I'm amazed how no one seems to fear death

[Laurie]

I pretty much rationalize away any fear that I have. I've seen people live their lives in fear and it's not something I ever want to do. Everything carries a risk, everything is taking a chance. If I really lived in fear of death I wouldn't drive or ride in a car because that is hella unsafe.

Like Marm said, most people are afraid of how they might die or of pain but that's not even being afraid of death. I also agree with Qlippoth in that it seems so far away, is my kindergartener afraid of graduating from high school? When it gets to the point of dealing with death you've already lived your life. I imagine when someone knows they will die there may be real rational fear, otherwise it's too "far away" to worry about.

I have very few fears just because of not wanting to live in fear. As a teen I was afraid of dying and I was afraid of rape. I didn't want my first sexual experience to be rape and I didn't want to die before I experienced marriage or having children. I'm not as afraid of death anymore. It's a natural thing that happens, we are small parts of a large whole of humanity.

I don't want to die because I want my kids to know me and I want to know my grandkids but otherwise no, I'm not afraid of death at all.

There is a difference with being "afraid" of something and having a fear of it. I can get freaked out by nasty bugs but bugs don't "scare" me.

I'm guessing more people are afraid of pain than of death.

Erm: This seems like a chronic fear - from the OP "deeply unsettled by the thought."

 

[Such Irony]

I guess I could call myself an agnostic, if stating that matters in any way. I don't fear death either. At least not in a way that I would feel paralyzed by the fear. Of course I'd prefer to die at a comfortably old age and not go through immense suffering before I do. But other than that, I have no control over death (I'll leave suicide out of the equation for the moment), no way of avoiding it or any means of controlling what happens after I do die. So why should I worry about it? I'll deal with that when the time comes, but for now I'd rather concentrate on living instead. Worrying about it would only take away the precious time and energy that would be more beneficial for keeping on living and enjoying various things life has to offer.

All the things listed in the OP, things you've come to love and appreciate, I don't think any of these matter to you personally anymore once you're dead. You've been given time to love and appreciate these things, but you're not supposed to hang on to them forever. Once you've fulfilled your purpose it's time to move on. And since nobody knows what's going to happen once you do move on, the only thing to worry about is living your life and enjoying it as best as you can.

Maybe I worded my original post poorly. I am well aware of the fact that the things I've come to love and appreciate won't matter to me anymore when I'm dead. I guess what I really fear is the process of dying or knowing that your death is coming up soon (as in the case of a terminal illness). I worry about whether or not I'd have the strength to psychologically cope with it. It's hard enough dealing with one major loss in life, let alone loss of 'everything.'

You said that once you've fulfilled your purpose, it's time to move on. But what if life has no purpose at all? This I fear even more than death. That my life was all for nothing. I'm not religious. I'm not sure life has any inherent meaning at all. And that thought is extremely unsettling. As is the thought about not meant to hold onto things forever. I just don't like the idea of losses in life. Even those that aren't related to death.

I'd just like to make peace with the fact that I will die someday and I wish I wasn't so preoccupied with it. I've been thinking about it more lately because I'm almost 32 and am starting to show signs of early aging already. So in a way, I already feel like I'm gradually losing things like looks or physical health or mental capacity.

Everyone dies. I try not to be afraid for my entire life because well, that sounds kinda shitty.

I don't do anything to severely hasten it, though. I certainly don't want to die, but as a young healthy person, it's kinda silly to dwell on it, don't you think?

Quality of life is important too, not just quantity.

Yes, quality I think is more important than quantity. However, I don't think it's silly to think about death as a young healthy person. You know it's going to happen someday and you want to be prepared for it when it does. It doesn't do good to constantly dwell upon it, I agree but I also think it's bad to completely deny it.

I fear death. I feared death so much at one point I had to be given medication for anxiety. Of course, I dealt with a lot of death at a very young age, so I see it as more of a reality than I think some people do.

I also think it just had to do with having panic disorder. I know it also helped me a lot when I was with my ex. I sometimes had this feeling when I was with him that I didn't care if I died.

What that tells me is that I don't want to die alone.

I wasn't exposed to much death when I was young except for the deaths of a couple of great grandparents. However, death always seemed real to me. I know lots of kids and teenagers think that somehow they're invincible- that diseases and accidents and other tragedies happen to other people but never to them. I was never like that. I knew that those sorts of things could just as easily happen to me as they could to others. So, while other teens and even young adults were careless, I took precautions. Others didn't think twice about having unprotected sex. I never would unless I was sure the other tested negative for AIDS. I watch what I eat because eating the wrong foods can speed up death. Etc, etc.

I'm also scared of dying alone.

Do you fear the setting sun? A flock of geese flying overhead? Do you worry about whether or not the socks in your sock drawer are sometimes inside-out and then wail in agony?

Fearing the inevitable is silly, but accepting the inevitable is not easy for everybody.

No I don't fear the setting sun, or geese flying overhead, or socks being inside out because I know that those are only temporary states and they are reversible. Death isn't. Once you're dead that's it.

I know I definitely have difficultly accepting the inenvitable, especially when it's so final and irreversible as in the case of death. I know my life would be happier if I could just make peace with that fact. But I can't do it. At least not yet.

I fear getting eaten by a female bear in the zoo. They're so mean.

I fear that too. What a horrible way to die! I fear a brutal and painful death. If I must die, then at least let it be peacefully, without pain.

 

[Such Irony]

EDIT: If I'd have to guess why I think like this, it's because I've spent quite some time in sort of an uncertainty financially and philosophically. That was quite depressing. The only way out was to start enjoying life as something totally uncertain.

I wish I was more like that. I think I'd find life far more satisfying I could make peace with the idea that there are no guarantees. In general I've been too much of a play it safe sort of person. Not just about big life or death issues but about the more mundane things as well.

Yes, we are the only animal that consciously fears death. And in fact we are so conscious of death that we have created ten thousand religions to rationalise it.

And in my opinion, we are the only animal that is conscious. Of course some other animals look conscious, particularly pets, because they have emotions. But I don't believe they are conscious of their emotions as we are conscious of ours.

So not only do we have a visceral fear of death like all other animals but we are conscious of our visceral fear of death.

This is a very painful situation to be in. And it is a situation no other animal finds itself in. So we are the only animal that has created religion.

I agree it's a painful situation to be in to the point where I've thought that it would just be easier to be an animal that doesn't have this conscious visceral fear. Then again, I love being human. I love being able to reason, to feel, to imagine things. Other animals can reason and feel but are they consciously aware that they are doing so? It's probably mostly visceral and if they are consciously aware, it's on a primitive level- nothing like what we humans experience. So it's a tradeoff.

 

[Athenian200]

I think you're misinterpreting the statistics. I think that most people DO fear death. But most of them:

A. Fear other things even more than death.
B. Believe in an afterlife.
C. Are so afraid of death that they avoid thinking about it in surveys.

In my case, it's A. I fear the idea of living with brain damage, more than death. I would hate to just be a retarded shell of who I used to be.

That doesn't mean I don't fear death, though. Of course I do.

 

[nolla]

Sounds like an important distinction. I didn't sense anything chronic about what was described in the OP. Chronic implies that you keep vividly confronting it in your own imagination.

I consider it chronic if there is nothing around that can actually kill you. Sure, it isn't chronic in the way that it is compulsive, but I guess I have a wide definition of the word.

I wish I was more like that. I think I'd find life far more satisfying I could make peace with the idea that there are no guarantees. In general I've been too much of a play it safe sort of person. Not just about big life or death issues but about the more mundane things as well.

I think you can train yourself to need less control. Get into situations that are out of control. Go travelling with minimal planning, or do something that is controlled but feels like it isn't (bungee jumping or something), or I don't know, just break the habit for the heck of it, be a street performer for a day.

 

[Arclight]

I think we all fear death.. This is why we stop and look before crossing the streets , wear the proper clothing in winter, avoid eating rat poison, duck when someone starts shooting and run from charging bulls.

It's instinctive.. if it wasn't, we would all probably be dead already.

Now, I am sure some of us have comes to terms, on some level, with the fact that death is inevitable.

 

[Lark]

I fear pain more than I do death, certain sorts of pain and I fear oblivion.

 

[Lark]

I think that the fear of death reflects how disatisfied people are with their lives or how alienated they are too.

 

[rav3n]

At a more conceptual level, is this just another manifestation of the fear of the unknown where some tag it with worst case scenarios?

Also, do some want to live forever? If so, you're going to fear death more than others who don't.

 

[Lark]

I think you're misinterpreting the statistics. I think that most people DO fear death. But most of them:

A. Fear other things even more than death.
B. Believe in an afterlife.
C. Are so afraid of death that they avoid thinking about it in surveys.

In my case, it's A. I fear the idea of living with brain damage, more than death. I would hate to just be a retarded shell of who I used to be.

That doesn't mean I don't fear death, though. Of course I do.

But would you know? I mean if you were the "retarded shell" how would you be aware of or know what you once were? Perhaps we are the retarded shell of our spiritual selves or souls?

 

[Snuggletron]

When you die, you lose *everything* you've come to love and appreciate. You have no more contact with your loved ones or friends. You can't eat any more tasty food, listen to any more music, or see any more beautiful art. You can no longer do the things you love. You can no longer contribute to the betterment of society. You can no longer gain knowledge or insights on things. Death is far worse than major losses in life. If you lose a loved one, at least hopefully you have other relationships you can depend on. If you lose your hearing and can no longer listen to music, you still have your vision and can appreciate a sunset or beautiful art. But when you die, that's it. It's *all* gone.

Maybe I take this viewpoint precisely because I don't believe in any sort of afterlife. However, I've heard several atheists also say they don't fear death either. The people who claim to not fear death are not necessarily depressed or nihilistic either. Some are very well adjusted people who currently enjoy life. And I'm not sure age has much to do with it either. It's not just old people who are saying that. I've heard that from 18 year olds as well.

Have you ever suddenly lost consciousness? If you have, you'll know that in that period of being unconscious, you lose 'you'. There is no 'you' so there is no fear. Everything 'you' goes away. When you wake, you have no memory or conception of what happened in the period of time. This is very likely what death is, except death being permanent. You cannot have consciousness without working matter to support it (i.e.: a living normal-functioning brain). This is why death is nothing to be afraid of. Remember how things were before you were conceived in the womb? No. And that's a point worth mentioning.

 

[Such Irony]

At a more conceptual level, is this just another manifestation of the fear of the unknown where some tag it with worst case scenarios?

Also, do some want to live forever? If so, you're going to fear death more than others who don't.

I'm not so sure I would want to live forever What will I do once I've learned everything I want to learn and experience everything I want to experience? Then life would be very boring. To live life constantly bored would be torture. What I do wish for is a greatly increased life span because the life expectancy as it stands today, doesn't give me nearly enough time to learn and experience all the things I want.

I'm not so sure that those who don't want to live forever necessarily fear death more than those who don't. You can still fear death in the sense that you worry that you'll die before you feel ready to.

I think that the fear of death reflects how disatisfied people are with their lives or how alienated they are too.

Do you think people who are dissatisfied with their lives fear death more? Maybe to a point, but I think if someone was extremely dissatisfied, they might welcome death if see no hope of things improving in the future.

I do agree more alienated people probably fear death more.

 

[Mole]

I'm not so sure I would want to live forever.

If you lived forever, you wouldn't live at all. For we are only aware of our being through our awareness of our non-being.

 

[Octarine]

It is important not to confuse fears with phobias. Phobias result in significant anxiety and avoidance behaviours, whereas fears may merely be that which Victor stated in a previous post.

It is not so much death that people fear, but a premature death. A death before achieving certain life goals*. A death before saying goodbye to those who one loves.

*(or giving ones life meaning as a previous poster put it - though I disagree that meaning in life is created through achievements or contribution to society)

 

[Nijntje]

Have you ever suddenly lost consciousness? If you have, you'll know that in that period of being unconscious, you lose 'you'. There is no 'you' so there is no fear. Everything 'you' goes away. When you wake, you have no memory or conception of what happened in the period of time. This is very likely what death is, except death being permanent. You cannot have consciousness without working matter to support it (i.e.: a living normal-functioning brain). This is why death is nothing to be afraid of. Remember how things were before you were conceived in the womb? No. And that's a point worth mentioning.

This is pretty much how i view it as well. I don't fear death, i fear zombies and and dying alone and the possible pain that may be associated with death.

The inevitability and certainty of death removes the fear for me. Now, HOW i die i may well be afraid of, but death itself? No.

 

[erm]

Have you ever suddenly lost consciousness? If you have, you'll know that in that period of being unconscious, you lose 'you'. There is no 'you' so there is no fear. Everything 'you' goes away. When you wake, you have no memory or conception of what happened in the period of time

Having no memory of that time is precisely why I don't pretend to know what's going on during it. Absence of evidence not being evidence of absence.

For example, there's evidence to suggest people are conscious throughout sleep, or a lot more of it than is generally thought, but it simply isn't recorded into memory. It is all but proven that a lot of it is forgotten within the first few minutes of waking up. There's also people recording that they are conscious when very drunk, yet having no memory of it afterwards (even just a few seconds afterwards).

There's some interesting research going on in this area, especially around people who used to be in comas, and those who are very advanced meditators.

 

[gromit]

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZOHY7Z5eaQ"]I Couldn't Help It[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Snuggletron]

Having no memory of that time is precisely why I don't pretend to know what's going on during it. Absence of evidence not being evidence of absence.

For example, there's evidence to suggest people are conscious throughout sleep, or a lot more of it than is generally thought, but it simply isn't recorded into memory. It is all but proven that a lot of it is forgotten within the first few minutes of waking up. There's also people recording that they are conscious when very drunk, yet having no memory of it afterwards (even just a few seconds afterwards).

There's some interesting research going on in this area, especially around people who used to be in comas, and those who are very advanced meditators.

maybe you are right, but it seems more of a stretch that somehow our consciousness goes on with no body to support it rather than it just ending. Then again, I was reading up on NDE's and how quantum mechanics could play a role in a transition of consciousness to "phase space", much like a body would be to a phone, the brain a receiver and consciousness to information in waves. This could be natural phenomena then(?) I guess this isn't news, that research has been going on for a few decades at least.

 

[erm]

maybe you are right, but it seems more of a stretch that somehow our consciousness goes on with no body to support it rather than it just ending. Then again, I was reading up on NDE's and how quantum mechanics could play a role in a transition of consciousness to "phase space", much like a body would be to a phone, the brain a receiver and consciousness to information in waves. This could be natural phenomena then(?) I guess this isn't news, that research has been going on for a few decades at least.

Yeah. In fairness though, I wasn't suggesting that the consciousness goes on without the body, more that that line of reasoning doesn't provide evidence either way.

 

[Within]

I fear death to the point that I will shit myself once I'm dead.

:O