User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 86

  1. #1
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default Do people change?

    In your opinion, do you think that people change?

    Or more specifically, what spurs people to change? If someone is a shitty person, do you think they can just wake up one day and decide to no longer be a shitty person? Does an abusive man (whether emotionally or physically) one day just decide to not be a pig anymore, and becomes a romantic gentleman?

    If you truly do believe people can change, then do you believe is it sudden or gradual?

    JUST to clarify, this was just a hypothetical question! Haha, me and my roommate were watching Sex and the City and were wondering if people really do change. (ie MR. Big)

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    People change. And they change because they want to change. It's gradual. It takes continual effort in the beginning.

    I don't know about your abusive pig/romantic gentleman example. That sounds like a honeymoon period in the cycle of abuse.

  3. #3
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    I'm not sure what you mean by "shitty person" but yes damaged people can overcome their issues with drugs, alcohol, emotional instability, or even violence, but they have to want to and work at it, because frequently the scars which make them that way have been present since childhood or are neurological and biochemical in nature.

    Many people are capable of rehabilitation if they want it. Sociopaths are an obvious exception, and people with pathological narcissism and borderline personality disorder can be helped, but are notortiously hard to get into and keep in therapy because they think everyone else is the problem.

    Immature people grow up, and bitter, angry people can quit being destructive to themselves and others with some self-awareness and love.

  4. #4
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    Hm. Interesting.

    I suppose I have a very House-like view in people changing. Very skeptical about it.

  5. #5
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    House lacks emotional intelligence.

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    People make changes in their lives only when the pain of not changing outweighs the fear of change.

    As far as personality goes? No, not really. There's growth and building onto a personality from a specific starting point, but it's not like people can just choose to be something they are not. There's a line of continuity there.

    Does an abusive man (whether emotionally or physically) one day just decide to not be a pig anymore, and becomes a romantic gentleman?
    He might choose to be romantic, but he won't even know how, really, for some time -- it's a role he would have to grow into, and probably suffer relapses along the way.

    If you truly do believe people can change, then do you believe is it sudden or gradual?
    it depends on the personality involved, the change being made, and the context.

    For example, someone who is suddenly motivated to quit smoking might choose to just go cold turkey and never look back after that first day. Or she might have many relapses along the way and really struggle.

    Or someone who is codependent might have to work at not being codependent, and he'll need time to figure out how to not be codependent in given situations. Or maybe he'll just leave an abusive relationship and not look back.

    I always recommend Allen Wheelis' "How People Change" if you're into the more philosophical/psychological approach.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    I always recommend Allen Wheelis' "How People Change" if you're into the more philosophical/psychological approach.

    Thanks, I'll have to check it out!

  8. #8
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    6,168

    Default

    Building upon a personality is change is it not?
    My thoughts move towards one's attitude,
    I think attitude plays an important role on how we enter the world. It can be changed at will though needs it's time. It is our attitude that shines our personality in it's different lights and certainly we do not want to exist in our personality's most unhealthy state.

  9. #9
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    eNfj
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    660

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    People make changes in their lives only when the pain of not changing outweighs the fear of change.
    I agree with this. I think that extreme adversity or some sort of catastrophic event typically facilitates change. That change can be for the better or for the worse.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  10. #10
    Senior Member knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    409

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    I agree with this. I think that extreme adversity or some sort of catastrophic event typically facilitates change. That change can be for the better or for the worse.
    gradual

    hmmmmmm
    change coming from concern, an wanting to because they care or change being forced due to circumstance but not really caring or bothering to look beyound oneself

Similar Threads

  1. Why do people on the right tend to think climate change is fake?
    By asynartetic in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 275
    Last Post: 10-11-2017, 12:06 AM
  2. Do people change which functions they prefer due to life events?
    By Ribonuke in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-21-2013, 10:38 AM
  3. [MBTItm] Do functions change for people?
    By IndyGhost in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-07-2010, 06:51 PM
  4. How do people's minds actually seem to divide up?
    By Zergling in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-11-2007, 11:54 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO