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Thread: Ask God

  1. #431

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    Quote Originally Posted by minutegovt View Post
    What is Santas moral teachings for christmas for the now employed? How does blood and thunder in the office translate into under the tree goodnessness? I am lost.
    Dear minutegovt,

    You are not alone in being lost.


    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkles View Post
    Am I correct that Eden was not a place?
    Am I correct that Eden was actually a state of being?
    Am I correct that we left the Eden state of being when we gained the human condition?
    Am I correct that there was no deception or trickery involved, except what resulted from this human condition that we gained?
    Dear sprinkles,

    You know I don't like to just state things plainly. That's not really my style. But you're in the neighborhood.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #432
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    Dear God, will there ever be world peace?

  3. #433
    Infinite Bubble
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    Dear Allah, Ra, Yahweh, Zeus, Budai, Thor, Oh Wise One, Holy Cat etc:

    If the concept of you is a figment of the human imagination, does that make humans God's God?

  4. #434
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Why does EffEmDoubleyou keep on catching me out. Does he think this is a game of cricket?

  5. #435

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    Do angels gossip around the holy water fountain?

  6. #436

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    Dear God, will there ever be world peace?
    Dear RaptorWizard,

    I certainly hope so!

    Human nature being what it is, world peace is a tall order. Oddly, an alien* invasion may be the one thing that does it, but that won't stop war, it'll just stop human-on-human war. As long as people focus on their differences instead of their similarities, there can be no peace. As long as people argue over me (my greatest disappointment), there can be no peace. However, I never give people a problem they can't solve. You can do it!

    *No, I'm not telling.


    Quote Originally Posted by Infinite Bubble View Post
    Dear Allah, Ra, Yahweh, Zeus, Budai, Thor, Oh Wise One, Holy Cat etc:

    If the concept of you is a figment of the human imagination, does that make humans God's God?
    Dear Infinite Bubble,

    If the concept of me was a figment of the human imagination, I suppose humans would be God's creator, but I would hesitate to call humans God's God. In this case, God would be a concept, not a being, and while a concept can have a creator, I don't think a concept can have a God. That requires a two-way relationship. It's all moot, of course, since I am writing this and I exist. But it's a fun exercise!

    BTW, I'm not one for stuffy titles, but Holy Cat is pretty awesome. I dig it.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  7. #437

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Why does EffEmDoubleyou keep on catching me out. Does he think this is a game of cricket?
    Dear Mole,

    EffEmDoubleyou is a tricky one. However, I suspect he does not think this is a game of cricket. Parrying and thrusting with you is much more exciting than sitting through a test match in the sun slowly getting an upset stomach from beer and heat.


    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Do angels gossip around the holy water fountain?
    Dear Wolfy,

    Angels are my messengers, and as such, they see all kinds of crazy shit. They're the troops on the ground, so they always have great stories. Naturally, it follows that they're world-class gossips. There's even a story about you that made the rounds not too long ago. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Let me just say I'm kind of both disgusted and impressed.

    You might be interested to know that the holy water fountains up here are pimped out. The fountains appear to dispense water, but as soon as it enters your cup, it transforms into any beverage you want. Well, except Clamato. It's heaven, we have to have some kind of standards.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  8. #438
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Dear God,
    Where were you for the last eight months? Does God take vacations? If so, where does God go?
    Thanks for life 'n' stuff,
    Ivy

  9. #439

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Dear God,
    Where were you for the last eight months? Does God take vacations? If so, where does God go?
    Thanks for life 'n' stuff,
    Ivy
    Dear Ivy,

    As a deity without a physical body, you can imagine I have little use for sick days. Still, I'm entitled to them, and I had to use them all up or I would lose them. I swear though, it's almost not worth it because of all the work I have to do when I get back to fix what Satan does when I'm gone. Between the government shutdown, Boston winning another sports championship, and eight months of backlogged everyday fuckery, I'm going to be smiting into the wee hours for weeks.

    Thank you for asking about my vacation. I mostly puttered around the house working on some new projects*, but I did get out to see some unicorn racing and I joined a cloud bowling league.

    Also, you're welcome!

    * Earth 2.0
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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