It spoke to me also, and I agree with this point.The passage spoke to me.
I am not really sure that destruction of the physical relics of a time now past is necessary to move on -- it seems productive only if said artifacts are precluding one from moving ahead, but since the change occurs within, destruction of external items doesn't really impact it directly, it just removes potentially restrictive tethers.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering optional. (thanks Dana!). So I'd say, close the door to suffering, but accept that pain as a part of life and not forget its lesson.What I think Aelan and Dana mean is that unexpected disappointments and misfortunes will inevitably befall us, but whether we choose to hold onto something that is not there and never can be there, or something that is over and dead - in essence, whether we choose to suffer - is our own decision. I agree wholeheartedly with that. Perspective means everything.What is the difference?
Things touch us deeply, and sometimes we grow to think we need something when we really do not. The article touched on this. "Nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need."
I think an adaptive way of living life is not to put all your eggs in one basket. In other words, if all your happiness banks on the success of one cast of the line, with the possibility that you will reel nothing in... you're taking a big risk, an unnecessary risk, and a risk that, even if it doesn't end in failure, will probably make you anxious, jealous, worried, caged, and so on. Happiness does not come primarily from just one thing, or from just a few things. The more happiness you stake on a roll of the dice, the harder it is to move on if you lose.
I noticed the article kept bringing up relationships. "Has a loving relationship come to an end? [...] Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?" "We cannot forever be [...] lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back." Relationships are the basket I am at the most risk of putting all my eggs in.
I'd agree with this. Endings and beginnings, as Nightning said, are a matter of perception. However you define "moving on" and "closing the door" is your choice. I define "closing the door" as moving on to something else that will make me happy, or simply removing myself from a situation or a person that is letting me down and not making me happy. I practice daily the art of not placing all my eggs in one basket, or even in a small handful of baskets. That way, when things do come to an end, even if it's a terrible and violent one, I can still breathe fresh air and see that life will be renewed again.After saying all that, stepping further outwards, I can't say whether an ending or beginning truly exist. Our lives are like those of a movie -- split-second snapshots run one after the other, but our mind blurs them all together into a continuous stream of images and experience. (Just like the human eye blurs together 30 fps of a motion picture, to create what looks like continuous action and sound.) If you view it like that, where is there ever an ending or beginning inherent in the flow, except what we attribute to that flow out of our own personal sense of meaningfulness?
All is not lost, especially if my eggs aren't all in one basket.