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Thread: Ask God

  1. #161
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    since you mentioned souls not so long ago, here are a few questions about them.

    1) What are souls made of? How does soulstuff interact with ordinary matter?

    2) You said you didn't give souls to animals. Did you give them to humans? Where do you put the distinction between human and not? Is it possible to meet a Neanderthal in heaven? An Australopithecus Afarensis?
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  2. #162

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    You're a clever one, god, though apparently not clever to enough to prevent them from evolving. Where are the limits of your love?
    Nicodemus,

    There are no limits to my love. There are limits to my mercy, though. I extend mercy to those I feel are both redeemable and open to my love. Sadly, there is only so much I can do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Why did you order Abraham to murder his son?

    Don't you know this is a criminal offence under Australian law?
    Victor,

    I have seen hubris before, but this may take the prize. I don't believe I am subject to prosecution under Australian law. I am a jurisdictional nightmare!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  3. #163

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Dear God,

    since you mentioned souls not so long ago, here are a few questions about them.

    1) What are souls made of? How does soulstuff interact with ordinary matter?

    2) You said you didn't give souls to animals. Did you give them to humans? Where do you put the distinction between human and not? Is it possible to meet a Neanderthal in heaven? An Australopithecus Afarensis?
    Tamske,

    1. Souls are made of 80% polyester, 10% ground unicorn horn, 6% high fructose corn syrup, and 4% proprietary substances. Souls are permeable when inside the body, but become impenetrable outside it. The mechanism for such a thing is in that secret 4%. Sorry!

    2. I do give souls to humans. I give souls to sentient beings that have the capacity to reason and exercise free will. It's quite possible that you might meet a neanderthal in heaven. (For instance, George "The Animal" Steele is up here.) But keep in mind that such delineations are a human construct, not a godly one.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  4. #164

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    Dear God,

    Hope you're not away on business much longer.

  5. #165
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Also, I do have the answer to the question you are too shy to ask: Yes, but only the red kind, and only if he agrees to go with you.
    Dear God,

    I'm just way too shy to ask. Need to be nudged.

    Next question: Why did we humans have to miss the awesomeness of dinosaurs? I mean, beyond the obvious humans-as-prey thing. Will You ever bring them back to the earth again?

    P.S. I hope You enjoyed the incense that I burned on my private altar.

  6. #166
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    Are you really going to send half of humanity into a pit of eternal pain and suffering just because you're too lazy to bother making your existence known?

  7. #167
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    Please don't destroy the earth.

    Wait, I have to form that into a question...

    Dear God,

    What is, please do not destroy the earth?
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  8. #168

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Dear God,

    Hope you're not away on business much longer.
    Lark,

    I am never away on business. YOU are my business. Well, I don't mean like YOU you, I mean like the collective "you". Although you are part of the collective "you", so I guess you are my....you know what? Let's just say I am never away on business.

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Dear God,

    I'm just way too shy to ask. Need to be nudged.
    Redbone,

    If you want to ask, you will ask. I don't have time to Oprah you. I have football games to fix.

    Next question: Why did we humans have to miss the awesomeness of dinosaurs? I mean, beyond the obvious humans-as-prey thing. Will You ever bring them back to the earth again?

    P.S. I hope You enjoyed the incense that I burned on my private altar.
    Didn't you see Jurassic Park? Honestly, waiting until the dinosaurs were dead to unleash you people was one of my best ideas. You can't even protect yourselves from sharks. THEY CAN'T EVEN COME OUT OF THE OCEAN OR THEY DIE. Yet, you still allow them to eat you. You should just feel lucky you don't all have safety scissors.

    And...I gotta be honest. The incense and the altar creeped me out a little. But you keep it real, Redbone.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  9. #169
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Dear God,

    Hope you're not away on business much longer.
    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5X4N2exOsU"]Cookie Monster's Away on Business[/YOUTUBE]
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  10. #170
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    God, does that one girl like me? You know who I'm talking about. The hot runner that's getting her masters in physics.
    {The Diplomat}
    Slytherpuff
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    Meow.

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