I would like to *hope that people are not intentionally mean but rather they have issues such as insecurity, childhood trauma's etc which make them behave the way they do as they have not been addressed. Those who have been purposely mean to me, i try and look at their behaviours and *hope that karma bites them on the ass to the power of three.
*hope is not reality though.
“I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
― Georgia O'Keeffe
Some people try to get other people to feel their emotions for them because they cant handle the emotions themselves, like the kid who someone laughs at who immediately turns to another and makes them a laughing stock instead. Affective idiots.
People are mean when they have a constant need prove and validate their own sense of power. (as others have said)
Originally Posted by Beargryllz
Assertions of dominance are to be expected by social animals, and these assertions are rarely well-received by the losing party.
It is important to note that the categories of "mean" and "dominant" are not synonymous. Dominance is also a quality of charisma and positive reactions. Social creatures require cooperation, so intentionally harming one in a group requires a net positive response from that group. Meanness is also alienating by nature, and very often alpha animals are granted their position by their natural dominance of strength and capability and not simply their willingness to harm other members of their community. An alpha that is too "mean" will tend to absorb the resources of the group and cause its destruction. Regardless of how strong or mean a single member of a group may be, in social animals there is always the possibility of the group joining together to resolve the imbalance of power, so that can place a natural limit on "meanness".
Example: We have three large dogs that are of dominant breeds, and so our family functions much like a dog pack. My role is to assert dominance to be one of the alphas. This requires raising my voice at times and demonstrating strength. This is to impose order because I know myself to be the capable leader. There is nothing in the dynamic that is related to a desire to harm. Many times alpha animals instinctually know their capabilities and that their pack will survive best with them as leader and so their show of strength is in place for a net effect of help for the group. The more submissive members of the group do not accept this strength with personal suffering. Dominance is often reassuring just as it is for children who suffer when a sense of order and capable dominance is not demonstrated.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
I think there are many possibilities. My theory is that several things may be at play:
- they are unhappy people and misery loves company
- they have been hurt in the past and are treating others in the way they have been treated themselves or are taking this hurt out on others
- they are insecure and are mean to others to feel more powerful or secure
- they lack empathy and may not even aware they are being mean
- they are a sociopath
- their ego and sense of self importance is out of whack
These are a few. I think there can be lots of reasons.
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