i don't know about whether or not they should
be, but i believe that they are. even seemingly selfless acts can be explained as self-serving (i'm sure you've heard this argument before).
i would consider myself an extremely empathetic and self-sacrificing person, and i'm sure my friends would agree. but i can pinpoint self-serving reasons for everything i do. not all of those reasons are conscious, but they're there.
hellz nah. no one person's opinion should hold any more weight than anyone else's. that being said, you can try to change someone else's opinion if you want. sometimes i'd say it's even your duty (whatever that really means) to try to change someone else's opinion.