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Modesty, self-esteem and body confidence?

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
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Promiscuity as method of coping with low self-esteem? Hm. Perhaps this isn't the best alternative to building up ones self-image in a healthy way.

I'm a man and I know that I've suffered on occasion from feeling unable, even with my best efforts, to conform to any standard of physical health or atheleticism, its bound to be a lot worse for women because the female form is society's muse, heterosexual men predominating and women sharing some of their standards and obsessions or definitions of female beauty.

However I've never considered something like this I would consider compounding the problem, I do take some consolations from traditional admonitions of pride or modesty, or in another cultural context, the buddhist one, non-attachment or non-striving.

Although I do know that my understand of these things may be different and not shared by others, its all a matter of experience and perspective, others could and I'm sure do see those views as wholey a product of an uptight or repressive authoritarian and guilt tripping order good for nothing other than producing neurotics, and perhaps they'd not be completely wrong, but its a different way to the way I understand it all.
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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I don't have always have a good sense of "body confidence".. not just in appearance, but kind of in general. There's just something off.. like I'm on stilts sometimes.. where I'm not as grounded or smooth or comfortable in my skin like a lot of people are. I get complimented, so I think I just sort of compensate by taking people's word for it, and having a good self-image in some psychological way. But never really outright so confident that I could flaunt or something. Sounds beneath me anyways.

I'm also probably a little warped from growing up as an Asian guy in a southern US Caucasian society. I'm not going to get all Malcolm X right now, but there are a lot of subtle things that kind of have stung over the years. Even though I'm half-white, a lot of little "standards" for me aren't even part of my genetic makeup (chiseled jaws and such). Don't get me wrong, I'm not hung about it.. but I'm well aware of growing up and not matching up to a lot of "standards".. little moments before going to school or something, staring at myself in the mirror, wondering why I can't make certain things "work". Maybe a lot of people go through that though.
 

Redbone

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Feeling good about yourself is essential to your well-being and a ton of women out there suffer from immense shame and desperation for not meeting the ideal standard. Also..for the men, look at it this way...a woman who's ashamed of her body is way less likely to enjoy sex or want to have sex often due to inhibitions of having to get naked..aka not getting relaxed, not getting in the mood, and basically depriving herself as well as the man who loves her (and trust me, no matter what he says, that self-consciousness aint going nowhere).

Now, if reframing your body to show it at its best, through these pictures, helps them to see their body literally in a different light and to feel some semblance of pride in who they are, I say good riddance to modesty. To hell with it. For realz. If that is what gets them to start feeling like they deserve to take care of themselves, honor their body, take care of it properly and enjoy it for what it was build, I say, modesty seriously is overrated.

I like this. I am pretty modest but I would like to have something like this done for myself. It would be great to focus on the positive things--it's hard to do. Besides this would be for my own use only.
 

Not_Me

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There is nothing virtuous about modesty. It's nothing more than a personal preference.
 

Not_Me

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Or you know an evil plot by evil religious to enslave women?
At one point in time, it was prudent to hide one's assets so others won't be tempted to steal them. Those reasons no longer apply.
 

miss fortune

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I remember one comment that another girl made during Girls State in high school quite distinctly... we were sitting in the state government workers cafeteria eating lunch and people watching out the window... as we were watching, a larger woman got up and started to dance for her friends... and by larger I mean larger. She was wearing a short skirt and a tighter, low cut shirt and I was wondering why on earth she would wear something so revealing. I looked over at the girl I was sitting with and she was smiling... she said "I love the fact that she's so comfortable in her own body... it makes ME feel good!" :)

I've thought about that for about 10 years now, every time I see someone wearing something questionable according to conventional wisdom and feel like thinking something snarky, I stop and think- "that woman is COMFORTABLE in her skin... how many women can say that?"

Something about other women, no matter what their shape, being comfortable in their skin is comforting- I guess the thought that it IS acceptable to be yourself physically no matter what you're built like. :cheese:
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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No it's not true, of course, but I see his philosophy more as a suggestion, a hope, or a dream. Not something he delivered himself exactly. He seemed like another mess of a human being actually. While the philosophy was something he wanted to progress towards.
 

Nicodemus

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Aug 2, 2010
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No it's not true, of course, but I see his philosophy more as a suggestion, a hope, or a dream. Not something he delivered himself exactly. He seemed like another mess of a human being actually. While the philosophy was something he wanted to progress towards.
Have you ever read 'Ecce homo'?
 

KDude

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Nope, but it sounds interesting (honestly). I think I will get around to it. :)
 

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
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You know Nietzsche doesnt chart in my considerations of interesting or insightful philosophers at all, he could be one of the sign posts of a certain trend but to be honest he's journalistic and only exciting to teenagers who think their rebellious phase is earth shatteringly original.

When its all been done before.
 

Nicodemus

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You know Nietzsche doesnt chart in my considerations of interesting or insightful philosophers at all, he could be one of the sign posts of a certain trend but to be honest he's journalistic and only exciting to teenagers who think their rebellious phase is earth shatteringly original.

When its all been done before.
Do you want to know what Nietzsche thinks about you?
 
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