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Thread: Ask God

  1. #121

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Dear God,

    Am I the Chosen One?
    Ginkgo,

    Of course you are!

    Now all you need to know is what you've been chosen for.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    God,

    What are you made out of? Do you have a God? Is he your father? Are we like grand children to the nth degree? Can you die? If you die what happens to us?
    ReflecTcelfeR,

    Goodness
    Order
    Decency

    And a heart made of solid ruby. Just because I can.

    I've already answered whether I have a God, and I don't answer the same question twice. God's answer never changes.*

    Actually, I don't even know if I can die. Isn't that weird? I suspect that if I can, it would only be because you all turned on me. I guess I'm like representative government. If everyone stops believing in it, it goes away.


    * Unless Mrs. God throws a hissy. Hi-yo!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #122
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Ginkgo,

    Of course you are!

    Now all you need to know is what you've been chosen for.



    ReflecTcelfeR,

    Goodness
    Order
    Decency

    And a heart made of solid ruby. Just because I can.

    I've already answered whether I have a God, and I don't answer the same question twice. God's answer never changes.*

    Actually, I don't even know if I can die. Isn't that weird? I suspect that if I can, it would only be because you all turned on me. I guess I'm like representative government. If everyone stops believing in it, it goes away.


    * Unless Mrs. God throws a hissy. Hi-yo!
    Hmmm... so you're like Santa Claus?

  3. #123
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Saturned,

    You can't expect me to give away my biggest secret! It's like asking someone to enjoy and invest themselves in Citizen Kane after you tell them what "Rosebud" means! That said, I'll give you the classic politician non-answer answer. All is possible with me. By the way, togas are given out on a case-by-case basis, if you know what I mean. It's everyone else's heaven, too.



    Stop summing up life better than I can. I don't think I have to tell you that it doesn't end well for people who cross me.

    Hah! I had you there for a minute! I'm not that kind of God.





    I understand that you love ponies, but not everyone does. If you want to know the truth, I created ponies on a dare to create a pointless animal. They're like horses, but too small to be of any use. They wind up in undignified petting zoos until they're not cute anymore, then God only knows what happens to them. Kind of like former members of Menudo.

    If you want a whale shark, you've come to the wrong department. I get so many prayers and requests that I can't handle them all. I take the important ones, but I hired a guy to handle of all humankind's vulgar material requests. I think you guys call him Santa Claus. Sometimes I want THAT guy's job. He's like a grandparent. He gets to be the guy that brings you cool shit, and I get to be the guy that tells you everything fun is a sin.
    Who doesn't love ponies?! Mean people!! That's who!! Also, I read somewhere (in my mind) that anything not featured on an episode of the Jersey Shore is fair game for prayers. So I can pray for a whale shark but I can't pray for a fake tan. Capiche?

    Dear God,

    Do you appear differently to each of us depending on what we are? Or are you always the same and it is we who see you differently because of who we are?

    ~a creation locked with the walls of four dimensions

  4. #124
    Anew Leaf
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    P.S.

    Dear God,

    Do you reside outside of time? If so, could it be possible to posit that if you are outside of time and heaven is with you - that my soul can currently be in heaven while at the same time being alive and on earth?

    inside your quantum box... maybe...
    me

  5. #125

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Who doesn't love ponies?! Mean people!! That's who!! Also, I read somewhere (in my mind) that anything not featured on an episode of the Jersey Shore is fair game for prayers. So I can pray for a whale shark but I can't pray for a fake tan. Capiche?
    Saturned,

    As you are imbued with free will by your creator, you can pray for anything you like. But it doesn't make a lot of sense to order spaghetti at McDonald's.

    /wisdom

    Dear God,

    Do you appear differently to each of us depending on what we are? Or are you always the same and it is we who see you differently because of who we are?

    ~a creation locked with the walls of four dimensions
    Let me answer by citing your salutation. "A creation locked within the walls of four dimensions." In heaven, there are no fewer than 36 dimensions. I shit you not. Now, some people will fear that they have 36 ways to look fat, and some will embrace 36 different ways to smile. Objective truth is the same for everyone, but everything you see is dependent on who you are.

    /on a roll

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    P.S.

    Dear God,

    Do you reside outside of time? If so, could it be possible to posit that if you are outside of time and heaven is with you - that my soul can currently be in heaven while at the same time being alive and on earth?

    inside your quantum box... maybe...
    me

    Did you ever see the movie Scanners? I know it sounds like a cop out, but if I explained this to you in detail, your head would do THAT. But I can tell you that your soul resides in your body for as long as you are alive. There is only one you, and you can only be one place. And that place is frequently this thread!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  6. #126
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    Are You pretty much like The Aleph?

    Also, do you have the answer to my question that I'm too shy to ask on this thread in the fortune cookie that came with my General Tso's chicken (which was awful...I will hire a cook until I feel better)?

  7. #127
    Anew Leaf
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    Dear God,

    So I am still thinking about this whole time thing and where heaven resides, etc. Do you let us invent stuff in heaven? Can we make mountains? Diamonds? Animals? Because my thinking is that we could possibly be inventing stuff in heaven and then planting these creations on earth to give ourselves joy for when we finally sprout upon the earth. (Since heaven is outside of time, we could theoretically be able to make something in heaven and then put it at any point in time we so choose.) If this is the case, then my soul would like to "call shotgun" on creating ponies and bunnies. Thanks.

    From what I have read about astronomy and astrophysics.... the universe seems to be pretty darn huge. Is there other life on other planets? Or did you create this entire universe in order to just create our earth in order to just show us how amazing and precious life is?

    ~ 2 halves of a soul, one here, one not here.

  8. #128
    Ginkgo
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    Dear God,

    8=======D~~~~~<3<3

  9. #129
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Dear God,

    8=======D~~~~~<3<3
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  10. #130
    null Jonny's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    I hate you and don't believe in you.

    Jonny

    P.S. - I also kind of don't like people who believe in you; they seem stupid to me. Does this make me a bad person? xoxoxo
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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