For you n00bs who don't know, I'm a christian turned atheist/nihilist/existentialist/satanist (the Laveyan kind). I don't have a negative view of life, I accept it for what it is. I think we're at the tail end of the crappy part of human existence, in a century or two the earth will be a kick ass place to live. Provided we don't fuck up in an epic way.
I don't believe in your god or any other god or anything which could be described as supernatural, spiritual and the like.
I argue against god hypothetically. It's cathartic. You think there's a god? Ok, let's say there's a god.
If a god does exist, fuck him. If you believe in God and think he's doing a great job, fuck you.
On human suffering, I'm not saying God should end all human suffering and we should spend our days blissfully singing happy happy joy joy without a care in the world. I just think God should step in when things get out of control like genocide, famine, plagues, war. Maybe snuff out the really bad diseases like HIV, cancer, ebola, the plague. I don't mind the occasional cold. A little conflict makes life interesting.
On God's master plan in the context of which all this doesn't look so bad: fuck that. I don't want to play your God's little game. He doesn't own me, he has no right to tell me what to do. He can leave me the fuck alone.
Take everything as an exception because God is my passion. I did see a change in the way I wrote on my blog - and I am self aware of this. I wrote some stuff last year, and it was about very technical things that interested me - usually social issues, such as children's fairytales. I was a reporter with The New Paper, Singapore and that was when I wrote that article about the girl who committed suicide and a few others. Those were topics that interested me. My favourite writer was Maddox, and I agreed with every social commentary he ever made!
You know, if you've watched the movie Borat, (and it's a scripted documentary) when "Borat" walked into the church, one of the US senators was in there, jumping about during praise and worship. All I can say that when it comes to God, I can't apply human logic to it and just say everything I think and feel, and nothing has ever meant or felt this much to me.
God gave you the free will to make that choice Sassa but its hard to pee upwards because gravity pulls things down. Its hard to say you dont want to grow hair cos it keeps growing whether you like it or not. Whether I like it or not, I'm gonna get my period. Unless, I kill myself.
You see, the unless is... if you kill yourself.
Its difficult for a pot to fight the potter, like those Bugs Bunny cartoons where the cartoon tries to fight the animator. I wouldnt say I was far from hating God 2 years ago I even wrote in my blog my best friend said I was the anti Christ. I remember walking into church and saying it was lame shit. You made the choice to be left alone by him or so thats the way its gonna be. You'll never be with him.
I wouldn't have walked back into church ever, if I hadn't met a really intelligent girl in my university who changed me mind just by my watching the way she lived her life. I saw that it is wise, and I saw that she made good choices. She was an INTP, but she didn't look down on herself. I wanted to know her secret. That was why I tried out church camp...just once. It was seeing the way they lead their life that changed my mind. It wasn't the spiritual experiences - I did not fully believe in God till much later, though I stuck to the church at first because they were good and educated people I enjoyed talking to.