are hurt it would kill me inside.

Why God why do you stay so high above in those clouds and watch some of your children suffer so very much?

A plan you have they might say,
To strnghthen you they might say,

But dear, all mighty, ever loving God, there are limits to which one could go through and when the limit is pushed too hard does it not hurt you that a child of you suffers?

Does it not occur to you that one can't take it anymore?
Do you not hear when one screams so hard for help, call your name, that maybe maybe you should stop?

If any one of my children are hurt it would kill me inside.

 

[gromit]

Why God why do you stay so high above in those clouds and watch some of your children suffer so very much?

A plan you have they might say,
To strnghthen you they might say,

But dear, all mighty, ever loving God, there are limits to which one could go through and when the limit is pushed too hard does it not hurt you that a child of you suffers?

Does it not occur to you that one can't take it anymore?
Do you not hear when one screams so hard for help, call your name, that maybe maybe you should stop?

If any one of my children are hurt it would kill me inside.

Yeah this makes me doubt God's omnipotence. Which I'm ok with. Would rather have a not all-powerful God than one who CAN do something but instead stands by and watches, for whatever the reason. Maybe it's my puny human brain, but I don't think God can be all-loving AND all-powerful.

I agree, there are limits to what is "for ones own good." Some things will break a person.

 

[Lark]

Dear God, always with the granting me what I ask for, always in the odd ways which I didnt consider and always with the thoughts provoking.

 

[Jeffster]

You mean like this?
[YOUTUBE="7k6CMj90bNU"]Howard the Duck Clip[/YOUTUBE]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k6CMj90bNU

Yes.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

God demands his people to follow the rules he has posited for them, otherwise he will punish them for their trespasses. He demands loyalty and love. But real love must be given freely. It cannot be demanded, or expected.
Adults often expect no less fealty and 'love' from their children, or the children are beaten, harshly criticized, or worse.
Love that is given through coercion and intimidation is false love, yet parents, and god both expect it.
Does this not render the foundations of the religion itself, false?

Dear nebbykoo,

I have no interest in false or coerced love, which is why I have imbued each of you with free will. You may love me. Or you may reject me, mock me, and harass my children. Each of these things has happened quite frequently throughout human history, so I find it hard to make a case that I have a gun to anyone's head.

Besides, bows and arrows are more my style. Have you seen that Daryl in The Walking Dead? He is badass. He would have made a great Jesuit.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,

Where did the idea for monkey tails come from?

~whirling and twirling me

Dear Saturned,

My beta monkeys kept falling out of trees when they got greedy and grabbed two bananas.

God, why do I refuse to study?

Dear YWIR,

Because you are lacking in dedication. You are either lazy or not engaging in studies suited to you. Also, stop watching America's Next Top Model. Srsly.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

This might just be the best thread ever. Nice work.

Thank you, Jeffster! Much like customer service reps, I usually only hear about it when I screw up. A blessing on you and yours!

Except for that diss on Howard the Duck. Nothing that features Lea Thompson in skimpy outfits can be a bad thing.

You are right but you are wrong. Ygolo posted everything worthwhile in Howard the Duck in a 30 second YouTube clip. A thirty second clip can't save a terrible movie no matter how many nubile young girls appear in it.