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  1. #81
    Member skip's Avatar
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    I only want to prevent them from controlling me so that I can have control over myself.
    That's backwards. You take control over yourself in order to prevent others from controlling you.

  2. #82
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I refuse. I curse this life, and everyone who appreciates it. I will not learn to drink this filth gleefully.
    I have felt the same way about evil in this world and the apathy in a lot of people about it, but there are always people who are not this way and finding them is a real joy. There is beauty out there to be dicovered amongst the muck.

    I would rather see a world tempered by mercy than a world of rigid, draconian laws. I most admire people who are inner directed with a strong sense of their own conscience. Yet so many people these days suffer from a devestating inner anomie, they don't know themselves, cannot connect to their inner guidence and they are easily led and swayed by archetypal so-called "big daddy" figures who want to control them totally with rigid rules and regulations, data bases, track them, etc. That's the potential world that is ugly to me.

    When people won't control themselves, someone else will obilge and it likely won't be someone with the people's best interests at heart.

  3. #83
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Everything is disgusting because it has no order. Only order is beautiful or meaningful, everything else is filth and ugliness to me. So the only way I can get any pleasure out of life is to continually impose my idea of order on everything I have control over, and try to appreciate those things while they last (which they won't), because they will be the only things worth appreciating.

    Sorry, I can't think of a better description... I remember drawing and thinking about things like this even when I was very young, almost as if the idea were innate for me.
    Order exists within nature, Athenian200. You will die.
    I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.

  4. #84
    Procrastinating
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    So now I know what's expected of me, and I also know that it's not something I can reasonably be expected to cope with.

    Only because you said "reasonably," you are, in part, right. But, since the world is not based on reason, you are still expected to cope with it just like everyone else. We all, at one point or another, have to face the sore fact that we can change nothing but ourselves. Without real or perceived danger, there is no courage. I'm sure you will find yours.

  5. #85
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Perfect order is dead. (Think of crystals.)
    Chaos provides life but can't maintain itself without restraint.

    Life is ordered chaos. Or chaotic order. Or something like that.

    But you know all that, so I won't belabor it. I just don't see a way around it.


    In any case, this is quite a ballsy thread, and mentally provocative... definitely lotsa stars on this one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    ...The hard and stiff will be broken.
    The soft and supple will prevail.
    You've convinced me -- supple it is.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #86
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noel View Post
    You will die.
    Go ahead, then... kill me. I don't really care one way or the other.

    I hate you all, by the way. Your values disgust me.

  7. #87
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I hate you all, by the way. Your values disgust me.
    This has got to be a joke.

  8. #88
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Well... that didn't go so well.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #89
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Go ahead, then... kill me. I don't really care one way or the other.

    I hate you all, by the way. Your values disgust me.

    No - you don't.
    You love. You love deeply. You love with such intensity that it creates pain.

    Words are the extensions of thought; thought of experience.

    You love others because your pain is without end; because you've been treated unfairly.
    Your love as law. Law as fairness. Fairness as love.

    You love.

  10. #90
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I hate you all, by the way. Your values disgust me.
    It is okay if you hate me, I have been hated by worse for less, but what's really going on here? Are you going through some kind of off board stress? Or is it a build up of past issues here? The depth of passion you display does not match the recent events, jmo.

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