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Thread: I'm amazed how no one seems to fear death

  1. #71
    Honor Thy Inferior Array Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IntrovertedThinker View Post
    Horrible. I started suffering from anxiety at night and become completely obsessed with the fear of death so much so that I couldn't really enjoy even the most basic experiences. This also happened when I was depressed at one point. Food had no taste and I lost enjoyment of everything. Each day was one of suffering -- tormented by the anticipation of death, constantly thinking about that which I do not wish to accept, but which I logically know must be and won't really matter. I wish I could explain it more thoroughly, but I've not been in that condition for many months, so it's a bit foreign to me at this point. I just remember it being absolute mental agony.
    I'm going through a similar crisis myself right now, but luckily it's not nearly as intense. I do enjoy many things about life. I just think about death more than I'd like and as I've gotten older I've thought about it more and more. Usually the thought occurs several times a day. I am able to distract myself from those thoughts most of the time but its still annoying when the thoughts creep up.
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  2. #72
    Senior Member Array KDude's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say I have a crippling fear, but I get an overwhelming sense of fear of death that's more like a survival mechanism. I mean, it's fear that has helped me avoid some people or certain situations or not to do something dumb. I'm only 33 and I already know more than enough people who didn't seem to have this. I guess in one light you could call some of them tragically cool or something, but it's not for me.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Array Xellotath's Avatar
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    Feb 2009


    I think that someone who doesn't fear death doesn't value life. Devaluing life is easy, just believe that you'll still stick around, that you're off to other worlds, like heaven and hell. I think culture offers plenty of ways of deceiving yourself that death is not an absolute.

    I'm all for existential crisis. Having gone through one, is to me, the minimum requirement when i consider someone for a romantic relationship. Someone who is not intimately aware of their own death, seems like a child to me; no matter how epic their transcendental spirituality might be - or how much they tell themselves that they can control it by simply stating "its inevitable". It just comes across as fake.

    To me death means to acknowledge that there's no abstraction out there to save you. All ideas and their connections fail to prevent death [N] . That no matter what sensory perception you might enjoy, none of them will save you either [S]. You can't think yourself out of death [T], and you definitely wont be spared if you "held" the right value in your heart [Fi]... or if you treated everyone around properly [Fe]. The loss is absolute and there's no recovery.

    "Neurotic, ha!"
    I let out a scornful laugh.
    "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell.
    I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

    — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

  4. #74
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    Was thinking about this a bit more and if you consider that the largest percentage of us are in our twenties and thirties, where there's a much smaller subset in their forties and a few in their fifties, it's probably not a surprise that most don't fear death as much as the older crowd.

  5. #75


    The other day I was going through deceased patient charts. I remembered one of the names, and pictured the person in my mind. Then I thought about what they looked like, laying there all done up.

    I pictured the cold, waxy, surreal, energy surrounding the body and the way they were so artificially posed. The sense that death has occurred and the hazy morbidity of it.

    Then for some reason, I pictured myself, aged, and in the same situation.

    It was freaky. Suddenly I almost felt the complete emptiness that encompasses death.

    And it made me realize, I am not going to be there. I mean really realize. Most of the time when I have thought about death, it is about myself dying or myself dead. Idk, this was different.

    Anyway, I don't think it is the best thing to happen to a body I have utilized and taken care of for years, but for some reason, I think the fear of death is associated with vanity.

    We take care of our minds and bodies in an effort to grow, survive, refine, do better, better, better. Then suddenly that ability is stripped away from us. The body deteriorates, and breaks down years of growth. Like if you spent 10 years building the perfect house, only to have someone come and demolish it in a day. Yet if you never were going to see the house again, would it have really mattered?

  6. #76
    Senior Member Array Tabula's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
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    It seems like everything we fear is a form of fear of death in some way.

    Public speaking? You, alone, vulnerable, in front of a crowd [herd] of intent listeners. Alone and vulnerable - like prey - trapped and dangled, exposing your belly to a den of wolves.

    Spiders? Rationally - you're bigger than it - it shouldn't be able to hurt/kill you. But damn, does it look scary. Maybe because of that reason, it's so much smaller than you and looks s'damned scary [possibly venomous] that it could pass right under your radar, and bite/hurt you when you least expect it.

    If not for something having the potential ability to hurt you [and why is hurting so bad? Oh yeah, because it means something is harming you. Harming you is bad - it means you can die.] than what is there to fear?

    And that ability, to accept it, to live in spite of it, is just as important as the fear we have that acts as a signpost, or an alert, to avoid the danger and possible death. To live in constant fear of death is negating life - another form of death. This is [I think] at the very root of my existential anxiety, or any anxiety, or any insecurity. Why I feel overwhelmed by the world/incapable of living in it functionally sometimes. Maybe this is why Ne/Ni are not as common as dominant or auxiliary mental processes as Se/Si, so it seems anyway, and that's if these are even real. To operate primarily through the lens of "now," to rely primarily on past experience, is important for the survival of the species, I think. If most of our species were concerned with future/bombarded with possibilites/looking for the real "meaning" behind everything all the time, I doubt we'd be as successful in that regard. Variation is awesome. (Note: I'm not saying that Ss do not have these worries, or that Ns do not live in the moment or ever rely on their past experiences, or think about the same possibilies in the same ways, that produce the same effects. I'm saying that the likelihood of one doing one most of the time as opposed to the other is greater, provided CF theory has some merit. Also, this is totally some kind of fallacy. I forget the name. I'm just gon' throw it out there anyway as something to think about, maybe. )

    But, I could just be talking out of my ass/making that all up.

    That being said - yes - I'm petrified of dying. The uncertainty of the method coupled with the certainty of its inevitably unsettles me to my core. There is NO OTHER WAY, this is GOING to happen, and I do not know how, or when. It feels like some perverted mass torture, as silly as that sounds to say.

    I really admire people who can accept this. The whole "Everyone dies" or "Well, it's inevitable, why fear it?" reasons that people give, are precisely the reasons I fear it. Yes, everyone dies. That means I have no other way. There are no other options for me. I'm going to die and I can't do anything about it. But the whole "meaninglessness" issue was much harder for me to deal with when I was younger. I imagine most, if not all, people deal with that at some point. I don't know why it was so hard for me (and it is wrong of me to assume it is not this hard for everyone, I realize. It feels harder for me, is what I mean.) I can't accept it, so I've had to learn ways to ward off thoughts about it so I don't have to deal with it at all. Maybe someday I will be able to just accept it, and live productively and meaningfully in spite of it. I imagine that's what we're all trying to do in some/our own ways.

    /agnostic atheist and incurable idealist

  7. #77
    Senior Member Array Shimmy's Avatar
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    Jun 2009


    I'm an Atheist and I don't fear death. I don't see any reason in fearing something inevitable and unescapable. When you die, you die!

  8. #78


    I'm scared of it.

    I am religious to an extent. but most of all, it's not only the "after life" that I sort of consider. It's the seconds right before I actually die that I fear...The knowledge that this is my last few moments of consciousness... What will I think? see? miss? etc....

    I wish I can live forever. So I can experienced the advance and destruction of human kind and our achievements.

  9. #79
    Senior Member Array Fluxkom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Death is inevitable. Why fear this? When dead, you're not going to care about anything. You're gone.[/atheist position]

    And as OP writes you don't fear death itself you fear the things that come with it. Losing people, stuff, everything you acquired and achieved in life, that is what scares people about death.
    Best to free yourself from those restrictions during life already.
    At least that's what I think the minimalist lifestyle approach origins in.
    When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

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  10. #80
    Was E.laur Array Laurie's Avatar
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    In truth I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be afraid of. I would imagine it's mostly the unknown. If I died right now I would be worried about the effect it would have on my children but I trust my husband and family to take care of them. There is no other choice I have. Worrying that I *could* die and leave them isn't going to make our lives any better, in fact unneeded worry will teach them to worry about things they can't change.

    I was always afraid of dying and leaving my kids with no mother because that is what happened to my grandmother when her mother died but as my kids get older that fear is less and less. My grandma died at 95 and she was to the point where she didn't have any contemporaries left. She enjoyed knowing her great grand children but otherwise she was getting old and feeble, even with a fully functional brain.

    I did used to have more fear about death and I've had more time to consider these things over the years than most people posting. I've seen more life and death. How do you explain my friend whose two year old died? It's part of life/death, you just have to celebrate what you have.

    I think some of this came about when I was dealing with a baby in utero with an abnormality (healthwise). I had no ability to change what was coming, I had to accept that if she didn't make it when she was born that the time I had with her in the womb was what I was supposed to have. No one knew how serious it would be but just that she had a problem with her kidneys. Railing against death wouldn't change anything, we just had to wait and see what would happen. (She had surgery at 4 months and is a happy ExxP drama queen now)

    Life is more precious than we think but also less precious than we think.

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