Also, the INFPs you talk about Wandering seem to be using stunted Ne. (Thanks for the terms and ideas, FL. Really an eye opener once again.) By intuiting that a line of thought might at some point in the future threaten Fi, they use the stunted Ne to immediately tell Fi that the possible future slight has already happened. Mature Ne would instead try to get to the bottom of what the other person seems to be expressing in order to let Fi get new understanding and challenge it to mature and grow.
Edit: Bah, I suddenly remembered FL had already covered this as well I think.