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Thread: Ask God

  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    God,

    This is an interesting observation. My real dilemma however is dessert. What do you do when your date/partner after you insisting they also order dessert does not and then begs to have 'some' of your dessert?
    Admittedly, this is a tougher dilemma. If you order dessert and your date does not, she will simply be watching you eat. I can recommend two courses of action:

    1. If your date does not order dessert, decline dessert yourself. You can always get some ice cream on the way home after you drop her off.
    2. If you really want dessert and she declines, order your dessert and ask the server to bring two spoons. She will dig right in, or my name isn't God. It's not ideal, but half a dessert is better than none.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Dear God,

    Get a new avatar. It's red.
    Red is God's favorite color. Satan started using it just to piss me off.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Dear God,

    Don't listen to him. That avatar's awesome.
    See? None of my creations are beyond redemption.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Dear God,

    Don't listen to Ginkgos who consume too much lemonade. Lol.
    Jaguar, let those who have never drunk lemonade cast the first stone.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #22
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    See? None of my creations are beyond redemption.

  3. #23
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Jim, I am glad to have helped. It is appropriate to say no when your date, who has ordered only a salad despite being encouraged to get whatever she wants, asks if she can have some of your french fries.
    God! No!!!

    ...Sigh. It's true. God's a man.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #24
    morose bourgeoisie
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    What would make a person want to pretend to be god on a meesage board?

    Oh yeah. INTJ.

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    What would make a person want to pretend to be god on a meesage board?

    Oh yeah. INTJ.
    Nebbykoo, I don't imagine anyone would seriously want to pretend to be me on a message board. That's hubris of the highest order, and an INTJ would know it was a fruitless task. I imagine anyone who attempts such a feat is simply looking to defuse religious tension and have a few laughs.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  6. #26
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Dear god,
    what do you think of fan fiction (e.g. Bible)?
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  7. #27
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Nebbykoo, I don't imagine anyone would seriously want to pretend to be me on a message board. That's hubris of the highest order, and an INTJ would know it was a fruitless task. I imagine anyone who attempts such a feat is simply looking to defuse religious tension and have a few laughs.
    I see. Altruism. Be careful with such a foreign concept.

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
    Dear god,
    what do you think of fan fiction (e.g. Bible)?
    Mad Hatter,

    I appreciate your sense of humor. I see what you did there. I disapprove of fan fiction, because I really don't need to see poorly written stories about hobbits having a circle jerk. But the Bible is not fan fiction, as I clearly exist. But if you really want to know what I think of the Bible, it's the same thing I think about shopping clearance sales. The good 10% is worth wading through the 90% that's BS.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  9. #29
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    hullo god, if someone had sex with you would their armpits and stuff explode into a squillion shooting stars?

  10. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    hullo god, if someone had sex with you would their armpits and stuff explode into a squillion shooting stars?
    Strawberries,

    I find experience is the best teacher. Let's discuss this further at my place.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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