Difficulty Finding a Religion to Belong To

[Lark]

After reading your OP, I was going to suggest that you investigate the Quakers, and then I saw it came up #2 on your BeliefNet test. They're not as dogmatic as many religions, and it's as close as I can think of to a religion that lets you have both your personal relationship with God as well as a community.

I've had many of the same feelings as you have on this subject. I definitely believe in God, and I think that even empirically the existence of God is as likely as not. But I'm less convinced by the particular dogma of any individual religion. I was raised Catholic, and out of familiarity and tradition I'll still go to a Catholic church if I want to go to a church, but I think if I'm anything, I'm a Deist. You might be one too.

Ha! You've just described me around about the age of 18 or 19 to 25!

I dont think I could describe myself as a deist now, although I've only seen it used as a term of abuse by evangelists or prolestyising Christians lately.

 

[Lark]

I think if you want to compare religion to politics to illuminate this concept, a more apt comparison would be, say, approving of Obama as president while thinking the Democratic party is BS. When people embrace God and not religion, it's about the perceived disconnect between God and religion. It's like a singer with a crazy fan club. You can be a fan of the singer's work while wanting to keep your distance from the nutsos in the fan club. I don't think I should have to be bound by the rules of a compromised, human construct like a religion in order to have access to God. God and religion are related but not inextricably linked concepts.

The singer not the song?

I remember a great movie which had that title and theme.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

The singer not the song?

Actually, in this case, the singer and the song are both important. It's just that I think a lot of the audience is mishearing the lyrics

And now I'm done derailing CuriousFeeling's thread.

 

[Lark]

The strangest new religious perspective I've heard from sounds like a pseudo-science and its derived from physics, particularly quantum physics, and suggests that sentient human life is the universe becoming conscious and because "we are", we will be for eternity, I'm not sure if there is an afterlife or merely a succession of lives lived in a/the multiverse sharing the same consciousness eventually.

Its sort of what I think one speaker could have been talking about when they described the violence done by darwinism and asian metaphysics in fields they strictly had little to offer in when giving a talk to the royal scientific society.

 

[King sns]

I think that something in people's minds need to believe something to make sense of things. I don't think this helps your case at all, but it's just my thought. Agnostic mindset is hard to maintain for a human mind...

 

[copperfish17]

^ For some reason, I find being an agnostic more empowering. In the sense that 1) I have no one to rely on so I gotta toughen up and 2) I have free will and am not being controlled or watched over by some creepy dude(s)/dudette(s).

 

[Lark]

I suspect the spirituality is influenced and age and phase of life.

 

[Amargith]

http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/

See what it says, look at the 5 top results, research them and see which one resonates with you.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

I suspect the spirituality is influenced and age and phase of life.

Yeah, I think the transition into adulthood has a lot to do with it. I've become more open to the possibility of a spiritual dimension, essentially because I know that science can't prove or disprove its existence. Not enough evidence to suggest either way. My knowledge on religions in general is quite limited, so I think that exploring what is out there will be helpful for me to understand what is going on. From a scientist's perspective, I think exploring spirituality will give me a more well-rounded approach to life, perhaps make it even more meaningful. As an educator, I think it is essential for me to be culturally sensitive to my students' needs, and I think that being both spiritual and scientific will be helpful to make them feel included.

If anything, it is my wish (as idealistic as it is) to change the world by encouraging students (and hopefully it will branch out to others) to be open-minded to different interpretations of the same thing. Essentially spiritualism and science are branches off of the same tree of knowledge, just different ways to interpret the world.

To quote Einstein, "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/

See what it says, look at the 5 top results, research them and see which one resonates with you.

Beat you to it, Vala. Check here: My results.

I think that Unitarian Universalism seems the best step for me... it seems more of a gradual transition, and less strict social rules to contend with. I am really seeking more of a spiritual journey more than a moral compass, and would like flexibility if my beliefs change in the future, more of a liberal view on religion, but still with organized services. I want spirituality to be a part of my life, but not all of my life.

Thank you to those of you that have given suggestions. They have been helpful. I know now which course I want to take, and I am looking forward to this journey. Thanks!

 

[Halla74]

I totally understand your sentiments.
I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
BUT - I never "accepted" any aspect of the faith that I thought to be absurd.
For instance, I do not want to be drinking the blood of my God, or eating his flesh in mass every Sunday, but I accept the eating of wafers as a simple ritual and leave it at that.
I have never drank the wine because I don't want to swap spit with hundreds of random people, sorry, not my cup of tea.

I too am a scientist, and I can offer you this easy consolation in there being life after death.
You are familiar with the law of conservation of energy, right?

"Energy is never created or destroyed, it merely changes forms."

If you burn a wooden log, you get carbon and heat.
If a human being dies, you get a rotting corpse, and the release of the magnificent spirit that used the human body as its "vehicle" to traverse this plane of existence, and upon its expiration, is freed back to where it came from before.
See how that works?
Really simple, isn't it?
Now you just have to decide if YOU believe in the possibility of our existence as we know it being the temporary marriage of a human body, and a heavenly spirit that has an awareness and capacity to reason and love and feel far beyond any other creature on this Earth.
This is the magnificence of human life, IMHO.

In all honesty, I used to hate organized religion. As you noted the conglict and contradictory dogmas and other junior high bullshit is just not my style.
I have always had a very good relationship with the God of my understanding.
Since I was a little boy, I knew God was present, and by the time I was an adolescent I knew that I had the choice to do his bidding here on Earth, to serve the greater good in the course of my daily life, to love my fellow brothers and sisters, to help my neighbors, and each time I elect to do so, I become happier, more content, and feel at one with the Earth and the sky and the heavens above.

THAT - is the essence of MY religion.
I might be a Roman Catholic, but above that I know that God gave m and all other men and women FREE WILL, and I choose to serve my Lord and maker in a way that makes sense to me, and not by forcing myself to try and serve him in ways sanctified by a man-made organization that frankly, I am really not that comfortable with. I help my family, I help my friends, I help my neighbors, I do not think it necessary for me to give a percentage of my annual income blindly to an organization that has demonstrated time and again over history to be tainted by a lust for power, and in some cases things far worse.

Church has its place, don't get me wrong, but don't go to one unless you are COMFORTABLE there, that is my rule of thumb.
And as far as your belief in God, that is between you and Him.

This world is no accidnet.
The inter-relationships between all the living creatures of our ecosystem are by intelligent design, and I dare say the intellignet design of a wise and loving creator, who gave us, his spiritual children, a chance to live a life within a body that's existence is far different from the spirit that runs it.

This life is a gift, this is not a dress rehearsal.
Live each day with love in your heart, and faith that the greater good wil find you if you but believe, and one day, you will awaken and be at peace yet still overjoyed.

I hope my ramblings made some sense to you.
Feel free to follow up with any comments/questions you wish.
I am an open book.



-Alex

 

[mochajava]

Are you looking for a community / spiritual community?

 

[Sanctus Iacobus]

The thing is, despite being an agnostic, I really do wish to have some sort of spiritual element in my life. At this moment, I feel a great state of cognitive dissonance... as a scientist I should believe in what is observable facts... but it gives my heart great pain to think that once my life ends, there won't be a spiritual home for me to return to, nor will the same thing be the case for any relatives that have passed on.

Friend, the spiritual element you wish for is the Holy Spirit. You don't need more religion, you need true spiritual rebirth, or what Jesus calls being born again. Jesus is the son of God and if anyone believes in Him you can become an adopted son of God. This is the belonging you and so many others look for.

 

[Mole]

A Motherless Child

Remember, please keep this peaceful.

Of all of the more than 6,000 millions souls here today, almost all inherited their religion - their religion is their cultural inheritance.

So we learn our religion at our mother's knee and we accept whatever our mother tells us.

In other words, we imbibe our religion uncritically in the same way we imbibe our mother's milk - and that is why it is called, Holy Mother Church.

Or we might say we are like ducklings - in that we imprint on the first duck we see.

But if we are a motherless child, we may try to find a religion using rational means.

And this is comic and tragic at the same time.

Perhaps admitting we are a motherless child, that we are homeless in the modern world, has more dignity.

 

[Giggly]

At the risk of sounding like a simpleton, you could go from church to church (or temple etc.) until you find one that you feel good at.

 

[Lightyear]

The thing is, I want to belong with a group of believers that are tolerant towards others with differing spiritual views, accepting of science and the theory of evolution, allow women to make their own decisions about reproduction, allow women to be spiritual leaders, more accepting of the LGBT community, value compassion towards others and that human suffering is more of a test of faith and is caused by humanity on its own. I also feel a deep spiritual connection between other people and me... as well as a deep connection between myself and the universe and nature. I suppose I have a liberal view towards religions, because they all explain the same type of thing, just in a different perspective. This can get a bit brain boggling, especially when you see things from different angles.

I am part of an evangelical Church of England congregation in London and I think that people there would agree with a lot of this and if they don't at least consider another person's point of view instead of hitting you over the head with THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH. Most of the people there are cosmopolitan, university-educated and in their 20s and 30s so that makes a big difference, I think when looking for a congregation to belong to you should consider the whole generational gap. At least in England Christians in their 20s and 30s have very different values than the older generation.

I guess any group that is open-minded enough to consider other people's point of view is a good starting point, I have met liberals that are just as zealous in their beliefs as hardcore fundamentalist Christians. (One of my friends is part of the Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association and I went to one of their lectures about the history of Humanism and instead of keeping it factual and to the point the whole thing was just one big excuse to make snide remarks about people follwoing a faith (Christians in particular.) while celebrating the "fearless and enlightened" humanists. Most of the people there were also over 50 so I was thinking "These people are so behind the times, I used to hear that kind of stuff when growing up in (ex-)Communist East Germany in the 80s and 90s.")

For me it's all a bit difficult to say because I became a Christian more or less overnight (after having been brought up as an atheist), I didn't look for spirituality, it just kind of burst into my life. However one thing I have learnt is that you shouldn't make your faith dependent on other people, they (or churches in general) will at some point piss you off so you need to have something stronger than a nice group of more or less like-minded people to keep going. But being part of such a group is definitely a good starting point to develop or at least talk about faith. Do you have the Alpha Course in the States?

 

[Mole]

Longing and Belonging

There is no need to find a religion to belong to because we already belong to MBTI.

MBTI is about belonging. It gives us four magic letters after our names and we are told none of us are good or bad only that we are different. But not so different that we can't belong.

As we look around us we find we are surrounded by those just like ourselves, an affinity group, where each of us wants to belong more than we want to be free.

MBTI is the cry of the oppressed creature, the heart in a heartless world, where we long to belong.

 

[Helios]

The thing is, despite being an agnostic, I really do wish to have some sort of spiritual element in my life.

Why? What is a "spiritual element", anyway?

At this moment, I feel a great state of cognitive dissonance... as a scientist I should believe in what is observable facts... but it gives my heart great pain to think that once my life ends, there won't be a spiritual home for me to return to, nor will the same thing be the case for any relatives that have passed on.

It gives me great comfort knowing that I don't have to persist for an eternity. As a child, when I had a rather nascent conception of Christianity, I was not terrified at the possibility of being sent to Hell: I was fearful of having to exist forever in Heaven.

The thing is, I want to believe in a higher being, something greater than me. I suppose in a sense I am monotheistic. I want to believe in Heaven.

Why?

Which religion(s) would you suggest?

None. You'd do better to consider why you're desperate to "belong" to a religion in the first place. Being dependent on others for your happiness is not a virtue.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

The one thing I really enjoy about Buddha is he never spoke about an afterlife; he spoke about a state of being, but of no god, because he didn't believe he could as he didn't know if it existed or not. He did say that if it did exist no human could describe it without being wrong. I enjoy that.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

None. You'd do better to consider why you're desperate to "belong" to a religion in the first place. Being dependent on others for your happiness is not a virtue.

The OP has described a sincere, personal yearning. To ignore the intent of the thread and instead question the validity of such a personal desire serves no purpose other than indulging the vanity of the commenter. In addition, the desire to belong to a group or to share experiences is not the same thing at all as being dependent on others for your happiness. Have you ever had a birthday party? Had a romantic relationship? Joined a club or sport at school? Would you classify these as being "dependent on other people for happiness"?

 

[Helios]

The OP has described a sincere, personal yearning. To ignore the intent of the thread and instead question the validity of such a personal desire serves no purpose other than indulging the vanity of the commenter.

Hardly. If someone approached me asking for advice on how to best to commit suicide, I'd ask them whether their desire was even sensible in the first place. My purpose here is identical: unabashed altruism.

In addition, the desire to belong to a group or to share experiences is not the same thing at all as being dependent on others for your happiness. Have you ever had a birthday party? Had a romantic relationship? Joined a club or sport at school? Would you classify these as being "dependent on other people for happiness"?

Adherence to religion is scarcely so benign. I can do without birthday parties, romantic relationships and clubs. Most religious believers, however, tend to predicate their entire existence on their religion; a fortiori, they are dependent on their religion for their happiness-and particularly dependent upon fellow believers and whatever grand being they've elected to worship.