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Thread: Ask God

  1. #341
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Dear God,
    Why do you like beetles so much?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #342
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    Yo God mah homee, how many millions to billions of years is your space civilization ahead of our Earth civilization, and how can we ever hope to become more than by way of analogy mere insects before the face of the almighty Extraterrestrial Gods?

  3. #343
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Dear God, if being alternatively conceals and reveals itself, how can you be?

  4. #344
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Dear god, why didn't you make girls with 6 boobs like a cow? That would've been cool

  5. #345
    Anew Leaf
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    Dear God,

    When will I discover my purpose in life? Since you created all, is it possible for you to text me the answer?

    ~ a cell inside a galaxy of cells clutching a cell's phone

  6. #346
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    dear god... when have we had enough of a beating for our past mistakes? is there redemption? is there any way to forgive oneself?

    ~sincerely, whatever
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #347
    Anew Leaf
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    Dear God,

    If I am going to be murdered tonight by my date, will you create a new star for me to hug?

    ~ a jaunty mix of limbs entwined in the branches of trees

  8. #348
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    Dear God, how can I overthrow you and usurp your crowning mantle of Ultimate Power?

  9. #349

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chimerical View Post
    After seeing how you dodge questions, I have to ask: Are you a politician cause you sure talk like one.
    Dear Chimerical,

    I don't dodge questions. People just don't like my answers sometimes.

    So, if you're often asked like questions, why don't you have an answer?
    See above.


    Quote Originally Posted by Helios View Post
    Dear God,

    Why are you such a tosser? I mean this is the idiomatic sense, of course; I do not believe that you in fact rub one out on a regular basis, for any penis which you possessed would not be material. Unless you were possessing one in the alternative sense of that term, but that would only amount to vicarious satisfaction. Anyway, what I mean is "Why are you such an odious being?".

    Lots of love,

    Helios.
    Dear Helios,

    I can't explain why I am a tosser if I don't believe that I am one. Lots of people like me. I'm sorry you don't. I like you!


    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I'm getting a bit of a kick that every post in this thread effectively counts as prayer. Lots of devout people here.
    Dear Qlip,

    That is rather amusing. Most people are only motivated to give feedback when they're disappointed rather than satisfied, so I'm pretty happy with my ratio here. Y'all are my homies.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  10. #350

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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Really? If we're huddling under the religious umbrella at all in this thread, it probably falls under that whole false idol bit.
    Dear Iwakar,

    Eloi, eloi, lama sabatchthani?


    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    At this point I just want all the anti-religious haters to meet with bolts of lightening. Really and truly. I have lost my patience.
    Dear Lark,

    If I doled out lightning bolts purely on merit, you might be disappointed at my selections.


    Quote Originally Posted by thealchemist View Post
    Hey God,

    Why are blueberries blue?

    Awaiting your reply with bated breath,
    Me.
    Dear thealchemist,

    Blueberries were one of the last foods I invented, and I suddenly realized that I hadn't created any blue foods. So bang, blueberries! (Even I could not have foreseen abominations like blue raspberry. Seriously...I made raspberries such a beautiful shade of red. Why you gotta be like that, humans?)
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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