Every action can indeed be considered selfish.
Personally, selfishness is not a word that I associate with that much of a negative subtext, though. And that is where the issue lies. This topic is so often debated BECAUSE we are doing just that. We start the debate already making the assumption that selfishness (due to indoctrination, education and simple everyday usage of the word) is a bad thing instead of looking at it as natural animal reaction to the world around us.
Selfishness per se isn't morally wrong in my opinion, so it doesn't have that bad a connotation for me.
I think we like to believe the old granny that brings dolls to sick children has a good reason and has achieved a higher plane of human wisdom to live her life as an unselfish person, but the truth is...the more I read about it, the more I think we are a slave to what we already are.
That's why upbringing has such a powerful effect on whether you into a criminal or a generally nice guy...we like to think it's good or evil are ALWAYS conscious actions...to give people points for doing good deeds and to give them bad points for doing bad deeds....but the truth imo, is that it's not that clear cut and that we largely acted based on unconscious processes. Even when we are acting using our conscience, we are still influenced by our natural inclinations that were simply shaped by our environment and that we can't influence as much as we think we can (or at least it usually takes a lifetime and a lot of willpower and LSD to achieve )...
The other way to tackle the topic is to talk about semantics of course.