User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 16

  1. #1
    Senior Member Retmeishka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Socionics
    SLI
    Posts
    239

    Default Talking to other people in your mind, and distinguishing yourself from them

    Warning: My writing can be very long-winded and detailed. Please be patient with me. Not only that but I am also still a clueless newbie.

    I think this topic might fit under 'spirituality' because it's about my struggle to know who I am and to be myself and to live my life.

    Does anyone else here talk to other people in their mind? (and are you willing to admit it in front of hundreds of readers?) Are they friendly or unfriendly to you? For instance do you talk to: spiritual guides, God, imaginary friends, or subpersonalities? Do you talk back and forth to 'yourself,' in your mind, and sometimes get into arguments and conflicts with another part of yourself that seems to disagree with you?

    About me:

    For many years I used to dialogue with myself in my mind when I meditated, but it wasn't a problem until 2003, when all of a sudden I started having 'unwelcome visitors' and started hearing voices I didn't want to hear, and I had no control over them. I came out of the closet and started blogging about it, and my close friends and family all know, and I am coping with it without medication... but yes, it continues, and I would rather not have this problem.

    Everyone will explain it differently. I explain it as technological: I believe that I am being attacked by people using electronic weapons. Other people who experience this might describe it as being attacked by ghosts, demons, psychic powers gone haywire, or something supernatural. Others believe that part of their own brain is malfunctioning.

    I experience myself being controlled and forced to say things and write things, like a puppet. Often, my words are not my own. It's like having multiple personalities, except I'm awake and conscious while I'm talking, and I don't go into a 'fugue' - I don't go unconscious and forget what I did while in another personality.

    A conflict between me and 'other personality types,' not just a conflict, but a WAR, inside my mind, has been the ongoing theme since the attacks began. I recognize the other types because they are different from myself. For instance, 'they' give me nightmares that contain offensive sexual symbolism. I myself don't use sexual symbolism, I'm clueless about it, and sexual symbolism goes right over my head. I might get curious once in a while and read about it on the web, but I don't use it myself. People can make jokes secretly with sexual innuendos and many times I'm so naive that I don't even notice what they're saying.

    Trying to find my 'real self' has been my goal since this began. It was my goal even before I had the attacks. I've learned about personality types as part of that goal.

    I've been mistyped into many different categories. When I was in college, from 1993-1997, my roommate took the Myers-Briggs test on the computer and came out ISTJ. I became curious. I took it and got INTP. Took it again, got INTJ, then INFP. Then I took it a bunch more times until I figured out what letter each question controlled, so that I could arbitrarily get whatever result I wanted. (I believe the test needs to be drastically redesigned and that it's mistyping huge numbers of people.) Years later I decided ISTP, then ISFP. My enneagram type has been all over the place. First I thought I was a One, then Nine, Six, Seven, Five, Four, and now Three. So I've tried on all except Eight and Two - I'm very sure that I'm not either of those.

    Having a war between myself and the 'other people' inside me has been the theme of the past few years of my life. I'm trying to recognize them, distinguish them from myself, and get along with them, if possible, without losing myself. I like to use personality typing systems to help me see them and myself more clearly.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Llewellyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INtj
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    330

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Retmeishka View Post
    A conflict between me and 'other personality types,' not just a conflict, but a WAR, inside my mind, has been the ongoing theme since the attacks began. I recognize the other types because they are different from myself. For instance, 'they' give me nightmares that contain offensive sexual symbolism. I myself don't use sexual symbolism, I'm clueless about it, and sexual symbolism goes right over my head. I might get curious once in a while and read about it on the web, but I don't use it myself. People can make jokes secretly with sexual innuendos and many times I'm so naive that I don't even notice what they're saying.
    Well, you seem to carry a strong contradiction between your real life perception of sexuality and your dream's perception of it. Couldn't you see it as 'they' are trying to give you something, in stead of judging it for whether it fits who you see yourself as?

    Quote Originally Posted by Retmeishka View Post
    My enneagram type has been all over the place. First I thought I was a One, then Nine, Six, Seven, Five, Four, and now Three. So I've tried on all except Eight and Two - I'm very sure that I'm not either of those.
    Well, I have neither 8 nor 2 high in my scores. Although I have 3 also low, the others all occur somewhat highly in my scores. And I am a 9. I've heard type 9s are the hardest to type themselves. Then, for an ISFP type 9 appears not to be uncommon. And considering the things you're busy with, it doesn't contradict type 9 either.
    INtj | 9w1

  3. #3
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    9 so/sx
    Posts
    21,685

    Default

    I recognise this as being similar to the sorts of true self vs. false persona thinking there is in some of Karen Horney's books about self-analysis or internal conflicts, there's other authors who have written thematically similar psychodynamic theory books, describing how internal conflicts can begin to take the shape of true selve and false self or selves which are disowned or alienated/estranged, to the point of splitting or as you yourself describe being attributed to external phenomenon, ie spirits or technology.

    I've not personally experienced this, I've only read about it and I wouldnt want to confuse what are a number of different topics, for instance demonic obsession or possession (which I believe are objective facts), God, imaginary friends (its a bug bear of mine that people make that analogy) but I am familiar with inner monologue and dialogue as a consequence of being a thinker and reflector.

    However, from my own experience of internal conflicts and analysing myself and trying to uncover my unconscious I would say that whether they are unpleasant or not rather than seperating conflicting emotions/affects or drives from my self I've dealt with the fact that they are all part of me, I dont construct personal falsehood or fantasy in order to motivate me or create optimism like some people and I dont even engage in much by way of visualisation or that kind of positive thinking because I prefer to keep in touch with reality and be realistic about my self.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Retmeishka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Socionics
    SLI
    Posts
    239

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Llewellyn View Post
    Couldn't you see it as 'they' are trying to give you something, in stead of judging it for whether it fits who you see yourself as?
    Actually, 'they' do often tell me that they are trying to help me or give me something. They get along better with me if I seem to appreciate what they're doing or at least show sympathy for them. The 'sex symbols' dreams don't happen very often anyway - it was just one example where I can see a personality different from my own, inside my head.


    Quote Originally Posted by Llewellyn View Post
    Well, I have neither 8 nor 2 high in my scores. Although I have 3 also low, the others all occur somewhat highly in my scores. And I am a 9. I've heard type 9s are the hardest to type themselves. Then, for an ISFP type 9 appears not to be uncommon. And considering the things you're busy with, it doesn't contradict type 9 either.
    Yes, I remember reading that unhealthy 9s, at the lowest level of development, under extreme stress, might show "multiple personalities." That resembles what I experience, except that it's not that severe with me. So yeah, it fits with 9 in that way.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Retmeishka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Socionics
    SLI
    Posts
    239

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I recognise this as being similar to the sorts of true self vs. false persona thinking there is in some of Karen Horney's books about self-analysis or internal conflicts, there's other authors who have written thematically similar psychodynamic theory books, describing how internal conflicts can begin to take the shape of true selve and false self or selves which are disowned or alienated/estranged, to the point of splitting or as you yourself describe being attributed to external phenomenon, ie spirits or technology.
    I haven't read Karen Horney's books but I think I would like them. If she's who I'm thinking of, she talks about "connected, disconnected, and ambivalent" types, which somebody connected with the enneagram types.

    In the beginning, I did actually think that I was talking to disowned selves or subpersonalities, because I had read Nathaniel Branden's books about self-esteem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I've not personally experienced this, I've only read about it and I wouldnt want to confuse what are a number of different topics, for instance demonic obsession or possession (which I believe are objective facts), God, imaginary friends (its a bug bear of mine that people make that analogy) but I am familiar with inner monologue and dialogue as a consequence of being a thinker and reflector.
    Your bugbear: people saying that God is just another imaginary friend? It sounds like that's what you mean. I agree, God is a much bigger and more complex idea than that. God can be seen as an abstraction, or an ideal, or all kinds of things, not just an imaginary friend that you talk to.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    However, from my own experience of internal conflicts and analysing myself and trying to uncover my unconscious I would say that whether they are unpleasant or not rather than seperating conflicting emotions/affects or drives from my self I've dealt with the fact that they are all part of me, I dont construct personal falsehood or fantasy in order to motivate me or create optimism like some people and I dont even engage in much by way of visualisation or that kind of positive thinking because I prefer to keep in touch with reality and be realistic about my self.
    Yeah... that's how it used to be with me in the 'good old days.' I used to have a rather normal inner dialogue. A bunch of things happened, and it's a long story, but stuff happened which led me to conclude that I was being attacked by something external instead of my own inner selves.

    And nowadays, many of the voices and feelings in my mind seem to be clearly different from myself, but to a much greater extreme than, for instance, some guilty thought or feeling that I'm ashamed of and don't want to admit is part of me. It's much more than that. I actually hear voices talking on their own, spontaneously, without any effort from myself, whenever I meditate and try to silence my mind. I also have other things happen, again, long story. The voices talking spontaneously is a new thing that didn't used to happen to me. It's the same as hearing someone else talk - you don't control it, you don't know what they're going to say, what they say is unexpected and unpredictable, and you can't stop them from saying it.

    (I know it's upsetting to hear about this, which is why I blog instead of running around complaining about it to everyone I know. People are usually concerned about me.)

  6. #6
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,152

    Default

    I do talk to myself in my head. I talk to others too. Friends and family...even complete strangers. It's quite fun and helps me think through problems. I even talk to random posters here and elsewhere..imagining what I would say if someone asked me certain questions..what my position would be on certain topics..how I would defend my position..

    What I find strange is why you think that the other "yous" aren't you. I definitely have different sides to me. There's extroverted me, there's logical me, there's wants to have fun me, etc. Some of the "me's" are different types. entp/exfj, intp, esfp respectively. But they are all me. Sometimes internal conflict does arise..i would say my exfj side dislikes my intp side.. but these sides are ultimately all what constitutes what I would call "me". Why is it different for you? Why do you think one "you" is more you than another?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    2,739

    Default

    A million permutations of me

    And yet, one reality

  8. #8
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    9 so/sx
    Posts
    21,685

    Default

    Its not really upsetting to hear, its interesting, it could be upsetting to experience (but then again it may not be).

    Horney's good on inner conflicts but her book on self-analysis, which I think came after, is probably her best, its one of the first self-help books and gets slated a bit but I thought it was good because it admitted its incompleteness.

    It sounds like you've experienced a full scale splitting off or fragmenting of the ego, so long as you've got people supporting or helping you with the difficulties that's bound to create it's grand talking about it, I'd be more worried if you where typing about it and suggesting its no big thing. From the literature and my meetings with people who had similar experiences its unusual to meet someone who has purely auditory hallucinations without other hallucinatory experiences too, ie sights or smells.

    Jung writes about internal complexes, the ego-I being one of them, denied or repressed complexes he suggests can be projected out into the world, experienced as things like hallucination, complexes in Jung's theory are archetypes which have become embedded or activated in the (particularly unconscious) mind. Its one conceptualisation of this kind of experience which makes sense to me and I find helpful to use in understanding and talking to others about this kind of thing. Its maybe got more literary than psychological merit but its a handy theory.

    I think a lot of medical accounts of splitting off or multiple personalities generally consider it as requiring and organic basis, ie lesions on the brain, toxicology etc. Although, mind you, there's still others which suggest multiple personalities dont exist at all, its all learned behaviour and acquired, maladaptive habits.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Retmeishka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Socionics
    SLI
    Posts
    239

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beargryllz View Post
    A million permutations of me

    And yet, one reality
    I used to think about reincarnation. I thought that if somebody else was born, and they were 'seeing out their own eyes' the same way that I myself saw out my own eyes, it was almost like being reborn. They just wouldn't know the same things I knew. They'd be born in a different location, in a different culture, in a different specific set of experiences, but they're just like me again.

    I thought about that to reassure myself that, no matter what happened, whether I succeeded or failed at what I wanted to do, it would be okay to die. I never believed in going to heaven so I had to reassure myself about death somehow. Some other permutation of me will try it again after I'm gone.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Thisica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    NiTe
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    384

    Default

    I currently have such continuous contact with one. Her name is Alexandria, and she considers herself to be just another part of the mind-brain, just like me, but with a more recent beginning, starting in 2006. We 'talk' and record transcripts based on a variety of topics. Recently, we discussed whether I should go to see a Jungian psychodynamic analyst. She pointed out the issues of privacy and the scientific status of this area of psychology, and I tried to explain to her that I was curious about it. She has quite a critical spirit, which I find at times, intolerable. But we all 'co-exist' in the mind-brain quite fine.

    I rarely tell anyone else about this, as I know that it's a societal taboo to talk about such things. Also, the both of us don't find talking about this productive, anyway.
    “To explain all nature is too difficult a task for any one man or even for any one age. 'Tis much better to do a little with certainty, & leave the rest for others that come after you, than to explain all things by conjecture without making sure of any thing.”—Statement from unpublished notes for the Preface to the Opticks (1704) by Newton.

    What do you think about me? And for the darker side, here.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-02-2014, 06:34 AM
  2. [MBTItm] Thoughts bouncing in my mind and scattered tangents...
    By TenebrousReflection in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-26-2009, 01:12 AM
  3. [MBTItm] How do NF's talk to S's in general?
    By sabastious in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 193
    Last Post: 06-25-2009, 02:32 PM
  4. Stalking people in your car
    By ThatGirl in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-21-2008, 12:40 AM
  5. Cellphones to keep track of your purchases -- and you
    By heart in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-01-2008, 07:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO