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  1. #1
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Default The Church of Google

    Normally I'd lol but while I know it's a joke, I almost wouldn't doubt it if google somehow took over the world someday. Screw it, I'm still loling.

    The Church of Google



    » PROOF #1

    Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

    » PROOF #2

    Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

    » PROOF #3

    Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

    » PROOF #4

    Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

    » PROOF #5

    Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

    » PROOF #6

    Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

    » PROOF #7

    Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

    » PROOF #8

    According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

    God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image below (click to enlarge).

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Default

    Google is just the latest trend in search engines. I don't see what the big deal is.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Google is just the latest trend in search engines. I don't see what the big deal is.
    I'm with you here. There was a Yahoo! and AOL search engine long before Google.

    I just like Google better because it's right on my toolbar, and therefore easily accessible! But ultimately, I don't see why it's any different.

  4. #4
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Google is just the latest trend in search engines. I don't see what the big deal is.
    If you think about how powerful a tool it is... It really is. Google is working on putting up a service where your medical records can be stored for easy access by doctors. I hear google is planning to release a cell phone in the near future. Google maps... The list goes on.

    GOOGLE - THE ANTICHRIST. jk...

  5. #5
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    But anything Google does, another search engine can do. Technology is just a game of leap frog. Google is merely a frog.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Google is merely a frog.
    It's French?!?! :eek:

  7. #7
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    Google is merely God. Join the church.
    :Walks off with a zombie stare, arms outstretched in front of body:
    .

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You see, it's all very simple. One company comes out with a-ALL HAIL GOOGLE!

  9. #9
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    You see, it's all very simple. One company comes out with a-ALL HAIL GOOGLE!
    Damn. Just noticed it's not affiliated with Google INC.

    Ruins everything. Why did I join this fucking church? WHY WHY WHY!?!??!

  10. #10
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    Google, what a cute name!

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