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Thread: Ask God

  1. #101

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    Quote Originally Posted by ragashree View Post
    Dear God,

    Have you ever had an "INTJ complex" ?
    Ragshree,

    If I did, I would never say it. Those people think highly enough of themselves as it is. There would be no living with them!


    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Dear God,

    I seriously think you're a troll. I mean that's cool and all since you're the Truth at the same time. But seriously. Vestigial organs. Echidnas. Back hair.

    I don't mean to talk about you like you're some sort of dickless pantywaste. But it's getting ridiculous.

    I guess the fundamental rules of the universe can come up with that stuff, and I don't want to be boastful and prideful like I'm an exception. But yeah. You're silly.
    "Counselor, is there a question in our future?"

    /every law TV show
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #102

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    God,

    Thanks for the reply. To answer your question, in my heaven there would be a 1967 Acapulco Blue Mustang with white leather interior. Preferably showroom quality because I don't know how to restore a classic stang without your help.
    See, Nerd Girl - you have answered your own question. Bully for you!


    And God, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that part about the second and third gen stangs. -covers poor pony ears-
    I'm afraid that if you like the second and third gen Mustangs, it might take a wee bit of extra credit for you to get your golden ticket, yannowhatimsayin?


    Quote Originally Posted by Malice View Post
    Dear God,
    When does the fun start?
    Malice,

    Why, whenever you want it to! God harshes no mellows.


    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Dear God,
    What were you thinking?
    I GIVE and I GIVE and I GIVE to you people, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!

    Okay, tantrum over. You want the real answer? Like, the real real answer? I was a little drunk.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  3. #103

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    God, If I have to leave this world with all of these big dreams and unfinished business, I'm prayin' for that '67 Stang and an air conditioned garage AND I WANT places to go and people to see up there!! Happy people!! Happy big yellow grin'ed people. Toothless is fine. God, Are you listening??
    You again?? I'd love to stay, but I've got this thing downtown. Call my secretary, we'll setsomethingupgottagobye!

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Dear God,
    How can I know what you want me to do with my life? Do you deal in specifics?

    gromit
    Gromit,

    You may not capitalize your name, but I will, because you deserve it! To answer your question, I have no specific plan for your life. I gave you talents and brains and your unique personality, and I can't wait to see what YOU want to do with them! I just want you to be happy and to embrace your potential.

    And to draw a picture of me! Contrary to opinion in some quarters, I don't care if you guys draw me, paint me, or make a me out of dried macaroni and glitter. Have at it!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  4. #104
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    I GIVE and I GIVE and I GIVE to you people, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!
    Well you're the one that decided to invent me with the free will to not give thanks. So don't take it out on me.

    you silly god

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Okay, tantrum over. You want the real answer? Like, the real real answer? I was a little drunk.
    I'm not really sure. If you give me an answer then I suppose I can't speculate on the answer with ironic jokes.

    Also, if I told you I was God, how would we know which one of us was really God? What would make your will any more Godly over my own? Certain capability perhaps?

  5. #105
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    Dear God: Why do you hate me?

  6. #106
    A window to the soul
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    Dear God,

    You're quite the comedian. I like that.

    p.s., Your secretary put me on eternal hold. What does that mean?

  7. #107
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    Dear God,

    It seems you are very familiar with the proclivities of the INTJs you created.


    If you hadn't taken on the position of Supreme Creator and Ruler of the Universe, what would you have liked to do instead?
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

  8. #108

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    Dear God,

    You skipped my post, omniscient my ass.

    wolfy

  9. #109

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    Also, if I told you I was God, how would we know which one of us was really God? What would make your will any more Godly over my own? Certain capability perhaps?
    Little_Sticks,

    If you told me you were God, there would be an easy way to tell which of us was really God. I would simply consult AC/DC.



    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    Dear God: Why do you hate me?
    lowtech redneck,

    I don't hate you. I love you! To quote one of the more trite things said about me, "God don't make no junk." If your life is hard, I'll be there to help you. I never allow you to be painted in a corner. I will always give you a path to glory. You just have to find it. Take heart!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Dear God,

    You're quite the comedian. I like that.

    p.s., Your secretary put me on eternal hold. What does that mean?
    Nerd Girl,

    I apologize. You just can't get good help anymore, even in heaven. Nobody can concentrate on their job, what with the nightly fireworks, unicorn races and Jimi Hendrix concerts. I assure you, I make every effort to answ...sorry, I hear Purple Haze starting. BRB.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  10. #110

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Dear God,

    Why is it that I feel like you are whispering in my ear about something, and then it doesn't happen the way I think it will?

    ~ a tiny speck of soul dust floating on earth
    Saturned,

    I am filled with joy to hear from you! I like your advice thread, you remind me of me. But not too much. Just the right amount. You are right to feel that I am whispering in your ear...I love when you guys hear me! If it doesn't work out the way you think, maybe you misinterpreted what I said. Or maybe someone else didn't heed my advice. Or maybe you didn't. Or maybe I'm just fucking with you.

    Hahaha, no, really. I'm not fucking with you. That would be a cold shot. Just remember, I don't deal in events. I deal in thoughts.

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Dear Yahweh

    What's your take on this personality thing?

    Cheers, Gautama.
    Wolfy,

    You're Gautama?? That seriously screws with my worldview, I have to say. As far as personality goes, I think that MBTI, like many things, helps you to understand without being gospel truth (hah!) A hammer helps to build a house, but you need saws and levels and drills, too. You feeling me?

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Dear God,

    1. If we are going to spend eternity with you, in a place where there are no tears, no sadness, no hunger, trees full of ripe fruit, rivers streaming with schools of yummy fish, and streets paved of gold, we should probably be spending more time thinking about and focusing on eternity rather than on our short time here on earth, right? Because, logically speaking: eternity > 100 years. By a long shot. I guess that's why you say "do not collect and hoard material possessions here on earth, where rust will corrode them and moths will eat them away (and we have to leave the possessions behind when we leave), but instead store up treasures in heaven where rust and moths cannot touch them." And probably also why you say, "What is your life? Your life is like a vapor, here for a moment, and then gone the next." Because, to you, 100 years is the blink of an eye.

    Am I right to conclude that we should probably be WAY LESS stressed in these 100 years than we actually are? I mean, I know there are things you want us to do and you have a purpose for all of us in these 100 years, but if we focus on eternity, it really kind of takes a huge burden of stress off of us, because we know we have "forever" coming on the other side. We probably shouldn't stress out about things like, "The grocery store ran out of milk" or "I applied for a job and nobody called me back" or "That guy cut me off on the road". We kind of need to just chill out, right?

    2. I can haz cheeseburger?
    INTPness,

    1. Yes.
    2. Hell, yes!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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